Cameron Diaz at the Green Hornet premiere

By brendon January 11, 2011 @ 3:25 PM

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Seth Rogen stars as the Green Hornet in the new movie of the same name, but I’m the one who’s really green today. Green with envy that is, because he got to be so close to the lovely Cameron Diaz. She’s not as pretty now as she was before she had to kill Mace Windu, but he was a powerful Jedi, and that lightning bolt thing she did with her fingers would take a toll on anyones looks

Cameron Diaz is in a bikini, an idiot

By brendon December 23, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

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The best thing about these pictures of Cameron Diaz and her lover Alex Rodriguez in Hawaii yesterday is that they were taken from really far away and the water looks real pretty, so you’re not overwhelmed by how shockingly ugly Cameron Diaz is.

Oh, and she’s as athletic as she is lovely. She even managed to stand on this paddle board for a few seconds without having to sit back down. I think the problem is those things are only like 10 feet long and 4 feet wide. They should really be bigger. Maybe we can get someones roof and Cameron can stand on that. Or just a regular boat. What about the land Cameron, can you maybe walk on land for 20 seconds without tipping over, you fucking spaz.

(source = inf daily)

Cameron Diaz is a GD monster

By brendon December 20, 2010 @ 7:34 AM

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Do we ever send anyone good down to Mexico? Or is it just fug, out of shape whores like Cameron Diaz (who was there again this weekend with Alex Rodriguez), Jennifer Aniston, Chelsea Handler, Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan? I’m pleasantly surprised they haven’t declared war on us at this point.

(source = inf daily and splash news online)

orange you glad to see Cameron Diaz

By brendon December 02, 2010 @ 6:00 PM

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I take sole responsibility and 100 percent of the credit for the demise of Kirsten Snaggletooth Dunst, and now I hope Cameron Diaz can be the next to go because are you god damn kidding me? She still looks mostly human in movies but when you see her live, like yesterday at the Green Hornet premiere, she’s a damn monster. She’s so hideously ugly and annoying, if I were in a horrible car wreck and the car was on fire and I saw Cameron running to help, I’d summon my last ounce of strength to lock the doors and turn up the radio.

Whose heels were higher: Cameron Diaz or Tom Cruise?

By brendon September 30, 2010 @ 6:14 PM

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I guess the Daily Mail was the first to point this out, but Cameron Diaz is 5’9″ and Tom Cruise is 5’7″. And earlier this week she wore 4 inch heels to the Japanese premiere of ‘Knight and Day’. And yet…

Give Cruise credit though, because the lifts in his shoes and the extra high soles are very subtle. I guess when you’re short you have to do this kind of thing. I wouldn’t know of course because I’m a rugged 6’5″, an adventurous hunk who lives for danger, as if you couldn’t tell by my shark tooth necklace and snug-fit safari shorts.

You would cry too if you had to see Knight and Day

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 3:15 PM

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Like a dark ominous cloud over the sea rolling in the from the west, ‘Knight and Day’ had it’s Japanese premiere in Tokyo earlier today.

Tom Cruise scared some little kids (“Why his crothes so tight? No I no want see, he rook rike pervert!!”) but thanks to things like Gamera and Pokemon, Japanese kids think ugly monsters are friendly and here to protect them, so when Cameron Diaz arrived, she turned those frowns upside down.