Thursday headlines, with sex tapes and lawsuits

MARILYN MONROE - allegedly is the star of a newly discovered 8mm film showing her having sex when she was 20. The owner is trying to sell it, though hopefully this is just a police sting to identify guys who want to watch a girl who's been dead for 50 years have sex. (cbs) SNOOKI AND MIKE TYSON - are 2 of the names being mentioned to face off on 'Dancing With The Stars'. And hopefully in an assault trial after that....read more

Charlie Sheen has a new TV show (not really, btw)

Hollywood is apparently under the impression that 'Anger Management', Adam Sandlers 6th most popular movie that was released 8 years ago, has been begging to be turned into a TV show. And so that's what they're gonna do, and as Charlie Sheens can't-miss comeback project no less! Entertainment Tonight declares... "It's official. Charlie Sheen is returning to sitcom TV." Except that he's not. All he's doing is filming a...read more

Charlie Sheen did steroids for Major League

During a simple enough "where are they now" article for Sports Illustrated about the 1989 baseball comedy ‘Major League', Charlie Sheen admitted to doing steroids to play a pitcher with a devastating fastball. Because that's what fastball pitchers look like. They're mountains of pure muscle. "Let's just say that I was enhancing my performance a little bit. It was the only time I ever did steroids. I did them for like...read more

Charlie Sheen is single

Good news if you're an average looking young girl who can endure the pathetic rambling of a brain damaged drug addict and lick his old grey balls in exchange for publicity, because Charlie Sheen is 100 percent single again. Charlie Sheen's remaining goddess, Natalie Kenly, moved out of Sheen's pad last week. But the model didn't get to keep her fifteen minutes of fame and her sweet ride ... (he) demanded that Kenly...read more

Charlie Sheen borrowed $10M from Warner Bros. last year

Back in March it was reported that Charlie Sheen was essentially broke, which seemed impossible because, in 8 seasons, he filmed 177 episodes of 'Two And A Half Men'. The first year he made $160,000 a week. $3.84 million for the year. After that he was paid $850,000 for each of the next 137 episodes. That's a total of $116,450,000. Last year he got a raise paying a total of around $2 million a week, or $32 million for...read more

Charlie Sheen is "destroyed" to lose Two And A Half Men

It should probably go without saying that if you go on TV with two prostitutes and explain in great detail about how much you love drugs and call your boss a "pussy punk" and "piece of shit" among other things, and cost your employer $250 million, that might burn a few bridges at work. But apparently it's news to Charlie Sheen, because he's been waiting all this time for CBS to invite him back to 'Two And A Half Men',...read more

Charlie Sheen reacts to Ashton Kutcher taking his job

Like everyone else, I naturally assumed Charlie Sheen would take the news that he was replaced on 'Two And A Half Men' by Ashton Kutcher with a quiet dignity. But, as it turns out, he was a smug, condescending dickhead about it. Huh. That's really surprising. Charlie tells TMZ, "Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!!" Charlie continues, taking a shot at the show, saying,...read more

CBS will replace Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher

It's just a few days until CBS hosts their upfront (when networks basically stage a huge convention and party and present next seasons shows to advertisers so they buy commercial space now, hence the term "upfront") so it's pretty important that they have a cast in place for the highest rated comedy on television, 'Two And A Half Men'. Which is the only reason I can think of for them to settle on Ashton Kutcher to...read more

Charlie Sheen got dumped by Bree Olson

If there's one thing I know about porn stars, it's that they're perfect girlfriend material. Steady as a rock, they are. So I was surprised when pictures of Charlie Sheen on his Torpedo of Truth tour last week only showed him with one goddess, only one of his two girlfriends, and zero hot ones. Where was Bree Olson? That was rhetorical, by the way. She went home, and she went on twitter. "It feels SO GOOD to be home!...read more

Charlie Sheen is still a boring old drunk

Charlie Sheen still has another 9 tour dates planned for his Torpedo of Truth tour, and if there's a city on there that wants to hear a bitter washed up drunk sit still and mumble, he should be all set. Last night he was on stage in DC, while everyone else was in the parking lot on the way home. The Washington Post says the, "crowd quaked with catcalls whenever Sheen wasn't talking about doing drugs or manhandling...read more

Charlie Sheen lost big in court today

It might seem weird for a judge in a custody case to decide that a mother who is in drug rehab because she relapsed last week is still a fit parent, but in this case the father is Charlie Sheen. And he came to court with a prostitute. "Fit parent" is a relative term. Radar says... Sheen lost his fight against his estranged wife Brooke Mueller for full custody of their two-year-old twin sons, Max and Bob. According to...read more

Warner Bros is getting tired of Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen (seen here being mobbed by ones of fans as he arrives in Toronto for another "Torpedo of Truth" show) has been saying lately that he's in talks with Warner Bros. about returning to Two and a Half Men, and even said there's an 85 percent chance that they'll ask him to come back. This is all news to Warner Bros. of course, because none of that is actually happening, so today they sent a letter to Sheens...read more

Charlie Sheen hints he'll get his job back, is lying

Charlie Sheen has done everything but beg for his job back at Two and a Half Men, saying he would do it for the fans when in reality he's desperate for money, but no matter what the reason, Sheen said tonight it might really happen. Deadline writes... Sheen has been hinting about a possible return to Two and a Half Men for the past week. Tonight, he dropped the biggest hint so far in a radio interview with Boston...read more

“Wait, don’t leave! I’m not done!’’

Fresh from getting boo'd off the stage in New York, Charlie Sheen took his show to Boston last night and proved he can drive audiences away no matter where he goes. The Boston Globe says... Just before 10 last night, as hundreds of disgusted spectators streamed toward the exits at Agganis Arena, Charlie Sheen shouted from the stage: "Wait, don't leave! I'm not done!'' But most of them kept right on going, and who...read more

Charlie Sheen was boo'd off the stage again

Charlie Sheen and his winning smile (see what I did there) were in New York this weekend to perform his captivating one man show, and depending on who you ask his show on Friday night was either horrible or completely horrible. Entertainment Weekly says... It was an aimless and slovenly disaster, with the crowd taking less than 20 minutes to turn on him. And once they did, the boos and the catcalls just kept slowly...read more