kim kardashian and christina aguilera? sure why not.

By brendon June 14, 2010 @ 12:30 PM

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While in Miami this weekend, Kim Kardashian hooked up with Christina Aguilera at the pool, though not in the sexy way. They had lunch together and kind of hung out, and presumably art some point Kim screamed, “ahhhhhhWHATTHEFUCK!”

Why. Is Christina wearing so much makeup? This looks like she’s wearing one of those latex masks. I’d still have sex with her, but it would take every ounce of my virility and imagination. I’ve jacked off to a constellation before, but this would be my ultimate challenge.

“was left drenched in blood…”

By brendon September 22, 2009 @ 5:20 PM

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera and her mom, Shelly Kearns, are the focus of a new documentary on E!, and they talk candidly about why Kearns left Christinas father. It seems pretty reasonable. The Sun UK says…

A FOUR-year-old CHRISTINA AGUILERA was left drenched in blood after her father violently attacked her – for innocently disturbing his “nap”.
Shelly recalled: “I scooped her up and said, ‘Oh my God. What’s wrong?’
“She told me, ‘Daddy wanted to take a nap and I made too much noise.’”
The alleged horror incident was the final straw for Shelly, who packed up and fled the family home with Christina and her other daughter RACHEL.

Well, even though she did make too much noise, you shouldn’t beat kids until they’re soaked in blood. There’s better ways to deal with a kid who interrupts your nap. Cookies filled with poison, for example.

christina looks bouncy

By brendon March 30, 2009 @ 4:03 PM

Christina Aguilera’s breasts made an appearance in LA this weekend, followed a few seconds later by Christina herself.  Are these the greatest pictures ever taken?  Um, well, no actually, but they’re still pretty great.

(image source = pacific coast)

DAMN.

By brendon October 17, 2008 @ 10:48 AM

Christina Aguilera and her giant titties arrived in London earlier this week to perform at the Africa Rising concert, and the Daily Mail is wondering if her curves are a sign that she might be pregnant again.

Christina Aguilera was clearly keen to keep covered up from the British chill.
But the plucky singer still showed plenty of front, as her heaving bosom spilled forth from her tight-fitting coat.
The singer was seen leaving restaurant L'Atelier after a romantic dinner with husband Jordan Bratman at L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon restaurant in London’s Covent Garden last night.
In fact, even though she had her first child ten months ago, her bounteous appearance will do little dispel rumors that a second baby might be on the cards for the singer.

Don’t get me wrong, I'm pleased as punch that Christina Aguilera is showing off her huge rack again, but why isn’t she as hot as she used to be?  Is it the kid?  Is it because she had a kid?  I think it might be because she had a kid.  

I’ll get you for this Max.  You better watch your ass buddy.


THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE WHOLESOME

By brendon September 11, 2008 @ 9:24 AM

The Jonas Brothers have a lot to learn about being famous celebrities.  In fact everyone at the VMAs this year were pretty low key with the dressing room riders.  

(Christina Aguilera’s) demands reportedly included four black bath towels and a dressing room decked out with vanilla-scented candles, not to mention a space heater and two bottles of Verve Clique champagne to give her a little kick before the show.
The Jonas Brothers are said to have insisted on apple juice at room temperature for their backstage needs and added eight Red Bull Sugar free beverages, plus 6 regular Red Bulls and 24 pieces of California sushi rolls as part of their dressing room package.

These guys are fags.  I would have been like Alfred Molina in Boogie Nights.  High as fuck in just a bathrobe, a shirtless Japanese boy throwing fire crackers, peacocks, guns, sirens, some hot Asian girl with big tits dressed as a snow bunny.  Just total madness.  I like to think if I were famous I would request all that stuff.  I request that stuff now it's just no one gives it to me.  Fuckers.

PHOTO. SHOPPED.

By brendon August 07, 2008 @ 7:40 AM

The Internet is a magical place, where all your dreams can and do come true.  Especially if you’re dream is to see Christian Aguilera with tits photoshopped onto her.  For some reason this very old picture is everywhere today.  It's from March Fake of 200Fake.  Hey look, and this is Jessica Alba, TOTALLY NAKED!  Get it.  Do you see what I did there?