Chris Brown and Rihanna are in Miami this weekend of course, and that bitch better mind her manners unless she wants another one of these. 

(image source = mavrix online)

Less than three weeks ago, Chris Brown beat up Rihanna on their way home from a party the night before the Grammys.  When he got done with her, she looked like this, and her injuries were described like this:

There were major contusions on both sides of the singer's face — there is serious swelling and bruising. Her lip is split and her nose bloody … there are bite marks on one of her arms and on several fingers … Rihanna claims Brown struck her with his fists … she refused treatment at the scene, but before she left cops took photos. We're told the photos alone are "devastating proof of abuse."



Despite all that, Star magazine reported eleven days later that Rihanna had started talking to Brown again and was hoping to reconcile.

To the shock of many, the singer has stayed in touch with her battering beau and her unhealthy devotion to him is making those close to the abused singer worried sick.  "She keeps saying she wants to make sure that he's okay," a friend tells Star. "She thinks this will all just blow over and they can go back to how they were."

Now, People is reporting, and TMZ is confirming, that Rihanna has taken Brown back.

"They're together again. They care for each other," says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean "Diddy" Combs's homes, on Miami Beach's Star Island. Adds the source: "While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves … They've reached out to each other. It's been mutual."

Oh yeah this is gonna end well.  He beat her ass in front of the entire world and three weeks later she's back for more. In two months she's gonna be dialing 911 with her nose because she's tied up or that’s all she can move.

Rihanna Daily says that Ri has now left Punta Mita, Mexico, after spending Tuesday and Wednesday there to celebrate her 21st … wait, "Punta"?  Really?  Doesn’t that mean, you know, "vagina"?  Those Mexicans are perverts, but that’s a good way to get people to visit your city.  If we had a place called Titty Town, I would very definitely go there, to see the local high school mascots and cheerleaders if nothing else.  

Also, Media Take Out says there are rumors that Chris Brown will claim that he beat up Rihanna in self-defense.  MTO says…

Chris is already building his case. He's saying she threw a phone at him, then hit him in the head and basically just lost it. He's saying she attacked him.

Brown beat the hell out of that poor girl (reminder) so even if what he's claiming is 100 percent true, fuck him.  You can’t just re-label something as something else and that makes it okay.  Except for filming prostitution and calling it porn.  Then it’s nice and legal.  

(brendon fans out a stack of hundreds.  "Don’t I know it, heh heh heh.")

Star magazine says that Rihanna thought she was pregnant with Chris Browns baby in the days leading up to their fight, but she never told him because she thought he might react badly.  Which makes sense considering he punched her in the eye just for throwing his keys.  

Rihanna consulted an ob-gyn at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after confiding to close friends that she suspected she was pregnant with Chris' baby.
(During the visit to the doctor, she was) wearing sunglasses and dressed in all black, she appeared nervous and upset. "She was extremely fidgety. She seemed totally uncomfortable."

It’s possible of course she was at the ob-gyn because she was pregnant but it could have been other things too.  After we had sex for the first time my girlfriend told me the vagina will seal back up overnight sometimes and you have to have surgery to reopen it but the surgery is real expensive.  That’s why she hangs out with that dude Marco so much.  He'll come over and pick her up then drive her all over town and pay for all her drinks so she can save up and have sex with me again.  Ha, what a sucker that guy is!

Every business that has anything to do with Chris Brown has dumped his sorry ass since he beat the hell out of his girlfriend Rihanna three weeks ago.  Now Sony Pictures is running the other way too.  Brown had completed work on a movie called "Bone Deep", starring Paul Walker and Matt Dillon.  Word is that Sony is erasing him from any and all promotion materials.  He will still be in the movie as of now, just not in any advertising or trailers.  

I called Chris to ask him about this, and of course my first question was, how can you beat up a girl.  And he said, well you have to aim lower because they’re short.  And I said that’s not really what I meant.

Yikes.  TMZ got the first pic of Rihanna in the hospital after Chris Brown knocked her around on February 8th.   Pic sort of speaks for itself.  She should date someone like me.  I'm sweet as honey.