50. MADONNAS ARMS - As she approaches the end of her life, it’s good to know she’ll die as she lived; by creeping me the fuck out. (July 27th)
49. CALL OF DUTY 2 - made 310 million dollars in it’s first 24 hours. “The Dark Knight holds every Hollywood
speed record, and it took them 10 days to reach 300. So I guess in hindsight that movie was a real piece of shit.” (November 12)
48. MEGAN FOX IS BISEXUAL - If Megan Fox is getting more/better pussy than me I’m gonna kill myself. (May 13th)
47 and 46. CINDY CRAWFORD AND NICOLETTE SHERIDAN - Although a combined 99 years old, these two took some of the hottest bikini pictures all year. But just so you know, the topless Crawford pictures here are from 2008, because I can’t find the ones from 2009, and I don’t have time to download new copies. This god damn list is taking forever. What a terrible idea this was. (August 6th and August 3rd)
Read more >
Cindy Crawford and her husband Randy Gerber spent Thanksgiving with George Clooney (48) and his Italian model girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis (31) at Clooneys palatial resort home in Mexico. They lounged around in a hot tub drinking champagne, the girls prancing around in bikinis and warming their golden skin under the gentle sun.
When my penis saw all this, he compared it to our Thanksgiving in a small town in Tennessee, then called me a loser and questioned my sexuality by asking if I was some kind of “fag”. Then he said, “put up your dukes” and challenged me to a fight for his freedom.
(image source = splash news online and flynet online)
SHARON OSBOURNE - went on Opie and Anthony last week and said Susan Boyle looked like a “slapped ass”. Today she apologized, calling Boyle a “lovely gracious woman”. But then she added, “like a blue ribbon pig at the state fair”, so I’m not sure how this is helping. (facebook)
CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2 - was released Tuesday and in the first 24 hours it made $310 million. ‘The Dark Knight’ holds every Hollywood speed record, and it took that 10 days to reach 300. So I guess in hindsight that movie was a real piece of shit. (the ap)
CINDY CRAWFORD - was being extorted by a friend of her ex-nanny who claimed to have a picture of Crawfords daughter bound and gagged in a chair. The picture was taken by the nanny. The extortionist has been arrested and then deported back to his home in Germany. Where he’ll fit right in with the rest of the fetish perverts. (radar)
BLAKE LIVELY - really hates pants. She dresses like this all the time. Were her parents killed by a pair of pants or something?
Sting is kind of a pervert, so there’s at least a 50 percent chance he doesn’t have anything on under that towel. 75 percent if you go by Randy Gerbers reaction. But Stings wife is pretty hot for 55, so maybe I’d be naked too.
If you hadn’t done the math yet, Sting joined Cindy Crawford in St. Tropez. This is the yacht they’re on, by the way. It’s roughly twice the size of the high school I went to. With all the supermodels on yachts in St. Tropez going on, you may think their life is better than yours. And you would be right, it is. Not mine though. I’m a hunk!
(hq jump here. source = fame and splash)
So, um, I actually uploaded these pictures of Cindy Crawford in St. Tropez like 4 hours ago. And I thought I published them then. But I didn’t. Yaay! I hope this won’t sound like bragging, but I might be a genius. In fact several top scientists have asked me to wear a football helmet at all times so I don’t damage my precious, precious brain.
(5 more here. hq jump here. source = splash and fame)
One time on Opie and Anthony, Patrice O’Neal said, “A beautiful 35-year-old ain’t as as good lookin’ as an ugly 19-year-old.” And because that might be the most brilliant thing anyone anywhere has ever said ever, keep it in mind forever, but specifically when, oh hey look, it’s 43-year-old Cindy Crawford in LA today filming a commercial for Australian TV. It’s not that she looks bad, far from it, but … ya know. Megan Fox could be dead for 12 hours and I would still rather go down on her than do it with todays Cindy Crawford.
(image source = fame pictures)
