By Lex March 14, 2014 @ 12:55 PM
Soon, Scarlett Johansson will be bringing new life into this world with her French boyfriend Jean Valjean or something like that. While most people voted for Scarlett not to get pregnant so they could continue masturbating to her old body, they probably didn’t consider how much bigger her already big tits would get. Just look at her on the red carpet. She almost makes me want to pay $12 to watch Chris Evans try to remember his acting class techniques again. All we can do now is wait for the nude pregnancy photos some hacker kid will rip from her cellphone by June. You know she’s taking them. Who has tits like that and doesn’t feel compelled to keep a photo diary? That’s rhetorical.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Travis May 01, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Captain America: The Winter Soldier is currently filming in Los Angeles, and these new set photos show Chris Evans picking on a nerdy bald guy while Scarlett Johansson stands behind him, using her super power of looking fantastic with fake red hair and leather pants. Johansson’s Black Widow also joins in on the ass-kicking, but it’s actually her stunt double, in case you were starting to get excited about your chest-kicking fetish.
I don’t know anything about the plot of this sequel, but I’m hoping is has something to do with an evil villain trying to take over the world and the only thing that can stop him is the Black Widow entering a wet t-shirt contest.
(Photo Credits: WENN)
If you’ve seen ‘Captain America’ by now, you know that it ends with the first look at ‘the Avengers’. And if you havent seen it by now, um, well it ends with the first look at ‘the Avengers’. But why sit through an entire movie (like a fool!) when you can use the internet to see Thor throw a hammer in the woods today, right now! Why is he throwing a hammer? Because fuck those trees, that’s why.
(HD copies here)
AMY WINEHOUSE – will be buried tomorrow in a private funeral service in London. So for her sake I hope she’s actually dead. (abc news)
CAPTAIN AMERICA – won the weekend box office with $65.1 million, Harry Potter was second with $47.4M, and ‘Friends With No Strings’ was third with $18.6M. It would have made more but it turns out that Justin Timberlake is a jackass and nobody likes him. (box office mojo)
JENNIFER LOPEZ – has essentially agreed to a new contract to return to ‘American Idol’ for another season. “How could we not after the great way she helped pick an instantly irrelevant winner,” Fox probably said. (e!)
ADRIANNA LIMA – spent yesterday at the beach in Miami with her bikini-picture-ruining little girl. I’ll get you for this you little bitch! (flynet)
‘Captain America’ had it’s premiere last night at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood, which of course means that English actress Hayley Atwell was there.
Atwell plays Peggy Carter, who is part of the program that transforms Steve Rodgers from a scrawny kid into a superhero. Atwell and her huge breasts act as the moral compass of the film, and as her relationship with Rogers grows more intimate and a romance develops, the three of them are able to inspire Rodgers to keep fighting, to stay on the right path, and to be true to himself and his country.
Also in the pictures is Chris Evans. I don’t know what he plays. Probably like a doctor or tennis player or something.
MARILYN MONROE – allegedly is the star of a newly discovered 8mm film showing her having sex when she was 20. The owner is trying to sell it, though hopefully this is just a police sting to identify guys who want to watch a girl who’s been dead for 50 years have sex. (cbs)
SNOOKI AND MIKE TYSON – are 2 of the names being mentioned to face off on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. And hopefully in an assault trial after that. Guess which one is the defendant in my little day dream. (us)
CHARLIE SHEEN – always brags about his sexual prowess, but Bree Olson says they usually had sex just once a day. Surprisingly, that one-a-day limit was not her idea. (sun)
CAPTAIN AMERICA – opens tomorrow and so far 71 percent of the reviews have been good. I wish I could say the same for my Captain America outfit. Those kids were pretty mean as I waited in line to buy my ticket. Fine, be a bunch of jerks, I hate this stupid theater anyway! (rotten tomatoes)
KIM KARDASHIAN – is suing Old Navy for $20 million because she thinks the girl in thier new ad looks too much like her (this girl). Apparently she feels it should be illegal for other girls to have a face. (ny daily news)