Chris Brown Ruined New Year’s From Rehab

January 3, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The staff at Malibu Anger Rehab allows in-patients a half-hour on the villa’s front lawn each day to recreate as they please. Most end up gnawing viciously on the grass and cursing out their whore-bitch of a mother cunt, Chris Brown let his girlfriend chew on his tongue for a New Year’s photo. Chris told […]

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Chris Brown Is All Better Now

December 24, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

When the majority of people in America and maybe even around the world think that you’re a colossal asshole, it’s generally going to take a lot of PR spin and goodwill to change those minds. But now that Chris Brown has been ordered by a judge to work on his anger management and he’s done […]

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Michael Buble is Not So Good at Telling Jokes

December 20, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I was ¬†going to ask who the fuck watches the Michael Buble Christmas Special, now in its third year of providing banal entertainment to the elderly and infirmed (I guess I just answered my own question). The better question is who writes the monologue he has to uncomfortably deliver at the beginning of the show? […]

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R. Kelly Thinks Chris Brown Is Jesus

December 11, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

R. Kelly came to the defense of fellow creepy singer Chris Brown by comparing him to Muhammed Ali, Martin Luther King, and Jesus Christ. Kelly was giving an interview for his new album Black Panties when the subject of his many controversies came up. You know, like him peeing on underaged girls on sex tapes […]

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Chris Brown Denied Weed In Rehab

November 28, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Chris Brown is having a little bit of trouble adjusting to anger management rehab. The reason? They took his weed away. It seems that Chris got into an altercation with the staff when they wouldn’t let him carry his dank stash into the facility. You know, since they’re pretending it’s rehab and all. He agreed […]

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Chris Brown Ordered to Rehab for Being Thrown Out of Rehab

November 22, 2013 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I remember voting in favor of ballot initiatives in California that send non-violent drug arrests to rehab instead of prison. I guess I didn’t read the fine print that said violent celebrity offenders also included. Chris Brown got kicked out of rehab for throwing a rock through the window of his mom’s car because she […]

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Anger Rehab Made Chris Brown So Angry

November 21, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’d think that violent outbursts in Anger Rehab were pretty common. Sort of like counselors discovering Courtney Love’s special rehab pillow cases were made entirely out of edible Oxycodone. Just a by-product of the environment. Apparently not so according to TMZ (who now uses ALL CAPS for emphasis since hiring teams of pre-menstrual high school […]

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Chris Brown Is Already Done With Anger Rehab

November 15, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Singer Chris Brown checked himself into rehab on October 29 after he was accused of assaulting a man in Washington DC, and he had agreed to voluntarily spend up to three months as a patient at a Malibu facility in order to get to the bottom of his rage and violence issues. But fuck all […]

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Chris Brown Sues Woman Suing Him Because He’s Bored

November 14, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

From deep within his Anger Management rehab lair in Malibu, Chris Brown is still effectively managing his personal empire like a stalwart mafia don on the inside. Step one, sue some opportunistic chick who’s suing him for knocking her to the ground at a nightclub last summer. Chris claims he’s innocent. To clear his good […]

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Chris Brown’s Fury Ruined Halloween

November 1, 2013 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Two night club Halloween parties canceled. One in L.A., one in Vegas. All thanks to mini-maestro Chris Brown and his fists of uncontrollable rage. I can’t imagine the disappointment of thinking you’re heading to a Chris Brown Halloween Party only to have Chris check himself into Bruce Banner rehab in Malibu. That sucks. No Chris […]

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