Chelsea Handler Has a Brand New Old Bag

By Lex February 26, 2015 @ 9:41 AM

Chelsea Handler Bare Boobs On Whitney Cummings
Give Chelsea Handler some credit. When people stopped looking, she mixed things up. Change or die. Shove your mams in Whitney Cumming’s face. It’s fresh. A couple comedienne sevens gay baiting Instagram during their respective forever hiatuses from television. Next pic she’s titty fucking the new Ray Lewis statue or I’m canceling my subscription again.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Chelsea Handler Tits Are The New Measles

By Lex February 18, 2015 @ 9:12 AM

Chelsea Handler Flashes A Topless Pic During Mardi Gras
Whatever is compelling Chelsea Handler to flash her tits around the globe, it’s simply not going to stop. The laugh track backed comedian has a contingency whereby even if she is killed, thousands of these topless photos get distributed through a dispersed network of loyalist Nancies on Twitter. It’ll be the day we all come together and agree it’s time the Internet was shut down and buried in a subterranean cave for the talking apes to discover in the next millennium.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Chelsea Handler Titty Yawns

By Matt February 13, 2015 @ 7:42 AM


I never really thought I’d grow tired of a halfway attractive woman’s exposed tits but the moment has come. There just aren’t that many ways to make a slightly haggard pair of tits appealing, whether parading them on back of a camel or screening Rocky Horror Picture Show on them in a park for charity. Chelsea Handler is being applauded by the women’s liberation movement, who are no doubt simultaneously angry at her objectification. It’s like pissing on the lawn while you say some blowhard shit about water conservation. Never liked Handler. No longer like her tits. If you’re out of ideas it’s time to hang them up sister.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Chelsea Handler Just Stopped Trying

By Lex February 11, 2015 @ 11:25 AM

Chelsea Handler Flashes Bra
If your backup plan is flashing tits on social media, you can’t just drop down the ladder to bra peeks. It’s like Tom Brady deciding touchdown passes are overrated. You’ve got another year before you can occupy your audience of cackling hens with plugged celebrity interviews. If you’re going to run out of ideas, run out of ideas with your tits out and some rapper flashing his gold caps behind you. It’s called entertainment value. Take tonight to think about this then come back tomorrow with your shirt off. Or don’t come back. That’s sexist and honest so by definition not offensive.

Photo Credit: Instagram/”Chelsea Lately Show” E!

Chelsea Handler Pasties On A Camel

By Lex January 29, 2015 @ 8:27 AM

Chelsea Handler Pasties On A Camel
Best I can tell some Make-A-Wish kid asked to see Chelsea Handler’s tits. Maybe after he was told he couldn’t suffocate a white rhino with his Phantom Menace pillow. That’s the most popular wish. Those kids really fucking hate endangered species. Seeing a famous person’s tits isn’t such a bad second choice, though the drugs have to be playing a large role in selecting Chelsea Handler. I’d ask for Michelle Obama because I love really awkward situations. And Michelle Obama. Meow.

Photo Credit: Instagram

50 Cent Backs Chelsea Handler’s ‘Notice Me, Goddamit’ Campaign

By Lex December 30, 2014 @ 8:18 AM

50Cent Fully Supports Ex Girlfriend Chelsea Handlers Topless Photos
50 Cent backed his former slag in posting topless photos on social media pretending it’s a form of political protest and not an obvious attention grab. It’s just nice to see a rapper blindly supporting the only chick he used to bang who didn’t produce a financial anchor baby. Chelsea Handler is longing for the spotlight like almost no celebrity who’s left the stage before her. It’s post tit pics or gruesome suicide. Obviously, she has chosen to ignore my advice.

Photo Credit: Instagram