Charlie Sheens mom is the product of a rape

(NOTE: I should probably write TYLER EXCLUSIVE in all caps across the headline, because thats what this is, but it makes me look needy.) The reason Charlie Sheen continues to get work in Hollywood despite a 20 year crime spree is because he's apparently very likable in person. Unless you're a girl who doesn't want to have sex with him, in which case he can sometimes become a violent jackass. Oh, hey, which reminds me,...read more

Martin Sheen wants a conservatorship over Charlie

Just to be clear, Charlie Sheen is not some adorable scamp, he's a piece of shit with a long history of violence against women, but if he wants to get high and apologize to prostitutes all day, by all means go for it. As long as he doesn't... - Shoot the girl, like he did to Kelly Preston. (imdb) - Hit her in the back of the head if she refuses to sleep with him, like he did to a student at UCLA. (people) - Fling her...read more

afternoon headlines

CHARLIE SHEEN - will be doing rehab, ahem, from his house. Because he doesn't want any embarrassing details coming out about his private life. Remember this as you read the very next sentence. (tmz) KACEY JORDAN - has yet another new interview talking about sex with Charlie Sheen, aaanndd it would almost be over by now according to her. "It was OK. It didn't last very long (probably) because he was so fucked up. When...read more

Charlie Sheen could cost Warner Brothers $250,000,000

Charlie Sheen will reportedly be in rehab for the next three months (note: never gonna happen) which would mean the 8 remaining episodes of this seasons Two and a Half Men won't get made, which could cost Warner Brothers up to 250 million dollars in revenue. And this is why you don't hire people who see a brick of cocaine as a dare. Oh and then there's this... Three hundred crew members are reportedly concerned about...read more

Charlie Sheen enters rehab, Two and a Half Men on hiatus

The official story is still that Charlie Sheen was only in a hospital yesterday because of a hernia he got from laughing too hard, and yet, today he "voluntarily" entered an undisclosed rehab, and his CBS show Two and a Half Men will be temporarily shut down because of it. Sheen's highly successful sitcom, Two and a Half Men, is going on hiatus due to the star's decision to enter rehab, according to a statement from...read more

like nothing ever happened

Denise Richards, Martin Sheen, and Dr. Drew are all trying to get Charlie Sheen into drug rehab, but his body can apparently take it, his employer lets him do whatever he wants, and it's not like the pussies in the LAPD would ever arrest a celebrity, so, no, he's not gonna do that. Instead he's gonna go home, hang out, and party some more, like nothing ever happened. Charlie Sheen will be at work Tuesday on the set of...read more

Charlie Sheen was in the hospital for laughing too hard

Charlie Sheen is an asshole who beats up women, and that's why I had my fingers crossed that he would die yesterday, but he didn't, and now we're gonna have to listen to a bunch of insultingly condescending explanations for why he was rushed to the hospital. Awesome. Officially, he's in there for a hernia. And what caused it to flare up? Was it the 36-hour coke binge? Nooppe. Course not. The Hollywood Reporter One...read more

Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios

So if Charlie Sheen does die today (and honestly if he does who cares) at least he'll have gone out nailing one of the hottest girls in porn, if not all of Hollywood, in Melanie Rios. According to radar, she was the other porn star with Sheen this morning after he went to the hospital, though there's no mention of it on her twitter, which has been updated twice today. The first porn star is said to be Kacey Jordan,...read more

"It's officially 24 hours of drinking! hehe."

I personally think Charlie Sheen is an asshole, but maybe he's actually really cool. Maybe it's cool that he shot Kelly Preston in the arm back when they were engaged. And that his girlfriend Chloe Jones died suspiciously (source). And that two of his wives claim he threatened to kill them, one even saying he held a knife to her throat (source, source). And maybe there's no connection between those things and him...read more

Charlie Sheen has been rushed to the hospital

Charlie Sheen and two of his newest lady friends were having another raucous party all last night and into the morning, aanndd now he might be dead (crossing my fingers). Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital this morning, TMZ has learned ... and a source at the hospital tells us, "It's serious." We're told Charlie was taken out of his home on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance at 7 AM. Two young women exited...read more

at least Charlie Sheen can count on Jim Norton

If not for the out of control drug addiction, paranoia, violence and crime sprees, Charlie Sheen would be pretty cool. Or at least fun to hang out with. The trick is block out everything else and focus all your attention on the prostitutes and whores. Luckily that's what Jim Norton of the Opie and Anthony show is best at, as proven once again in todays New York Post... "As far as I'm concerned, if you make $2 million...read more

Charlie Sheen spent $26,000 on hookers in two days

Charlie Sheen would actually be kind of cool if all you heard was the sex stuff with hookers and porn stars, because let's not kid each other that sounds awesome, but unfortunately he's also an unstable drug addict given to fits of violence and it's only a matter of time before he kills someone. Until then, it's game on, and today Radar says that, during the same weekend in Vegas that he reportedly had an orgy with...read more

CBS knows Charlie Sheen is a degenerate

Charlie Sheen is the star of televisions number 1 sitcom, but mostly he's famous for being a functioning drug addict and all around piece of shit. Now, the head of CBS says she's worried about his behavior, but as long as he eventually makes it to work and mumbles out his lines, he can rape as much coke as he wants. "We have a high level of concern," said Nina Tassler, CBS entertainment president. "How can we not?"...read more

Charlie Sheen had an orgy with Bree Olson

When we last saw Charlie Sheen, who is the star of a CBS sitcom about raising a child, he was in Colorado threatening to murder his wife. Wait, no, my bad, he was in New York City kidnapping prostitutes. But this weekend he was in Las Vegas for the Oscars of Porn, the AVN Awards, and, long story short, he banged three porn stars at once, including Bree Olsen, and is still there even though he's supposed to in LA today...read more

Charlie Sheen might be cleared by his text messages

It's illegal to choke a girl and lock her in your hotel bathroom, unless she's awesome and into that kind of thing. And that appears to be the case with Charlie Sheen and Capri Anderson, which would explain a lot regarding their New York City hotel room drama last month. TMZ has gotten a few text messages the two reportedly sent one another after the incident, and they could go a long way in helping Sheen. ANDERSON:...read more