Colleen Shannon Used to Be the World’s Best Female DJ

By Lex November 13, 2014 @ 10:29 AM

Colleen Shannon Topless On The Beach For 138 Water
Losing your spot on the dais to Paris Hilton can’t feel good. I don’t care if it’s the pointless DJ crown or just the tiara given to the woman who has smoked the most idle rich cocaine covered pole, you don’t want to be ousted by a chick whose IQ hovers around par at Augusta. What’s left for you but to take off your top and hand yourself over to the insidious fucking bastards of the stylish bottled water venture hell bent on destroying this planet. And not long and slow like some Interstellar wheat blight, it’s going to happen fast. Voracious parasitic life forms bursting out of female parts and right into your maw. Think crabs, but on the scale of a McMansion or the large boned Kardashian girl. All because somebody had to take away Colleen Shannon’s title. If we all realized how interconnected our lives are on this planet we probably wouldn’t need so many signs reminding women not to flush tampons down toilets.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Colleen Shannon’s Car Broke Down, Or Did It?

By Lex October 29, 2014 @ 11:25 AM

Colleen Shannon Wears A Bikini Along The Side Of The Road For 138 Water
The last time Colleen Shannon looked like this she was distracting customs officials in upstate New York so her boyfriend could hop over a creek from Canada into the U.S. with some controlled substances. It’s the Fraulein Helga bent over a low filing cabinet trick. It’s never been topped.

These 138 water people are relentless in their mission. Now working with ex-cons like Colleen Shannon to distract our attention while they spread Ebola and Iggy Azalea music around the world. I’m sure the Free Masons are involved as well, those conspiratorial fuckers. What ultimately comes of this is what always comes of staring hungrily at a woman’s ass bent over the hood of her car. Severely chaffed dick, shattered dreams, and an early death.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Colleen Shannon in a Bikini

By Lex October 21, 2014 @ 11:59 AM

Colleen Shannon Wears Bikini For 138 Water In Malibu
It only makes sense that the nefarious bastards from 138 Water have switched to ex-cons to lull everybody and their reflexive dicks into a sense of calm before the invading storm. Playmate Colleen Shannon billed herself as the world’s hottest DJ before she got busted smuggling her smuggling boyfriend across the Canadian border and got sent to the clink. It’s in the women’s penitentiary where you quickly learn that you no longer want the world’s hottest anything moniker. That’ll get whispered in your ear during shower rapes in even greater volume than ‘Coach Sandusky wants to see your three point stance, Billy.’

Colleen paid her debt to society and unlike most ex-cons is immediately making a positive impact by showing off her tits in Malibu. On the contribution scale that’s somewhat better than revenge killing the grocery store clerk who fingered you to the cops and slightly less than what Nelson Mandela achieved after his release.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Colleen Shannon Poses In A White Bikini For A 138 Water Shoot In Beverly Hills

By Lex August 22, 2014 @ 6:56 AM

Colleen Shannon Poses In A White Bikini For A 138 Water Shoot In Beverly Hills

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Colleen Shannon In a Bikini

By Lex July 02, 2014 @ 3:07 PM

Colleen Shannon In A Blue Bikini For A Beach Photo Shoot In Malibu
The 138 Water pod people are back and they brought the Playboy DJ smuggler to induce feelings of lightheadedness and erection. I thought Colleen Shannon was off to jail for picking up her drug toting boyfriend at the Canadian border in a Bentley. I guess the sentences for stupid got reduced. She’s out and pimping this infernal consumer product that has never seen a store shelf, but may very signal the end out the human race. After seeing the high ratings for Tori Spelling’s staged reality show, I’m not sure this species deserves better than extinction. It might be time just to stare blankly into Colleen’s tits and pray you get the comfy chair in oblivion.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Colleen Shannon Poses In Lingerie For The 138

By Lex December 04, 2013 @ 5:29 PM

Colleen Shannon Poses In Lingerie For A 138 Water Commercial Photoshoot In Beverly Hills

I guess when you’re about to go to prison for smuggling your drug running boyfriend over the Canadian border, the idea of becoming a human host for the 138 pod babies doesn’t seem like such a bad turn. It’s certainly better than going to Canadian jail and seeing the place where Michael Bubl√©¬†used to conjugal with his various prison pen pals. Colleen Shannon may go down in history as the mother of the alien bug invasion, but that’s superior to being remembered as what’s-her-name with the big tits.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet