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morning headlines

BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they're still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared) BONER - from 'Growing Pains' was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from 'Star Trek' asked for the...read more

what the hell

It seems impossible that this is a coincidence, but a photographer taking pictures of Charlie Sheens Mercedes', the car that was stolen from his home then driven off Mullholland to crash down to the valley below, found a second car. This one is Bentley, and it's not yet known if anyone is inside or at least was when it crashed. If it is Sheens, and someone is doing this to get back at him for something, someone sure...read more

everyone loves charlie sheen

Charlie Sheen was fast asleep early this morning when he received a call from OnStar after the airbags were deployed on one of his cars. He looked outside but didn't see the car. He didn't see the car because he wasn't looking at the bottom of the canyon, which is where whoever took the car put it. It's not clear who was behind all this, but an even better question is when did TV reporters become such pussies. In this...read more

afternoon headlines

BRAD PITT - now that he may be single again, Jennifer Aniston wants him to know she'll take him back. But she won't beg. Unless he wants her too, and then she'll crawl across the floor on her hands and knees, groveling and pleading as if her very life depended on it. (star) JAY LENO - told Oprah that he hasn't spoken to Conan since all the Tonight Show drama began. "I haven't talked to him through all this … it didn't...read more

brooke mueller is pretty easy going

Just about two weeks ago, Brooke Mueller was on the phone with the cops, crying and begging for her life after her husband Charlie Sheen put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. But time heals all wounds, even puncture wounds, and now she's ready to reunite. People says... Another possible delay in a hearing between Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen's lawyers is proving to be quite frustrating. "Brooke and...read more

charlie, you scamp!

I'm sure you remember that Charlie Sheen spent Christmas in jail because his wife said he held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her, but do you remember back when Kobe Bryant was accused of anally raping a 19-year-old girl? Well Charlie Sheen sure does, with hilarious results! Charie's return to work was greeted with tension that quickly dissolved into laughter. At a table reading for Charlie's hit show...read more

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its the 911 call

The 911 call placed by Charlie Sheens wife Brooke Mueller on Christmas day after he choked her and threatened her with a knife has been released, and it's a delightful peek into the life of a Hollywood playboy who has been above the law his entire life. Some of the highlights... 911: Tell me exactly what happened. BROOKE: My husband had me, with a knife and I'm scared for my life and he threatened me. 911: Which room...read more

charlie sheen went after his wife with a knife

Charlie Sheen has been arrested so many times it's hard to keep up, but at least 5 times for drug possession, soliciting prostitutes, and credit card fraud. He was not arrested when he shot Kelly Preston in the arm or when he allegedly threatened to kill Denise Richards and their kids or when he maybe killed a hooker. Three days ago he was arrested again for second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief after...read more

Charlie knows the truth about 9/11

Charlie Sheen has posted a make-believe transcript from a conversation he did not have with President Obama, in which the star of ‘Scary Movie 3' lays out the "facts" regarding the US governments role in the terrorist attacks of 9/11. The problem is that most of his evidence is laugh-out-loud stupid, and the voices in his head seem to understand that. Even the guy who tells me a simple little pill can make a certain...read more

DENISE RICHARDS IS A ... UM ... BLACK PERSON

Remember the rumor that Denise Richards used to be a call girl for Heidi Fleiss? That’s not really relevant to anything but still it was pretty cool. Anyway, yesterday some voice mails left by her ex Charlie Sheen magically appeared online. And the guy who once told her to "go cry to your bald mom you fuckin loser" while her mom was receiving chemotherapy is still as charming as ever. He apologized yesterday, but on...read more

CHARLIE SHEEN HAS TRANNY-INFESTED SPERM

Yesterday, sources close to Charlie Sheen leaked to the media that Denise Richards was lying when she said she needed to do a reality TV show for the money, as she was already making over 600,000 a year in child support alone, andcould eventually make as muchas 25 millionthanks to Charlie’s TV show. Well today, Denise decided to take the high road and has officially refused to comment on that story. I’m joking of...read more

CHARLIE SHEEN IS DOING GREAT

The New York Daily News says that Charlie Sheen once paid 6,000 dollars to purchase a Real Doll, an anatomically correct sex doll, this one dressed like a cheerleader. From there though, the story gets a little weird. But then came the night when, according to our source, Sheen tried to get two female party companions interested in a foursome with the bouncy cheerleader."They couldn't stop laughing at him," says the...read more

CHARLIE SHEEN IS CHARMING

Denise Richards filed documents last week in her ongoing divorce from Charlie Sheen, and included several emails she claims were written to her by Sheen. So naturally Page Six printed them. Oh, and they’re just adorable, like a sonnet from olden days:"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself sad jobless pig.""You are an evil piece of...read more