“I’m always traveling for cock.”

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 11:10 AM

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I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Megan Fox doesnt have to scour the countryside to find someone, anyone, to have sex with her. Not only does Cameron Diaz have to do that, but she seems to think it’s some badge of honor. The Sun says…

“Oh gosh, I can’t even count how many times I’ve gotten on a plane for love.
“It’s not unusual in this business – my lifestyle demands it.
“I’m always traveling for cock. You’ve got to go where it is.”
And Cameron didn’t leave it there.
“I’m primal on an animalistic level, kind of like, ‘Bonk me over the head, throw me over your shoulder. You man, me woman.’
“Not everybody has the right kind of primal thing for me… I love physical contact.
“I have to be touching my lover, like, always. It’s not optional.”

I don’t feel so good all of a sudden. This would be a terrific story if Jessica Alba were the one telling it, but Cameron Diaz looks like she just punched her way out of a grave. I’d rather fuck Jessica Albas shoe than Cameron Diaz.

tuesday headlines

By brendon June 15, 2010 @ 6:10 PM

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CAMERON DIAZ – is in a bikini in Hawaii. Is she as fug and pale and flat chested as she seems? Let’s find out together my friend! (the sun)

AL GORE – filed for divorce recently, and now Star says he’s been having a two year affair with the ex-wife of Larry David. When asked for a comment, Bill Clinton nodded proudly. (star)

BIG BOI – has released a second single from his next record, and after I become a UFC fighter this will totally be my entrance music. (youtube)

CAMILA ALVES – and her husband Matthew McConaughey (image not available) walked around New York yesterday, and she’s actually not that great looking. It’s weird. And yet here I am, not caring. (splash news online)

twitter …….. facebook …….. refrigerator apartheid

cameron diaz is disgusting

By brendon June 07, 2010 @ 3:47 AM

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Deuteronomy 2:25 says,

“This very day I will begin to put the terror and fear of you on all the nations under heaven. They will hear reports of you and will tremble and be in anguish because of you.”

I don’t have a phone number for Cameron Diaz but if I did I would call her and leave that message after watching the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. God this bitch is ugly. You really have to witness it full size to really experience the paralysis of fear one suffers when they see her blotchy skin, misshapen face and cloudy zombie eyes. And every time I see her she’s 10 times uglier than the time before. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

cameron diaz and hollywood really do suck

By brendon March 29, 2010 @ 2:31 PM

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Cameron Diaz filmed some scenes for ‘Bad Teacher’ this weekend, and I don’t know what that’s about, but this is probably a safe bet:

Trailer/ Poster – If the poster doesn’t say “Hot For Teacher” or the trailer doesn’t play “Hot For Teacher”, I will eat my fucking hat.

Read more >

As if Leo would hit this

By brendon July 22, 2009 @ 10:31 AM

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Yesterday the Sun had some crazy fairy tale claiming Leonardo DiCaprio was secretly dating Cameron Diaz, and had taken her on a “series of secret dates around London”. They said she was also dating Jude Law. Law I can understand, that dude would hump a beehive, but DiCaprio? GTF outa here. There is zero chance he went from Bar Rafaeli to this fug mess. And maybe to make that point clear, he had dinner last night 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 models. 5.

WENN identified one as Amanda Charlwood and another as Emma Miller, then said the group joined “DiCaprio for dinner at the Punch Bowl before heading to Whisky Mist.”

Now granted none of those bitches are especially hot, but they’re still better looking and 20 years younger than Cameron Diaz. They could have been dead for 2 months and they’d still be hotter than Cameron Diaz. I’d rather blow a guy on stage at my high school reunion than hold hands with Cameron Diaz.

(15 more pictures of Cameron at MTV here. the banner isn’t just a bad picture. that bitch is a monster. hq jump here. source = wenn)

Seriously. What the hell?

By brendon June 01, 2009 @ 10:14 AM

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It’s hard to even make sense of how boring and pointless the MTV Movie Awards have become. It used to be a good show. It was funny, clever, it looked cool and hot girls showed up dressed real slutty. Now … Ashley Tisdale? The Transexual in a seven-minute gum commercial? This must be what it felt like for boxing fans when Muhammad Ali tried to wrestle in the late 70’s. It’s just sad.