Last night Comedy Central aired their roast of Charlie Sheen, and even for a roast one joke in particular seemed to get people upset when Amy Schumer made a joke to Steve O about Ryan Dunn. But here’s the thing; fuck Ryan Dunn. It’s not like he was torn out of his house by a tiger. He killed himself and a friend after drinking his way to a BAL just under .2 and then drove his Porsche 130 miles per hour. That dipshit deserved to die. I feel worse for the trees Ryan hit than I do for Ryans friends and family. We needed those, fuckface!
Secondly, Amy Schumer is awesome. She could have handed Steve a sketch of Dunns charred remains for all I care.
Charlie Sheen went on the Tonight Show to talk with Jay Leno, and not just because Leno is the one person with worse jokes than Sheen, but also to admit that CBS was right to fire him when they did because he was acting like an asshole.
Sheen was asked if he was still angry towards CBS and the Two And A Half Men producers over the sacking. “No, no. I would have fired my ass, too.”
As for his media blitz last spring, “I said some things that were a little out there,” Sheen said. “I might have overshot the mark a little bit. But these were just metaphors. I didn’t really believe I had tiger blood or Adonis DNA. These were just jokes.”
Leno followed up with, “Many people thought you were out of control. Were you out of control?” Answered Sheen, “Absolutely.”
Wow, so before he had this boundless manic energy, but now he’s calm and lucid. Seems like everyone who thought he was bi-polar should line up and apologize.
If you don’t know, Juggalos are fans of the Insane Clown Posse, and lots of them are dicks who get real brave and throw bottles and stuff but only when they can hide in a crowd. The Gathering of the Juggalos, a music festival founded by the Insane Clown Posse, was held this weekend, and for some reason Charlie Sheen was there to introduce some of the acts.
Sheen probably assumed he was safe because he actually asked for this gig and has referred to himself as a “hardcore Juggalo” in the past, but the crowd threw bottles at him anyway. They should find a more creative outlet for their feelings. I used to be the same way but now I have my pottery and water colors.
At any point during it’s first 8 seasons, I could have described ‘Two And A Half Men’ as being about as funny as a funeral. And now that’s literally true, since that’s how they’re going to explain replacing Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher.
Charlie Sheen’s character Charlie Harper is indeed dead and the season premiere will feature his funeral. Charlie’s girlfriends will come back for the occasion, and his house indeed will be put on the market. The episode will feature potential buyers coming to see the house (as I reported earlier, the list is expected to include real-life celebrities and stars from Men co-creator Chuck Lorre’s other series), with Ashton Kutcher among them.
Wait, this show is a comedy, right? And comedies are things with jokes, with light hearted topics so people can just relax and laugh for a while? I have to ask because either I dont know what a comedy is or CBS doesn’t. Im starting to think its CBS.
Sarah Hyland was on back on the set of ‘Modern Family’ yesterday, and if Charlie Sheen is still stalking her like he was, I hope for her sake he doesn’t see these pictures. Because she still looks 12 (even though she’s 20) and now she’s dressed like a cheerleader. They should replace her regular security with big mean armor plated bears just in case.
MARILYN MONROE – allegedly is the star of a newly discovered 8mm film showing her having sex when she was 20. The owner is trying to sell it, though hopefully this is just a police sting to identify guys who want to watch a girl who’s been dead for 50 years have sex. (cbs)
SNOOKI AND MIKE TYSON – are 2 of the names being mentioned to face off on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. And hopefully in an assault trial after that. Guess which one is the defendant in my little day dream. (us)
CHARLIE SHEEN – always brags about his sexual prowess, but Bree Olson says they usually had sex just once a day. Surprisingly, that one-a-day limit was not her idea. (sun)
CAPTAIN AMERICA – opens tomorrow and so far 71 percent of the reviews have been good. I wish I could say the same for my Captain America outfit. Those kids were pretty mean as I waited in line to buy my ticket. Fine, be a bunch of jerks, I hate this stupid theater anyway! (rotten tomatoes)
KIM KARDASHIAN – is suing Old Navy for $20 million because she thinks the girl in thier new ad looks too much like her (this girl). Apparently she feels it should be illegal for other girls to have a face. (ny daily news)