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Carmen Ortega Has a Backup Plan

You may recall Carmen Ortega as the model who tried to get somebody famous in professional sports to knock her up before she gets old and unwanted. That narrows the list of part-time models in Miami down. She's also the girl who got to know the true Justin Bieber by having a heart to heart talk with him in the backroom of a strip club in Florida. Jesus does find you in the silliest places. Arriving quickly at Plan C,...read more

Carmen Ortega Inspires Justin Bieber to Live For the Now

Carmen Ortega has slept with a good number of athletes, so she knows a thing or two about the human condition. You don't get to ball Reggie Bush and LeBron James and not come away with some insight on the male superstar psyche. Carmen spent 90 minutes with Justin Bieber at the King of Diamonds strip club earlier this week and she got a good feel for the misunderstood midget bard: He really cares what people say. He...read more

Carmen Ortega Models A Thong Bikini For A 138 Water

At this point, the 138 Water people are just grabbing girls with large asses off the street to pose for fifty dollars. This easily could be a single camera guy who put fake label on his Dasani water bottle and has convinced desperate hungry models that it's some new product campaign. It's one way to meet girls. Or murder and dismember them in the back of your van. We need one of those gritty movie cops to investigate...read more

Carmen Ortega In A Bikini

Carmen Ortega was the model slash escort girl who started banging Reggie Bush when he was dating Kim Kardashian. She also maybe tried to sell a sex tape she made with Reggie, to no avail. Then Reggie dumped her for yet another girl who also looked like Kim Kardashian. If I had to sum up Reggie Bush's type, I'd say scheming brunettes with big titties and asses. I like slender blonds who have been mute since birth. We...read more

Carmen Ortega In A Bikini

Only important people get phone calls at the beach. When I'm by the water, I'm usually there with the one or two people who might call me anyhow, so if the phone rings, it's usually somebody with a harsh accent asking where Effram is. If I knew where Effram was, half my cell phone calls would end on a much happier note. Model Carmen Ortega seems to be on a very important call. Maybe it's about a new modeling...read more

Carmen Ortega Barely in a Bikini

I can't think of any reason to share these brand new pictures of model Carmen Ortega with you. I can't even think of a good reason to explain who she is. You don't care. You're looking at her zippers. Or her enormous jugs. Or both. Men's two greatest attention draws are shiny object and tits. This could be a tough one. Pull through, son of Odin. Photo Credit: FameFlynetread more

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