The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models Continue To Have The Roughest Lives

By Travis February 24, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Continuing their ongoing month of celebration for the fact that they’ve remained relevant in the face of several decades of internet pornography, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue models competed in a volleyball tournament against some other celebrities over the weekend at the Food Network South Beach Food and Wine Festival. Most notably, Jamie Foxx was there to remind everyone that he once won an Oscar, and probably to hit on Chrissy Teigen, Hannah Ferguson, Samantha Hoopes, Kate Bock, Lily Aldridge and the many other models, because he’s simply a man with a penis and needs. But then Richard Sherman showed up, and everyone probably held their purses a little tighter and quietly tried to dial 911 on their phones through their pockets, all while he rescued a kitten from a tree and helped build a house for a homeless family while teaching them all how to read.

Photo Credits: JLN Photography/

Chrissy Teigen In A Bikini Top And Cutt Offs At The Beach In Miami

By Lex February 21, 2014 @ 3:47 PM

Chrissy Teigen In A Bikini Top And Cut Offs At The Beach In Miami

Photo Credit:

A Lot Of Really Attractive People Are Still Celebrating The Swimsuit Issue

By Travis February 19, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Sports Illustrated has been pulling out all of the stops to both promote and celebrate this year’s swimsuit issue, because they consider this 50th anniversary issue to be a huge milestone. Is it a milestone because this magazine has thrived for so long despite the complaints of prudes and so-called feminists who don’t give a shit that women wear bikinis every single day of the year? Maybe. Is it a milestone because once the internet was invented and porn became about as readily available as sunlight nobody should have given a crap about whether or not Chrissy Teigen’s nipple might be visible between her fingers on her hand bra? Probably. Whichever the case may be, models from Nina Agdal to Christie Brinkley celebrated the issue last night, and it says enough that these girls can even make standing in front of trash cans and piles of sludge look hot.

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Three Asses, Six Tits, One SI Cover

By Lex February 14, 2014 @ 3:30 PM

Nina Agdal Lily Aldridge And Chrissy Teigen Butts On The Cover Of The 50th Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

Sports Illustrated has done it this time. The once heralded leader in sports news coverage has gone and put not one, but three models on the cover of their 50th anniversary edition. When you consider the exponential work involved in Photoshopping not one, but three models in the same photo, you’ll understand that some underpaid pale dudes in a dark New York studio have some carpal tunnel flaring up fierce today. I’m not sure these girls were ever even on the same island for this group shot. I think one of them is using their high school year book photo morphed with the arms of a dead Australian long jumper. Two of these girls are actually men. If airbrushing tits were a sport, SI would be ESPN.

You can see the girls screaming and crying about their cover news HERE.

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

Chrissy Teigen Has Nice Boobs

By Lex January 14, 2014 @ 1:36 PM

Chrissy Tiegen Shows Off Her Cleavage Leaving A Golden Globes After Party In West Hollywood
Chrissy Teigen got tons of people pissed off at the holidays when she posted a video of her husband choking her out as a Christmas card joke. Some people don’t find spousal abuse a subject for mirth and merriment. I think it’s hilarious. Especially when you’re fake choking somebody and things goes horribly wrong and they end up dead and you’re charged with murder. That is the real knee slapper. To divert attention, Chrissy showed off her boobs a lot. It really is a Get Out of Jail Free Card. Jodi Arias is going to fry in Arizona for playing the innocent covered up librarian bit. Whip out those honkers and flash the jury an eyeful. Nobody wants to put nice tits to death.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

Chrissy Teigen Took A Stroll In The East Village

By Travis October 01, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Call me overprotective and safe, but I don’t think that supermodels should ever walk around in any big city by themselves, or without the protection of large men who know how to kill with their bare hands. For example, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen took a casual stroll through the East Village yesterday, and naturally she was quickly surrounded by guys who think she’d ever even remotely consider having sex with them. In order for these perverts to even stand a chance, Chrissy would have to come down with the worst case of amnesia ever recorded and then not step foot anywhere near a mirror. Because she doesn’t need a memory to look at a mirror and then one of these guys and say, “Yeah, fuck off.”

(Photo Credits: Alberto Reyes/