afternoon headlines

KACEY JORDAN - is the porn star who won't stop talking about her time with Charlie Sheen, and now she even says she had an abortion last Thursday that could have been his. Or it could have been from a different celebrity the week before. She doesn't really sweat the... read more

Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show

Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show today, presumably to let everyone know that he was clean and sober and in a great frame of mind, but really he just sounded like a complete drunken ass. When asked why his voice was sore, Sheen explained that he went to the set... read more

does Charlie Sheen have a sex tape? gee what do you think.

Last week it was reported that Charlie Sheen wanted to buy a house and then fill it with porn stars. A harem, in other words. Of sex slaves. And also "co-stars", as it turns out. The Huffington Post says... Sheen's madam, who goes by the name of Felony, (said) he was... read more

Charlie Sheen will be back to work this month

Last Friday Charlie Sheen was asked about his drug addiction and he said, "I'm fine, people don't seem to get it", and yesterday he said all the rumors, presumably about his drug habit, "are crap", so very obviously he isn't doing any sort of rehab while at home. And so... read more

morning headlines

KIM KARDASHIAN - went on a few dates with Gabriel Aubry, and that apparently drove Halle Berry nuts. "She was upset at the idea of someone like that being in her daughter's life. She did not want a reality star in Nahla's life. She was very aggravated." Christ calm... read more

Charlie Sheens mom is the product of a rape

(NOTE: I should probably write TYLER EXCLUSIVE in all caps across the headline, because thats what this is, but it makes me look needy.) The reason Charlie Sheen continues to get work in Hollywood despite a 20 year crime spree is because he's apparently very likable in... read more

Martin Sheen wants a conservatorship over Charlie

Just to be clear, Charlie Sheen is not some adorable scamp, he's a piece of shit with a long history of violence against women, but if he wants to get high and apologize to prostitutes all day, by all means go for it. As long as he doesn't... - Shoot the girl, like he... read more

afternoon headlines

CHARLIE SHEEN - will be doing rehab, ahem, from his house. Because he doesn't want any embarrassing details coming out about his private life. Remember this as you read the very next sentence. (tmz) KACEY JORDAN - has yet another new interview talking about sex with... read more

Charlie Sheen could cost Warner Brothers $250,000,000

Charlie Sheen will reportedly be in rehab for the next three months (note: never gonna happen) which would mean the 8 remaining episodes of this seasons Two and a Half Men won't get made, which could cost Warner Brothers up to 250 million dollars in revenue. And this is... read more

Charlie Sheen enters rehab, Two and a Half Men on hiatus

The official story is still that Charlie Sheen was only in a hospital yesterday because of a hernia he got from laughing too hard, and yet, today he "voluntarily" entered an undisclosed rehab, and his CBS show Two and a Half Men will be temporarily shut down because of... read more

like nothing ever happened

Denise Richards, Martin Sheen, and Dr. Drew are all trying to get Charlie Sheen into drug rehab, but his body can apparently take it, his employer lets him do whatever he wants, and it's not like the pussies in the LAPD would ever arrest a celebrity, so, no, he's not... read more

Charlie Sheen was in the hospital for laughing too hard

Charlie Sheen is an asshole who beats up women, and that's why I had my fingers crossed that he would die yesterday, but he didn't, and now we're gonna have to listen to a bunch of insultingly condescending explanations for why he was rushed to the hospital. Awesome.... read more