Coco Porn Props Her Baby (VIDEO)

If Coco hadn't been able to conceive a child forher best sex shoot prop ever, she would've had to purchase one in an Albanian bazaar. This fucking baby is the best thing that ever happened to thekumquat shapedmodel. Coco's photo and video work over the last four months consists of her with a string up her ass making kissy faces to her baby she named Chanel. Featuring your infant in your soft core porn work is the...read more

Coco Austin Cake and Titties

Coco and her husband the rapper and emasculated talk show host known as Ice-T have decided to name their baby Chanel in honor of how they think something else is spelled. To honor the by-product of their love, Coco invited all of her best friends together and let them eat cake while they stared at her tits. It's a Serbian thing and not the world's most horrible tradition. Legend holds if you tally up the visible veins...read more

Ice T Branding His Kid

Ice T just knocked up his wife whom he married to brag about her silicon ass to his friends. He's 57. She's a young 74. Icehas a few children from previously relationships. In fact he hit for the cycle and his grandson is in jail for shooting a dude with a stolen gun. It's unclear if Ice jerked off into a cup or onto her hair. When the kid is 16 he'll be Robocop. Don't worry about the math. Luckily rappers have a long...

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Coco Yoga Sister Beautiful, Meh, Maybe Incest (VIDEO)

Coco seems like a lot of fun. You just don't want that matrimonial contract with both your names on it. One day you look outside and your wife is rolling onto her sisters body in a tantric sex pose, the next day she's blowing a farm animal and your half-brother is pointing a gun at you telling you how you no longer fit into the equation. You bang crazy. You don't marry crazy. I shouldn't have to explain this to a...

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Coco and Sister Lock Pubes

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be aroused by this flesh formation or bring it to New York in chains for an open air circus that wildly threatens public safety. I have to admire the sister on the bottom for her strength and steadiness. Also her willingness to contract crabs. This routine is one midget in a devil costume away from genius. Photo Credit: Instagram/Blackmen SSX Tribute Magazine [gallery id="2184"]

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More on the Coco Lingerie Line, It Needs More (VIDEO)

If you areshaped like one of those things you squirt into a baby's ear you're in luck because Coco Austin is launching a lingerie company. In earlier times Coco would be rounded intoa caravan to tour mill towns with the bearded woman and that goat with two heads. Times have changed. Not for better or worse. Just different. The company is called Cocolicious Lingerie and if you buy it for your girlfriend she'll think...

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Coco Twerks Her New Clothing Line

Coco is selling her clothing line. These may or may not be the same intimate pieces they found in and around the location where Ice T's son got cuffed for busting a nut in public. The wardrobe pieces are one size fits all and you can't return them after trying on due to the tenuous nature of elastic and ass bacteria. These are the kinds of clothes one might wear if you were looking to be cast as the body double in a...

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Coco Austin Can't Fit Down The Chimney

Think of all the women in this world who cut, savage, and deform their bodies just so some percentage of lonely bastards might enjoy a good wank. These ladies are the real Santa Clauses. Not the fat old man who delivers presents to children around the world minus Africa because he's racist. Think about the girlwho says I'll take needles full of centrifuged fat in my ass cap just so some guy in Muncie can splooge into...

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Coco Austin Cooks In A Thong

I understand why Coco forged the arctic migratory fat cap on the back end of her body. It's like vocational training or school for the most of the rest of us. It opened doors to employment opportunities. But you can't have that shitter hanging out at the dinner table. I don't care how fucked up your in-laws are, nobody's comfortable with an ass hair floating in the gravy. Photo Credit: Instagram [gallery id="2734"]

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Coco Looks Perfect

I can see the advantages of living with an airbrushed Coco. Perfectly large curves with no creases or cracks filled with undocumented aliens seeking out a better life north of the border. A face where you can't detect the deep impressions left by years and years of semen carving canyons like the Colorado River through the Southwestern limestone. You wouldn't even sense your pending doom as noxious gases leak through...

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Coco Austin In A Thong Bikini

I blame hip hop culture. For everything. Before rap, gasoline was ten cents a gallon, the merriment of children filled the streets, and big fat asses were simply known as big fat asses. Grotesquely enlarged butts just peaked in Barbados where Coco's ass cheeks lifted her out of the water like pontoons harpooned into the side of a great white to keep it from diving. I would never tell another man what ought give you...

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Ice T Stands Up for Ass (VIDEO)

When you find yourself on national television explaining that your wife's as is made of real human fatty flesh to an incredulous audience, you must realize the extent of your cartoonish fetishization. Ice-T explained that people often gawk at Coco's ass like a freak show exhibit, assuming that the human form cannot naturally anthropomorphize itself into such a sexually exaggerated incarnation. "When people see...

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Coco Has a Clothing Line

Coco took to Twitter to remind everybody of her swim and casual wear line. The bikini clothing line has been specifically designed for the woman with a gruesomely distorted set of ass cans and hyper inflated implants whose goal is to be passed around the back of the rapper tour bus. So, about one-third of America. Go get yourself some Licious before Coco's man comes and makes you. Photo Credit: Coco Austin, Licious...

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Coco Restores My Faith in People

Vulgarities like Nigerian kidnappings and Ukrainian annexation and E! pretending that Kim Kardashian's third sold wedding is romantic can cause you to wonder what kind of shit hole we call home. Just when you've lost your faith in humanity, Coco takes her damn top off. I'm still not paying $20 to a guy named Stu to let me into anything burlesque, but at least one Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism is doing...read more

Coco's Ass Has Become Its Own Planet

Twerkmaster General Coco Austin, or Ice T's wife with the huge tits and ass, as most people know her, has been pushing a new fitness app that she claims has been making her big ass even bigger than scientists had said was ever possible. Because her fans didn't believe her, or she just knows that people follow her on Instagram because she posts photos of her ass, Coco proved all of her doubters wrong with a new photo...

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