holy shit, ‘Snow White’ looks terrible

By brendon November 10, 2011 @ 5:51 PM

Kristen Stewart is the star of ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’, but anytime she tries to act it’s as if she’s reading the script for the first time, and the words are upside down and backwards, and she got really really high first. That’s probably why they don’t let her talk, at all, in the trailer that came out today (HD copies here).

In fact she’s barely even in it. Maybe because it eventually dawned on someone that this movie is about Charlize Theron being jealous because Kristen Stewart is hotter than she is, and how that makes no sense, so they just edited around her. I wouldn’t be against them doing that with the whole movie by the way.

Charlize Theron is attractive

By brendon September 21, 2011 @ 1:57 PM

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What’s a bigger phone related story; the HTC party last night in New York, attended by Charlize Theron and Leighton Meester among others, or this report claiming Apple would unveil the iPhone 5 less than 2 weeks from now? Or here’s a better question; what in the hell made me think that would be an interesting introduction? Holy Christ do I need a vacation.

(image source = fame)

Charlize Theron + Ryan Reynolds = TLF

By brendon July 19, 2011 @ 1:53 PM

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As long as you ignore the fact that she appears to be leaving whereas he appears to be arriving, then you can join the rest of the internet and smugly nod because Charlize Theron and Ryan Reynolds were both at LAX yesterday within 15 minutes of each other (to be fair, despite what it looks like, the photo source does describe both as “arriving”). This is because they’re secretly dating. Allegedly. And now this. Coincidence? No, absolutely not, he’s fucking her. A lot. She can’t get enough. And she let’s him put it anywhere. ANYwhere. I mean how much more obvious do you want them to be.

(image source = wenn)

Ryan Reynolds is dating Charlize Theron! Maybe!

By brendon July 13, 2011 @ 2:13 PM

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People magazine and Us magazine have wildly different stories today about who Ryan Reynolds might be banging, but not to worry; in either case, it’s someone really really famous.

Let’s start with People, who says he had a “flirty” date with Scarlett Johansson, whatever the hell that means.

Seven months after announcing their split and nearly two weeks after their divorce was finalized, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson seemed to put the past aside as they dined together at L.A.’s Little Dom’s restaurant Saturday night.
“They were leaning in closely to each other when talking,” a source at the restaurant says. “They were being flirty.”

Meanwhile, Us says that Reynolds has secretly been dating Charlize Theron.

A source says Reynolds, 34, and Charlize Theron, 35, “have been dating — for months! They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”
While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m. — and she left just minutes later.

If you were thinking that this was boring and recycled pictures of Charlize in a bikini from 2008 would really liven things up, then you and I are in complete agreement. You can’t see it but I’m nodding very proudly at you right now.

(image source = flynet)

charlize theron will kiss random girls for money

By brendon October 23, 2009 @ 3:07 PM

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Charlize Theron took part in a charity auction for OneXOne last night, and ended up kissing another girl who paid $140,000. OneXOne’s plan to get two girls to get it on for charity seems much better than my idea, which is to have two girls get it on in exchange for releasing them. Us magazine says…

…while she was initially selling a 2010 trip to South Africa that included World Cup tickets, a safari and a meet-and-greet with Nelson Mandela, she raised the stakes when bidding stalled at $37,000.
To sweeten the pot, she offered up a 7-second kiss for $130,000 to a male bidder. After one man bid $135,000, a woman upped the stakes to $140,000 — ascending the stage for a 20-second smooch as the audience counted down.

I wonder if this would work with the cops when I pick up prostitutes. “Yes, I paid her then cried I mean gave her the best sex of her life, but she was holding a charity auction, and I was the big winner!” In a very real sense, I would be a hero in that scenario, and a truly amazing man.

(picture source = getty images)

ahh, yes, of course

By brendon September 11, 2009 @ 1:55 PM

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Charlize Theron showed off a healthy orange glow as she signed copies of her Vogue magazine cover at the Dior store in New York City yesterday. Things started off with a solo photo shoot, then she did some pictures for something called, “A History Of Gay Stereotypes In America” (*).   I don’t know who those two guys are, but I think good names for them would be Alejandro and Tuffy.

(*) probably.

(14 more here. hq jump here. source = getty)