Chris Brown is trying hard to make amends

By brendon November 18, 2010 @ 9:34 PM

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Chris Brown has been, rightfully, one of the most hated figures in Hollywood ever since he beat Rihanna until she was almost unconscious. Before that night he was a guy who everyone generally liked, and since that night he has said time and again how sorry he was and that he would do everything possible to make up for his mistake.

And, apparently, he really meant it.

Brown was in an LA courtroom today to face Judge Patricia Schnegg as he nears the end of his probation, and it’s safe to say she was impressed.

“Of all probationers I’ve ever had, and I’ve had thousands of probationers, no one has ever done a better or more consistent job than you have,” Schnegg said. “And I really want to commend you for taking responsibility, and for actually working diligently to complete all of the things the court has required of you.”
“You’ve done a very good job.”

Well… shit. What can you say. What he did is horrible, and it should follow him forever, but, he’s clearly trying at least. That’s all you can ask out of anybody, right? That’s more than most guys with anger issues do. You know Andy Richter? He has a secret ranch in Mexico where he releases prostitutes, then hunts them down with a bow and arrow. True Story!

more horrific Rihanna abuse pictures are for sale

By brendon October 15, 2010 @ 11:45 AM

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As everyone knows, the picture in the headline is Rihanna on February 8, 2009, a few hours after she was riding home from the Grammys with her boyfriend Chris Brown. He got a text from a girl, they had a fight, and he

“shoved her head against the passenger window… (She) turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand (and) continued to punch her in the face… The assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.”

As awful as that picture is, it’s always been well known that it’s actually one of the most flattering ones, and that Browns worst fear was that some of the really bad ones would get out. But I bet Rihannas worst fear was having her boyfriend shove her face into a fucking window, so…

Never-before-seen images of a battered Rihanna have leaked.
Radar has seen the four images that were offered to this site for publication. We declined.
The photos were taken in a Los Angeles emergency room where Rihanna was being treated after she was assaulted. (She is) pictured with large welts above each of her eyebrows, marks on both of her cheeks and a split lip.
The most graphic photo is a close-up; her left eye bloodied and bruised, with four lesions on her face and multiple cuts on her bottom lip.
A ruler is being held up which shows the reddish swelling to span two inches – from the bottom of her eye almost all the way down to her mouth.
In another image, Rihanna is shown pulling her busted lips apart to show numerous lacerations on the inside of her mouth.
There appears to be at least five major cuts on the inside of her lips.

I hope these get out. Chris Brown beat his girlfriend until she was almost unconscious. He’s a piece of shit and he deserves to have this haunt him every single day for the rest of his life. At this point his best bet is to just kill himself and roll the dice that he gets reincarnated as a popular singer again.

wednesday headlines

By brendon July 14, 2010 @ 11:23 AM

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RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN - might be reconciling. “It’s been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She’d never seen him like that before.” Well then I guess he’s changed. Punching girls in the face was probably just a fad he went through, like snap bracelets or acid wash. (celebuzz)

KATE GOSSELIN - sounds so delusional I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic. On the topic of dating again, a source says, “Kate’s confidence is amazing. She thinks she is a fantastic catch. Not only does she think she has never looked better, Kate also now has a ton of money. As far as she’s concerned, there is nothing not to like. She’s beautiful, rich and thinks of herself as very easy to get along with.” Nothing not to like? How about a vagina that probably looks like something hanging out of a buzzards mouth because more kids have passed through it than the gates at Disneyland. (popeater)

PENELOPE CRUZ AND JAVIER BARDEM - secretly got married earlier this month in the Bahamas after dating for the past 3 years. The story would have broken sooner but these two are so god damned dull everyone kept falling asleep when they tried to write it. (e!)

ANNALYNN MCCORD - went to the Hollywood premier of “Inception” last night in this awesome dress. And although she’s great she might want to avoid this color from now on. With the way her ribs stick out she looks like a sexy greyhound. (wenn, getty)

chris brown used eye drops to fake cry at the bet awards

By brendon July 01, 2010 @ 12:09 PM

Chris Brown was a big story this week because instead of singing a song like he was supposed to Sunday night at the BET awards, he wandered around stage like an asshole and cried. And for some inexplicable reason he got good press out of that.

Until now at least.

An insider tells Us magazine the crying was fake. Before he took the stage, one of Brown’s bodyguards gave the singer tear-inducing eye drops.
Brown’s rep denies it (but) the witness says Brown definitely used drops. “He rubbed it in and he started crying.”

Hahaha, you suck Chris Brown. Of course he faked it. That dork cried from start to finish and sang like 10 words. People can still sing while they’re crying. Tears aren’t made of poison, you can still open your mouth and say stuff. If you don’t believe me ask my ex about breaking up with me. She couldn’t hear everything of course because I was lying under her tires so she couldn’t leave and mostly screaming, but I think she got the gist of it.

chris brown is a real hero

By brendon June 29, 2010 @ 12:43 PM

Chris Brown was back in the news yesterday, and not because he…

…took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.
“(Rihanna) turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused (her) mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.”

No this time it was because he cried like a little girl with a broken arm Sunday night at the BET awards during a tribute to Michael Jackson. With that in mind, MTV asked around to see if his tears over a completely unrelated topic will somehow make people forget what he did to Rihanna. Alicia Quarles, Associated Press entertainment editor, said…

“You forget what a good performer he is. I think over the past year, so much has been overshadowing that, from his album not selling to him claiming record stores are boycotting him to him being denied entry into Europe. You forget that he’s a triple threat.
Everybody is talking about Chris Brown, and it’s about doing something positive for once.”

Erik Parker, who wrote a cover story on Brown for Vibe, added…

“I think people didn’t want to hear words from him. I don’t think they wanted to hear the words ‘I’m sorry,’. He couldn’t say anything enough; he had to prove it. For people to accept it, they had to first make him pay for it somehow, meaning put him through the wringer and get out all the anger they feel toward him. But he was unable to articulate how truly sorry he felt with just his words.”

Wait what? He was crying about Michael Jackson. What does that have to do with being sorry for beating the shit out of Rhianna. I can’t get over how many girls are ready to forgive this piece of shit. I need to start dating black girls. For one they’re often skinny with huge tits, but more to the point, at least according to this, as long as I don’t set them on fire they seem pretty easy going.

chris brown cries like a girl

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 3:18 PM

Chris Brown performed a Michael Jackson tribute last night at the BET Awards, though a more accurate way to describe it would be to say that he cried uncontrollably while wandering aimlessly around the stage. What an asshole this guy is. This was supposed to be an entertainment extravaganza. Way to waste everyone’s time dickhead. Be a professional for Christs sake. Poor sweet Chris was so sad about the pedophile that he couldn’t sing any of Michaels shitty music that doesn’t stand the test of time anyway so who gives a shit. To be honest I got a little choked up too, but then I remembered I wasn’t a little girl holding my dolly and watching ‘Bridge to Terabithia’.