Cara Delevingne Misses Her Lady’s Tongue

By Lex April 14, 2014 @ 3:30 PM

Cara Delevingne Hides From The Press With Her Sister Poppy At Coachella
Cara Delevingne has become enslaved to the dark draw of the Michelle Rodriguez power tongue. By the time you’ve invited Michelle into your sacred keep, your clitoral fate has already been sealed. Cara can only go out in the moonlight and must hide her face from the camera flashes as the luminescence makes her labia singe. Coachella seemed like a horrible choice of venues for a young woman now living in the shadows of her own Sapphic desires. In the overnight hours Michelle would approach the gates of the Empire Polo Grounds and transform into a Lycan pussy hound, puncturing the carotids of any female who had so much as looked with desire upon her young concubine. Even for a Lilith Fair, that’s a lot of unexplained lesbian deaths.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Cara Delevingne Is Making Out With Herself For YSL (VIDEO)

By Travis April 11, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

It’s still downright baffling how someone who is 35 and constantly looks like she smells like a brewery like Michelle Rodriguez was able to score a lesbian fling with model Cara Delevingne, but sometimes the experimental bisexual love of two famous and wealthy people knows no bounds. But Cara’s new ad campaign for Yves Saint Laurent allowed her to seduce and kiss someone who’s more on her level, because she’s kissing herself, or at least a mirror image of herself, in this lipstick commercial. If anything, this could be the video that finally proves to all the government assholes who oppose cloning that there are benefits of the controversial testing and procedures that far outweigh the cries of the pussies that claim it’s all for saving mankind.

Michelle Rodriguez Makes Lesbianism Glisten

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 3:24 PM

Michelle Rodriguez Makes Out With A Topless Cara Delevigne At The Beach In Cancun
As much as I hooted and applauded when angry Ellen Page pulled off her dyke glasses to announce she was a lesbian, and as excited as I am by Sara Gilbert’s latest ocean-overlooking lesbian wedding, nothing makes me feel more progressive and politically gay correct than supporting chicks making out on the beach in Cancun. If it’s Michelle Rodriguez and her topless little British supermodel piece of conquest cheese, all the better. Michelle didn’t need to make a big speech or cry or have everybody validate her forbidden love. She just went and got some. And that’s the way it should be. Love should know no boundaries nor be defined by petty writs of law. If you can finger it, you can love it. Take that, GLAAD. My inclusionary motto just fucked your motto and made it its bitch.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash

Cara Delevingne And Michelle Rodriguez Are Making Things Happen

By Travis March 07, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Recently-announced lovers Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez are still going strong, as they both attended a meeting with Cara’s management team yesterday in London. While the nature of their meeting wasn’t revealed, it was probably something about how they shouldn’t give the lesbian makeout sessions away for free in public when they can make the public love them more with some subtle teasing and light, over-the-clothes petting. Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense why they were acting all shy and reserved when they pulled up to Cara’s house, after we already watch them spend two quarters of a Knicks game cleaning each other tongues off. Unless they were sober, of course, because that will make even the horniest lesbians boring as hell.

Photo Credits: Will Alexander/

Michelle Rodriguez Wore Cara Delevingne Out

By Travis February 19, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

You can have all of the money in the world and be the most popular model at just 21 years of age, but even the most coked up adrenaline freaks run out of gas sometimes. Hard-partying, face-making, bisexual love-making, Michelle Rodriguez finger-banging model Cara Delevingne was a grand example of that last night, as the usually perky and oh-so-zany supermodel looked like a powered down Terminator robot as she was leaving her hotel in London last night. Where was she going looking like this? Maybe to Scotland Yard, where she could ask investigators why, of all of the gorgeous lesbians and bisexual women in the world, she chose to “date” Michelle Rodriguez. This might be the world’s greatest mystery right now.

Photo Credits:

Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne Are Officially Lezzing Out

By Jack February 18, 2014 @ 1:19 PM

Michelle Rodriguez is officially slamming clams with model Cara Delevinge. The two have been spotted around town on what looked like dates but with girls, you never know if they’re BFFs or finger banging the stink out of each other nightly. Michelle came out as bisexual last year, which translates basically to, I like dudes, but if a young chick supermodel is willing to chomp my box, hell yeah.

“It’s going really well. She’s so cool. When we started hanging out I just thought she was awesome, and we have the best time together. She’s hard though. You wouldn’t want to mess with her in a fight. Cara’s at her own fashion week party tonight, so doing her own thing.”

It’s hard not to give Michelle Rodriguez some manly high-fives for snagging a 21-year old hot fashion model. If Michelle convinced that young chick that all men are just like the skeevy dudes in the modeling industry who’ve been trying to rape her since 12, all the power to Michelle. It’s a strong psychological play. A women with master cocksman type powers is a dangerous weapon. There’s no point in making fun of Michelle Rodriguez at this point because it would merely be jealousy.