Chris Brown Wants to Understand Why People Get Upset When He Hits Them

October 31, 2013 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You may remember that last time Chris Brown went to anger management counseling, he learned that he can’t be leaving visible marks on his bitches when he gets to feeling like a boiling teapot. But that was court appointed counseling. In the manner of the new celebrity justice S.O.P., Chris Brown has checked himself into […]


Tyson Tells Chris Brown To Stop Punching People

October 30, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Chris Brown was let out of prison today after beating on a guy in D.C.  We told you yesterday about the incident in which Brown and his bodyguard kicked some dude’s ass outside of the W Hotel for trying to photobomb a picture Chris Brown was taking with a skank fan. The charges were lowered […]


Chris Brown Arrested For Assault…Again

October 28, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Hey, guess what Chris Brown was arrested for doing? If you said assault then you are correct! This time he was arrested for beating up some dude outside of the W Hotel in D.C. Witnesses say that the guy tried to put his face into a photo Chris was taking with some skank outside the […]


Nobody Cares That Chris Brown Was Raped

October 15, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chris Brown’s revelation last week that he first had sex at age eight created buzz for about five seconds then nobody cared. Except for the rape culture people who care about shit like this, because it’s actually kind of important, if you remove the name Chris Brown from the equation. Lily Rothman even wrote a […]


Chris Brown Says People Hate Bieber Because They’re Racist

October 8, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Professional asshole Chris Brown came to the defense of his BFF Justin Bieber by saying that the reason people hate Justin is because of racism. They are hating on Bieber for hanging out with cool black people…like Chris Brown. According to Brown, Bieber-scorn has nothing to do with the Canadian midget being late to concerts, […]


Chris Brown Called That Time He Beat Up Rihanna A ‘Wake-Up Call’

October 7, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

In a new interview with The Guardian, Chris Brown opens up about a lot of aspects of his life, from his claim that he lost his virginity at age 8 so he could get started on becoming the greatest sexual being this world has ever known to his belief that the media makes everything up […]


Justin Bieber And Chris Brown Are Best Friends

September 6, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber posted the above photo to his Instagram account yesterday, showing off the new graffiti art that Chris Brown sprayed for his half pipe, while calling the guy who bounced Rihanna‘s face off of a car window “super dope.” These two have been friends for a while, which might actually explain a lot about […]


Chris Brown Says The LA DA Is Racist

August 24, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Everyone’s favorite woman beating dickhole, Chris Brown, is accusing the LA County DA of racism for not accepting his bogus community service forms. It seems that the “singer” fudged some of his community service hours and the DA was all like, “Nuh uh. I call bullshit Chris Brown!”, and he was all like, “Hell yes, […]


Drake And Chris Brown Don’t Have To Pay Shit To Club

July 23, 2013 | Uncategorized | editor| 0 Comments

A judge threw out a lawsuit aimed at feuding hip hop assmunches Drake and Chris Brown. A company called Entertainment Enterprises (that’s vague and porny enough) sued the dimwits for 16 million dollars after they got into a massive brawl and tore up… a completely different club. Entertainment Enterprises owns a club called Greenhouse which […]


Chris Brown Partied With Playboy Models (VIDEO)

July 17, 2013 | video | editor| 0 Comments

On one hand, it’s probably the least surprising revelation of the year that when told Monday that his probation was revoked and that he’d have to appear in court in August to face possible jail time, Chris Brown went and partied at the Playboy Mansion one night later. I don’t really blame him, either, because […]