Alessandra Ambrosio In A Bikini Top At Coachella

By Lex April 21, 2014 @ 1:00 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Bikini Top At Coachella

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Kendall Jenner Was the Best of Coachella

By Lex April 14, 2014 @ 4:59 PM

Kendall Jenner Wears A Giant Nose Ring To Coachella
Ever since Tupac’ s hologram got turned off and everybody realized they had to go back to watching the still living shitty acts Coachella stages around their $8 bottled water concession booths, the Indie music and don’t forget arts festival has been running low on wow factor. You can only get away with so many Beyonce surprise guest appearance when she’s there every year. Surprise. Your grandma made an appearance at grandma’s house. A naked hologram of Beyonce would’ve been amazing, but nobody has the guts to piss off the corporate sponsors who become visibly moist at the thought of 100,000 college educated white ‘social influencers’ trapped in the desert. Whoever dresses the Kendall Jenner mannequin decided she could be a thing if only she had a distinctive look. So they borrowed Bruce Jenner’s cock ring which he mysteriously announced he no longer needed and hung it from Kendall’s right nostril like a Guernsey. The nose ring connected to her earring to form the international symbol of illiteracy. Kendall adored the attention though she did note the unusually low hanging hoop made completing the ‘must blow’ list her mom tucked into her front pocket that much more challenging.

Photo Credit: Getty

Audrina Patridge Looks Lost (That’s Her Secret)

By Lex April 14, 2014 @ 4:27 PM

Audrina Patridge Chesty In A Pantsuit At Coachella
Audrina Patridge is dumb as dirt. I think I can say that without being sued. I don’t really know her intellectual quotient, but I’d estimate it as being in the range of foam peanut packing. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be loved. Or to have her chest leered at when they air dropped her into Coachella and programmed her to smile and twirl her hair for three hours before returning to her LZ for pickup. She still got that Indio and Indian thing mixed up, but Audrina is always making lovable boners like that.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Tara Reid Is Still A Complete Mess

By Travis April 23, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Despite the fact that her latest film is called Sharknado and involves a tornado full of sharks, Tara Reid thinks that she is still a serious actress and that she should be treated as such when she shows up to places and demands a bunch of free shit. The American Pie star, seen above with another ghost of Hollywood past, reportedly needed a new outfit for Coachella last weekend, so she went to the All Saints store in Los Angeles to take care of that.

According to the NY Post, though, Tara left empty-handed because despite finding something she liked to fit in with the rest of the hipster D-list, she was thrown out of the store after screaming at employees who refused to give her a discount for being famous.

“She was screaming,” said a source. “She had to be escorted out by security. She seemed drunk.”

Come on, it’s Tara Reid. “Seemed drunk” is implied. Like if someone is talking about Amanda Bynes and says, “She was batshit crazy.” It’s just redundant.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Julianne Hough Is Possibly A Homewrecker

By Travis April 19, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

After breaking up with Ryan Seacrest recently, actress Julianne Hough spent the weekend unwinding and walking around in cutoff jean shorts at Coachella, where she conveniently danced and flashed her bra in front of the paparazzi. But now that she’s single, she’s being linked to various men from Leonardo DiCaprio (who totally can if he wants) to “a hunky Australian mystery man named Tommy“.

Of course, it’s not a good rumor unless it involves another woman’s man, and Life & Style says that she was shaking her ass all over Alex Pettyfer.

“Julianne and Alex were flirting a lot. She was drinking vodka cocktails all night and by midnight she was standing on the back of a couch with her friends, dancing like crazy and rubbing up against him.”

Pettyfer is engaged to Riley Keough, this is pretty fucked up if it’s true. All that matters, though, is that Hough needs to make a sex tape very soon, because that’s the only logical next step.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Ashley Benson Won The Coachella Costume Contest

By Travis April 15, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Coachella is a massive three-day music festival in California that showcases lineups of some of the most legendary music acts in the world, like the Wu-Tang Clan, which headlined this year to support its new album. Unfortunately, Coachella has become more famous for its celebrity sight-seeing, as B- and C-listers from Kate Bosworth to Julianne Hough can be spotted in the crowd pretending to be really into whatever bands are playing at the time that they’re pretending not to be posing for pictures.

Among the celebrities at Coachella 2013 was Spring Breakers star Ashley Benson (above right) who sometimes looks like this but chose to dress like that. I’m not saying that she should dress like she did in Spring Breakers for the rest of her life, but at least until she turns 30 so we get the best of her prime.

(Photo Credits: STS/WENN.com)