Christina Aguilera just keeps getting fatter

By brendon November 19, 2012 @ 4:54 PM

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It may look like Cristina Aguilera performed one of her new songs last night in LA at the American Music Awards, but all you could hear was her stomach rumbling and a series of oinking sounds. I have no idea if that was intentional or not.

(image source = getty)

Shakira is replacing Christina Aguilera on ‘the Voice’

By brendon September 18, 2012 @ 7:52 PM

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Usher and Shakira will replace Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green for the fourth season of ‘the Voice’, though it’s said to be a temporary move so Aguilera can go on tour and Green can record a new album. But maybe it won’t be for one season. Maybe it will be permanent. Or maybe it won’t, look, why are you dragging me into this, I hate that stupid show.

(source = celebuzz)

I’m with you, Target Dog

By brendon September 17, 2012 @ 7:38 PM

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Christina Aguilera, who weighs 1800 pounds now, clomped down the red carpet at whatever the hell the NCLR ALMA Awards are this weekend and tried to give the Target dog a kiss, but he turned away because that would his “no fat chicks” policy. But he did seem interested in her purse. Gosh, I wonder why? No that’s not true. I don’t wonder why. We both know you’re hiding food in your purse Cristina Aguilera.

Christina Aguilera is against going hungry

By brendon August 01, 2012 @ 5:42 PM

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Christina Aguilera has filmed a new PSA about other countries getting some of our delicious American food, and believe it or not, she claims to be for it. In reality, the charity she did this for is run by Yum! Brands, which owns Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and KFC, so this was probably just a trick to infiltrate their company and find out where they hide the food.

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oh. hey Britney. what’s up.

By brendon June 27, 2012 @ 6:05 PM

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Britney Spears looked pretty terrific today during ‘X Factor’ auditions in Providence at the Dunkin Donuts Center. Her rival Christina Aguilera started to say something mean but all the talk about donuts made her hungry and she just mumbled something about how she’s been “to the center of like a billion Dunkin Donuts,” which wasn’t as insulting as she’d hoped.

(image source = splash, getty)

Christina Aguilera is 2 hours late to ‘the Voice’ almost every day

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 3:01 PM

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Christina Aguilera is a self-centered bitch with an impossible ego, so she truly doesn’t care if the entire cast and crew of ‘The Voice’ have to wait for her to arrive on set every day.

In fact she’s so apathetic that the producers started fining her for being late, which made absolutely no impact whatsoever.

“Christina is consistently about two hours late,” a source tells Radar. “For season three this has got to stop.”
“Whatever her fine is now doesn’t bother her.
“Higher-ups on the show want to raise it to a number that does bother her so she actually arrives on time.”

And once she arrives, she’s even more delightful. During rehearsals Monday night, fellow judge Adam Levine was so enchanted with her antics he called her “a fucking cunt” in front of nearly 70 people. Who probably responded by saying, “amen to that” and “truer words have never been spoken.”