“Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you.”

By brendon February 16, 2012 @ 2:14 PM

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It usually goes without saying that a guy won’t get mad during a date and slam the girls face into a car window, but with Chris Brown you never know, because he does that kind of thing, so he’s figured out a clever way to put his new ladies at ease.

Chris Brown — who pleaded guilty in 2009 for felony assault for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna — confidently approached an attractive brunette and asked her, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!” the woman tells Us Weekly.
“He and his friends laughed, then one yelled, ‘That’s his new line!’ Ugh! I wanted to throw up!”
Counters Brown’s rep: “I’d be surprised if Chris said something that stupid.”

You would be? Why? Chris Brown says shit that stupid all the time. And women need to understand that his pick-up lines are not legally binding contracts, so he still can beat you. And he will. And then it’s just your word against his in regards to your gentleman’s agreement.

Chris Brown is a real tough guy

By brendon February 15, 2012 @ 5:51 PM

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Chris Brown went on his twitter with a message for everyone who thought it was inappropriate for him to return and perform on the Grammys, and according to MTV, that message was to fuck off. Or maybe it’s not, I can barely even read this. All I can tell for sure from dipshits posting is that the Grammy is very definitely not an award for Grammer.

Rihanna and her blond hair partied with Chris Brown

By brendon February 06, 2012 @ 4:05 PM

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Rihanna dyed her hair blond and put on her sluttiest top last night, then headed to Greystone Manor, which sounds like a haunted bed and breakfast, but is actually a club in West Hollywood. And there are reports (based mostly on this twitter) that she was there with Chris Brown, which will only help fuel the rumor that they’re back together.

Rihanna hasn’t said anything publicly about that yet, which could mean it’s simply not true, or that she’s been trying to signal for help in a code we’re not picking up on.

(image source = pacific coast, splash)

it’s the best Rihanna picture ever

By brendon January 12, 2012 @ 4:56 PM

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When Chris Brown saw these pictures of Rihanna at a Clippers game last night, and that cheerleader with a hot ass right in front of her, he joked, “I’d hit that”. That guy’s a real jerk.

(image source = splash)

Chris Brown was banned from England

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 2:22 AM

Chris Brown was expected to perform at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in England on Saturday, but he was denied a work visa due to the assault conviction he got after beating up Rihanna. Another red flag was that his stated purpose was to honor someone who got little boys drunk and sodomized them.

(wonderwall)

Lindsay Lohan is trolling for friends on twitter

By brendon August 30, 2011 @ 2:16 PM

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Lindsay Lohan wasn’t invited to the MTV Video Music Awards this year (which is amazing considering that she actually hosted the movie awards in 2004) and so the closest she can get to any real celebrities these days is with her TV and her twitter. So that’s why after Chris Brown took the stage, she wrote

@ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs

Which the desperate-for-approval Brown promptly re-tweeted, and led the desperate-for-friends Lohan to reply

@chrisbrown wanna meet?

Um, she does realize we can all see this right? This isn’t her own personal message system. She might not because she also follows this Chris Brown, who doesn’t follow her back so they don’t seem to know each other. So I’m assuming she followed the wrong one. It’s sort of stunning to see how dumb she is. It’s to the point now where you wonder how she manages to feed and clothe herself.