“Wait, don’t leave! I’m not done!’’

By brendon April 13, 2011 @ 2:06 PM

Charlie Sheen

Fresh from getting boo’d off the stage in New York, Charlie Sheen took his show to Boston last night and proved he can drive audiences away no matter where he goes. The Boston Globe says…

Just before 10 last night, as hundreds of disgusted spectators streamed toward the exits at Agganis Arena, Charlie Sheen shouted from the stage: “Wait, don’t leave! I’m not done!’’
But most of them kept right on going, and who could blame them? For nearly 90 minutes they had been subjected to a witless barrage of non sequiturs, non-stories, non-jokes — a non-event, start to finish.
When the dreary debacle was finally over, the applause died before Sheen had even left the stage.

Charlie Sheen is a bitter and delusional drunk, so I’m not sure why those people are booing. What the hell did they expect. It’s like boo’ing at the Special Olympics.

(note: paula dean was at the same new york hotel as sheen, and sheen is searching for a new goddess. coincidence?)

Charlie Sheen was boo’d off the stage again

By brendon April 11, 2011 @ 1:36 AM

51349PCN_Torpedo

Charlie Sheen and his winning smile (see what I did there) were in New York this weekend to perform his captivating one man show, and depending on who you ask his show on Friday night was either horrible or completely horrible.

Entertainment Weekly says…

It was an aimless and slovenly disaster, with the crowd taking less than 20 minutes to turn on him. And once they did, the boos and the catcalls just kept slowly escalating.
His dribbled-out, half-baked ramblings try to be funny, but mostly they’re like setups without the punchlines.
I can testify that if he had actually tried to say something thoughtful or confessional or interesting, the crowd would have been with him. Instead, the first trickles of heckling, I’m not kidding, commenced within the opening five minutes.

He also did a show on Saturday which apparently went better, but based on that EW review “better” could honestly just mean he didn’t shit his pants.

(image source = inf daily and pacific coast)

Mila Kunis is disgusted by Charlie Sheen

By brendon April 08, 2011 @ 3:56 PM

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis is a 27 year old, well-liked and respected actress, the daughter of a physics teacher and a mechanical engineer, who dated the same guy for the past 9 years (though they broke up in January).

Charlie Sheen is a 45-year-old degenerate drug addict with a history of violence against women and who will fuck literally anything.

Now try and guess what her reaction was when he announced that he wants to stalk her on facebook before he and his diseased girlfriends gang bang her.

“Obviously Charlie wanted to name someone who would create publicity for his tour, but the thought of it grosses Mila out,” a pal of the starlet tells us.

Well, it won’t be long before she regrets turning down this enticing offer. The next time she wants a haggard middle aged man to pull his scabby penis out of a strangers ass and then put it in her mouth, she’ll have no one to blame but herself.

(image source = bauer griffin and inf daily)

Charlie Sheen wants Mila Kunis to be his third “goddess”

By brendon April 07, 2011 @ 12:48 PM

SPL264746_001

When you surround yourself with one kind of person long enough, you start to think all people are like that. Date a bunch of dirty whores for a year or two, then go out with an accountant and she’s gonna look pretty surprised when you nonchalantly pound it in her ass.

In a related story, Charlie Sheen went on stage last night in Columbus, Ohio, and announced that he wants MIla Kunis to be his third girlfriend, along with the porn star and marijuana model. The Huffington Post says…

“Here’s the good news – my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved!” Sheen said.
“I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.”
Sheen told the audience how he plans on luring her.
“I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes,” Sheen said. “I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal.”

I wonder if that’s why he was scaring Sarah Hyland a few weeks ago. She looks like an adolescent Mila Kunis. More importantly; really? People are really paying to see this jackass ramble on about nothing? I’m Irish. If I wanted to see some abusive drunk take off his shirt and scream profanity I’d go to my family reunions.

(image source = splash news)

Charlie Sheen is getting booed off stage

By brendon April 04, 2011 @ 10:15 AM

53111PCN_Sheenshow

If having an old burned out drunk get on stage and ramble incoherently sounds like a dynamite night of entertainment, then you’re sure to love the “Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option” tour, which stated this weekend in Detroit when he got booed off the stage. People says…

The people who packed the Fox Theatre in Detroit on Saturday night for Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth booed as the actor launched into a series of nonsensical rants from behind a podium.
In fact, his rants were so nonsensical that even Sheen seemed confused, and he stopped right in the middle of his speech, saying, “Is anybody as confused by this s–– as I am?”

His second show was last night in Chicago, and the good news is it didn’t suck as bad.

Though by no means an overwhelming success, the performance was quite a turnaround from the kickoff show in the Motor City, which critics widely panned and the crowd met with boos, shouts of “refund” and mass walk-outs.
It was a loud and raucous show throughout, with fans screaming questions, compliments and insults, including “You suck!” and “Shut it!”

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that an old man repeating already annoying catch phrases, telling aimless stories and complaining won’t be the money making extravaganza they had in mind.

(image source = pacific coast)

CBS wants Charlie Sheen back at work

By brendon March 21, 2011 @ 1:20 PM

charlie-sheen-two-and-a-half-men-7224204-1024-768

The reason that some people think Hollywood only cares about money is because Hollywood only cares about money, and so with that in mind, CBS President Les Moonves is reportedly trying to find a way to get Charlie Sheen back to work on Two and a Half Men, despite the fact that he’s an unstable and violent lunatic. But Moonves has a plan; just ignore it.

(Moonves) is ready, willing, and able to forgive and forget all of Sheen’s recent antics and continue broadcasting the series.
Moonves has been speaking directly with top execs at Warner Bros. Television (and) ‘Men’ co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre.
“Moonves wants to get the show back on the air. He’s all for it. He says certain people need to forget anything and everything Charlie’s done recently and just move on with the business at hand.
“The core issue is, as he put it, the volatile relationship between Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre. He believes that if CBS and Warner Bros. TV honchos can find a way to get Chuck and Charlie to speak again, cooler heads will prevail.”

Yeah Sheen seems pretty rational, so I’m sure this can all be worked out. Just go over to his house, he’s probably out back with a red striped shirt and patch over his eye, ready to launch a homemade rocket so he can be an outer space pirate, but if you hurry he can be back in the office by Wednesday.