Yesterday there were a bunch of pictures (like this one) of Colin Farrell on vacation in Mexico. I didn’t download any of them of course, because if I wanted to see some short-fused drunk mick with his shirt off I would go to my family reunions.
But then his girlfriend Alicja Bachieda-Curus stepped out of her clothes and into my heart when she laid out in the sun for a while. You can’t really tell what she looks like (this is her at Cannes) but you can tell that her body is fantastic. How come this dude get’s to nail all the hot ass? Is there some shortage of sexy Hollywood hunks that I don’t know about? According to my mirror, no, no there’s not.
Heath Ledger had finished about half of his scenes for “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” when he died on January 22nd of last year, but thankfully his final work was salvaged by having Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell play Ledgers character in various incarnations. Luckily this is a Terry Gilliam movie so I’m sure shit like that will seem perfectly reasonable as it happens. This is the brand new trailer and it looks okay, but if it doesn’t have teen vampires moping around and getting into love triangles, how good could it really be? What a piece of shit! Why did they even bother?!
The Daily Mail says that Colin Farrell has shed over 40 pounds for a new movie role, in an article apparently written by Colin Farrell or his agent or both.
Colin Farrell looked slim and toned as he showed off his new ultra-thin physique on the beach in Malibu after his dramatic weight loss for a film role. Despite his slender frame, the 32-year-old appeared tanned and healthy as he jogged along the beach yesterday. The Irish heart-throb looked every inch the beach Adonis with his long hair, Celtic tattoos and a sand-covered six-pack. Farrell has dramatically shed pounds for his role in the upcoming movie, Triage, in which he plays a war photographer.
As a published medical ethicist, I feel it's my duty to call no-way. What does being a photographer in a movie have to do with looking like this? Of this were the year 1680, he’d be tried as a witch.
Colin Farrell is dating a girl named Muireann McDonnell these days and, um, I think it's safe to say her ex boyfriend didn't take it too well. McDonnell was dating a 22 year old bartender named John Knight, and even though the two had broken up before McDonnell ever met Farrell, he was reportedly devastated at the idea of her with someone else. The Sun UK says:
The ex-boyfriend of Colin Farrell’s new girl killed himself after she started going out with the star, it was revealed yesterday. Farrell met Muireann when he went to a party at a bar in Dalkey, near Dublin — opposite the gourmet food store where she worked. A pal of John’s said: “They must have hit it off immediately. They began to go out. John was devastated.” Two months later he committed suicide. A source close to Muireann confirmed she had been left shattered. The friend said: “She is having trouble coping with this.”
I really don't think it's too much to ask that people start to kill themselves at the thought of life without me or because I'm too much competition for them. I just think it would be a nice compliment. Clearly the secret is dressing like a sexy pirate. I think my mistake was dressing like the pirates you see on bottles of rum, with the parrot on my shoulder and the giant feather plume in my hat and the long purple coat and the gold hoop earring. Apparently thats not as threatening as I first imagined.
