monday afternoon headlines

By brendon February 15, 2010 @ 5:52 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Charlotte Church & Family Relaxing Poolside In Dubai

THE BRITTANY MURPHY FOUNDATION – has been shut down. The charity started by her ex-husband never filed for charity status, meaning he could spend the money however he wanted. Calling this a charity is the most deceptive name since “glory hole”. (wonderwall)

TIGER WOODS – allegedly got his porn star girlfriend pregnant. Twice. Once she had an abortion, and the other time she had a miscarriage after the baby fell out of her cavernous, porn-star sized vagina. (times of london)

ROBERT PATTINSON – tells Details magazine, “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas.” Hopefully this mean he’s gay. In fact if every guy better looking than me would go gay, that would be terrific. (popeater)

AMANDA BYNES – has gone black. On twitter she wrote that she prefers chocolate to vanilla, possibly alluding to Kid Cudi. Although she’s never admitted to dating him. Is she worried about being black balled? If so that would be ironic. (huffington post)

CHARLOTTE CHURCH – better not try to fly Southwest. (source of her this weekend in Dubai = flynet)

BAM!

By brendon April 09, 2007 @ 9:31 AM

In what must be some type of editing error, the Daily Mail says, “Glowing with health and showing off her changing figure, this is Charlotte Church taking pregnancy in her stride.  The 21-year-old TV presenter, who is four months pregnant, is enjoying a no-expense-spared holiday in Thailand with a gaggle of female friends”.  So either the British are completely bat-shit crazy or that entire intro was written while snickering, because Charlotte Church is a butter-based lump and she looks disgusting.  If that’s even her.  It might also be John Goodman.  Picture 2 appears to show the villain from a kabuki play.