Considering how fantastically insane Charlie Sheen was just a few months ago, it would be ridiculous to think that he just sort of magically healed overnight and pretend all that other stuff never happened and then go into business with him. But Hollywood is dumb like that so that’s what they’re gonna do.
Specifically FX has ordered 10 episodes of the sitcom based on ‘Anger Management’, with Sheen producing and starring in the Jack Nicholson role. On top of that they have the option to buy 90 more if the initial ratings are good and if by some miracle Sheen is still alive 3 months from now.
For the most part, working in Hollywood is just like working anywhere else. All people really want is to go to work, do their job the best they can, and then go home. Which is why it should come as no surprise that the crew of ‘Two And A Half Men’ prefer working with dullard Ashton Kutcher over, um, “fun loving” Charlie Sheen.
Here’s what two of Sheen’s old worker-bees had to say:
“[Ashton] is really a nice guy. Just a nice guy. And he’s OK on set. He gets the job done—that’s what we all want.”
“He’s just not as funny as Charlie. Not that we’d want Charlie back if you doubled our salaries.”
You hear that?
The guys (and gals) who were having trouble paying their mortgages during one of Sheen’s notorious AWOL meltdowns, do not—repeat—do not want him back.
They are very, very clear about that.
But they also freely volunteer that the show, in their veteran opinions, “just isn’t the same anymore,” and that they find Sheen’s substitute to be more of a “safe replacement.”
Uh, yeah, put me squarely on Ashtons side for this one. If I’m a gaffer on that show, I’d much rather be home by 5 than to have Charlie regaling me with why there’s a nail through his dick at midnight.
Last night Comedy Central aired their roast of Charlie Sheen, and even for a roast one joke in particular seemed to get people upset when Amy Schumer made a joke to Steve O about Ryan Dunn. But here’s the thing; fuck Ryan Dunn. It’s not like he was torn out of his house by a tiger. He killed himself and a friend after drinking his way to a BAL just under .2 and then drove his Porsche 130 miles per hour. That dipshit deserved to die. I feel worse for the trees Ryan hit than I do for Ryans friends and family. We needed those, fuckface!
Secondly, Amy Schumer is awesome. She could have handed Steve a sketch of Dunns charred remains for all I care.
Charlie Sheen went on the Tonight Show to talk with Jay Leno, and not just because Leno is the one person with worse jokes than Sheen, but also to admit that CBS was right to fire him when they did because he was acting like an asshole.
Sheen was asked if he was still angry towards CBS and the Two And A Half Men producers over the sacking. “No, no. I would have fired my ass, too.”
As for his media blitz last spring, “I said some things that were a little out there,” Sheen said. “I might have overshot the mark a little bit. But these were just metaphors. I didn’t really believe I had tiger blood or Adonis DNA. These were just jokes.”
Leno followed up with, “Many people thought you were out of control. Were you out of control?” Answered Sheen, “Absolutely.”
Wow, so before he had this boundless manic energy, but now he’s calm and lucid. Seems like everyone who thought he was bi-polar should line up and apologize.
If you don’t know, Juggalos are fans of the Insane Clown Posse, and lots of them are dicks who get real brave and throw bottles and stuff but only when they can hide in a crowd. The Gathering of the Juggalos, a music festival founded by the Insane Clown Posse, was held this weekend, and for some reason Charlie Sheen was there to introduce some of the acts.
Sheen probably assumed he was safe because he actually asked for this gig and has referred to himself as a “hardcore Juggalo” in the past, but the crowd threw bottles at him anyway. They should find a more creative outlet for their feelings. I used to be the same way but now I have my pottery and water colors.
At any point during it’s first 8 seasons, I could have described ‘Two And A Half Men’ as being about as funny as a funeral. And now that’s literally true, since that’s how they’re going to explain replacing Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher.
Charlie Sheen’s character Charlie Harper is indeed dead and the season premiere will feature his funeral. Charlie’s girlfriends will come back for the occasion, and his house indeed will be put on the market. The episode will feature potential buyers coming to see the house (as I reported earlier, the list is expected to include real-life celebrities and stars from Men co-creator Chuck Lorre’s other series), with Ashton Kutcher among them.
Wait, this show is a comedy, right? And comedies are things with jokes, with light hearted topics so people can just relax and laugh for a while? I have to ask because either I dont know what a comedy is or CBS doesn’t. Im starting to think its CBS.