Christina Aguilera looks… better?

By brendon April 04, 2012 @ 4:19 PM


Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler were at the Little Door in LA last night, and I guess you’d have to say she looks better than she has in a while. Or you could say she still looks fat. It’s your life, man, I can’t live it for you.

(image source = pacific coast)

Christina Aguilera is too fat for TV

By brendon February 06, 2012 @ 5:45 PM


They say the camera adds 10 pounds, meaning you look 10 pounds heavier on a TV show than you do in real life, which was a problem for Christina Aguilera since she gained 50 pounds all on her own before getting a TV show.

The good news is she’s finally taking action to look the way she used to. The bad news is that action is to tell the camera crew on ‘The Voice’ to hide how fat she is.

“Christina holds up pro­duction with her constant demands, saying, ‘Don’t make me look fat’ or ‘Don’t show my butt,’ ” a source tells the Enquirer.
“She’s insisted the cam­eramen only shoot her at flattering angles, forcing a few segments to be reshot. She also demands that the stylists bring her the latest slimming fashions, and she’s always ordering the makeup artists to make her face look thin­ner.”

Well it’s gonna take more than makeup and lighting to hide how fat she is. She’s so heavy now that one time they showed her sitting down and my TV fell off the wall.

Christina Aguilera menstruated down her leg

By brendon January 30, 2012 @ 5:15 PM


While singing at the funeral for Etta James over the weekend, something that looked like blood began dripping down Christina Aguileras leg. Her reps told AOL it was actually self-tanner, but I want to think about her spreading her legs and tanning her vagina even less than I want to think about her menstruating, so I’m just gonna stick with blood.

(image source = splash)

black is a slimming color

By brendon January 30, 2012 @ 12:17 PM


Christina Aguilera brought her son Max to Cirque du Soleil at the Staples Center in LA last night, but then left almost as soon as she arrived. “What kind of a bullshit circus doesn’t have fried candy bars and funnel cakes,” a source heard her say.

(image source = pacific coast)

Christina Aguilera is gettin me all hot

By brendon December 05, 2011 @ 3:06 PM


Christina Aguilera and her son Max went to buy a Christmas tree in West Hollywood this weekend, and for some inexplicable reason she wore tights that highlighted her lumpy, waddling ass when she did it. This could be footage in those local news stories they do every year about how people gain a lot of weight around the holidays.

(image source = inf and wenn)

Christina Aguileras still got it

By brendon November 21, 2011 @ 11:46 AM


A bandage dress is supposed to be a flattering dress that gives support and creates an hourglass figure. But Christina Aguilera is 90 percent cookies and cake, so the bandage dress she wore on the American Music Awards last night was no match for her fat stomach as it sloshed back and forth when she moved, like a drink in a big cup when you drive around corners. What she needs is actual bandages. As in the kind they wrap you in after 40 hours of liposuction.

(image source = getty)