09.16.2011 DWTS is a really sexy show

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On one hand, pairing Lacey Schwimmer, who has seemingly quadrupled in size since last year, with Chaz Bono, who has not quadrupled in size since last year but was this fat to begin with, on the new season of Dancing With The Stars has disaster written all over it because there is no possible chance they could ever win a show about sexy dancing.

On the other hand, putting them together concentrates the ugly fatties within one couple instead of splitting them up and dragging down two couples. So really they should probably do this kind of thing every season.

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09.08.2011 DWTS will be sexy and/or uncomfortable

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Elisabetta Canalis and Chastity Chaz Bono finished up rehearsals for Dancing With The Stars yesterday, and Holy Crap. I know Chaz isn’t technically a girl anymore, but that point is made extra clear when being near Elisabetta. Actually it’s hard to believe these two are even from the same planet.

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09.01.2011 this fat girl is nothing but a trouble maker

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“Chaz” Bono was of course named as one of the contestants on this seasons ‘Dancing With The Stars’, and there’s been nothing but controversy about it ever since. Which is obviously exactly what the producers wanted when they choose someone who is morbidly obese and would have a heart attack after a long conversation much less a dance class.

USA Today says..

Dancing fans have posted both supportive and unsupportive comments about Chaz. One used the word “disgusting” Another wrote: “I never and mean NEVER watch DWTS but will this season to support/vote for (Chaz).”
One Million Moms, a group whose goal is to fight the “filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media,” is urging people to “Email ABC Network and let them know that we will not tolerate these subjects being forced into our homes.” A note on the group’s site says the casting of Chaz Bono and Carson Kressley “is completely unacceptable and Christians should not watch the show, no excuses!”

I hope those people realize they’re not helping their cause any because they sound just as dumb as the people defending “Chaz”. If she wants to tell everyone she’s a boy now, I don’t really give a fuck. She can call herself King of the Dinosaurs and only speak by saying “rawr rawr” for all I care, I just don’t think I should be forced to play along with titles bestowed upon her by the voices in her head.

And she still doesn’t have a penis, so I’m not even really sure what’s changed. Facial hair doesn’t make someone a boy. It probably just means she’s Italian.


01.24.2011 Chastity Bono wants to look like Michael Chiklis

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One time a friend came up and said he was changing his name to Bo and we should all call him Bo now. Needless to say we told him to fuck off and that was the end of that.

In a related story, Chastity Bono has a new documentary about her sex change surgery, which has allowed her to go from a fat girl with a terrible haircut to a fat girl with a terrible haircut in the mens room. E! says…

Chaz Bono may have been born a girl, but he always felt he was a boy.
“I’ve hated my body since puberty,” he says in Becoming Chaz, a documentary about his female-to-male transition.
In fact, Bono reveals that as a little girl he would go to sleep at night “praying [he'd] wake up as a boy.”

Wow. A teenager unhappy with the way they look. OK, I take it all back, clearly this case is one in a million.

He talks openly about his recovery from substance abuse, his sex life and his relationship with longtime girlfriend Jenny Elia. Oh, and wait till you see the couple’s hairless cats.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod, please be talking about actual cats.

Bono also says he’d love to have a body like actor…Michael Chiklis! “I’m never going to be a little guy,” he says.

Obviously this girl has a profound mental illness; chopping off your penis and saying you’re a woman is like chopping off your legs and saying you’re a plant. No, you’re not. You’re a crazy person. If people really wanted to help they’d get her therapy, not cuff links, but, whatever. It’s her life, not mine. National Signing Day is two weeks away and LSU needs a linebacker, I have real problems to worry about, I don’t have time for her nonsense.

12.30.2009 the top 100 stories of 2009 (51-100)

All the dumb websites and magazines and TV shows do lists at the end of the year, counting down and ranking everything you can imagine, and they’re all subjective and poorly thought out and painful to read. But nothing else is going on this time of year, and so here we go.

100. JASMINE FIORE WAS MURDERED - by her husband, who was a contestant on the VH1 show ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’. He pulled out her teeth, cut off her fingers and threw her body in a dumpster. So at least he wasn’t a litterbug. (August 15th)

99. MICHAEL JACKSON DIED - This one should probably be higher on the list but fuck that dude. He was a pedophile and his music sucked. Good riddance weirdo. (June 25th)

98. SUSAN BOYLE IS AN OVERNIGHT STAR - Does it bother anyone that she can’t really sing? After the first 5 lines on her famous ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ appearance her voice completely went to hell. What do you, got asthma or somethin? (April 11th)

97. LINDSAY LOHAN SUCKS - The reviews for the debut of her fashion line could have been worse, but only if they included a bunch of racist name calling for some reason. (October 4th)

96. BRITNEY SPEARS IS STACKED - Britney wore a see-thru t-shirt while in Australia for her ‘Circus’ tour. It maybe wasn’t as newsworthy as Michael Jackson dying, but what can I say, I just really love looking at girls’ tits. (November 5th)


Read more >

06.17.2009 Chasity is too fat for a sex change

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I can’t see one single reason, from a physical stand point, why Chastity Bono would have been unhappy in life as a woman. She gave being a girl her best shot, it just didn’t work out, so now it’s time to saw off her breasts and sew up her clitoris. Or is it?  Dun Dun Dun….

The first photos of Chaz Bono have surfaced since the daughter of legendary singing duo Sonny and Cher began hormonal treatment in preparation for a sex change.
While the transgender offspring of the two pop icons has not changed much in terms of physical appearance, sources close to the author/musician say she may have to lose weight in order to proceed with the surgery.

To be clear, it’s not a health risk to have the surgery at this weight, it’s just that the operating table was made of steel for some reason instead of a solid slab of unbreakable rock that fell here from space.

(story source = fox news. image source = splash news online)