PAM ANDERSON - owes $493,000 in back taxes to the state of California. Hopefully she’ll pay it soon. Because that’s the problem with California. They don’t collect enough taxes. (huff post)
JESSE JAMES - had to pay off one of his whores because she could prove he cheated on Sandra Bullock with her. And by that I mean she kept a shirt with his DNA on it. This is why you need whores who swallow. If Francis Crick were still alive I’d punch that guy right in his face. (radar)
TYLER HAS SEXY READERS - but you already knew that, you handsome devil you. And Nikki is yet another one. She’s in College Humors ‘Americas Hottest College Girl’ contest, and today you can go vote for her. I feel bad because a bunch of other girls in the contest asked to get mentioned on Tyler too, but Nikki asked first. When you’re a blogger you get used to this sort of thing. Life is an endless parade of sexy women, intoxicated by my power and driven mad with passion. (college humor, facebook)
COLLEGE HUMOR - is having their Americas Hottest College Girl contest. Remember this hot bitch? Oh good you’re nodding (I can see you through your webcam, btw). Well that’s Nikki. And everyone should go vote for her. Because she reads Tyler too, and she asked me to put this up. So you two have a lot in common. If you vote for her she’ll probably wanna go out with you. (college humor, last girl in the south bracket - nikkis facebook)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says you have to know who you are before falling in love, and that “no man can define you.” Except in this case. And that man is Papa John. (people)
JESSE JAMES - is romantic. That’s why he waited a few weeks after marrying Sandra Bullock to start cheating again. Awww, he’s like a big teddy bear, that guy. (radar)
HULK HOGAN - says he became so depressed after his divorce that he took, “pills and rum, put a gun in my mouth and thought, pull the trigger.” Yeah, because Linda Hogan was such a prize. Looks like not being a loser is Hulks toughest opponent yet. (the sun)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is sleeping with guys again. Or at least she left a hotel with one, a model named Pete Smith. Wow, sex with Lindsay Lohan! What an amazing accomplishment. She must think he’s really special. (the sun)
ASHLEE SIMPSON - might have been kicked off ‘Melrose Place’ because Heather Locklear wanted to be the only big name star. Although it’s hard to believe that anyone who considers Ashlee Simpson a threat would even have enough clout to get a sandwich, much less final say on casting. (star)
BATMAN VANISHING - this is one of the most popular videos anywhere right now, probably because it’s awesome. (college humor)
HEIDI KLUM - is the star of the new book ‘Rankin’s Heidilicious’. Those two words seem to be complete jibberish, but when you have a book with dozens of naked Heidi Klum pictures, you could call it ‘This Book Is Made Of Poison’ and still sell a billion copies.
CUTE COLLEGE GIRL - some of the girls on the “cute girl” page will have one or two good pictures but that’s about it. Nikki on the other hand gets hotter and hotter with every new picture. In fact I’m trying to find a state that will let me marry this one. (college humor)
MILEY CYRUS - has been named the Worst Celebrity Influence by teen girls in an AOL poll. In fact she ran away with it, taking 42 percent of the vote. Britney was second with 27 percent. Selena Gomez was named the Best Celebrity Influence, and in a related story, Selena had 5 new pedophile laws named after her this week. (nbc)
MICHAEL JACKSON - might haunt you from the grave because a picture taken of him during his autopsy may be made public soon. Although it seems hard to believe these will be any worse than every other picture taken of him since 2002. (pop eater)
STEPHANIE PRATT - was officially charged with her DUI today. 10 days ago she was arrested for a .09 BAL. The legal limit is .08. They’re being tough on her as part of the DAs plan to randomly enforce laws. This way makes it more exciting! (wonderwall)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - changed bikinis from before. This new one is sort of a green color. You can be sure that Tyler will stay on top of this story and report new developments as they happen. Now back to you in the studio, Ken. (source = fame)
Entourage is completely fucking moronic and always has been, and it’s with no small amount of pride that I can go back three years and point out my saying so. So needless to say this video from College Humor is a welcome sight. I’d rather watch a team of teenage cheerleaders giggling while they point at my penis than 30 seconds of Entourage.
JENNIFER HUDSON OFFERS A REWARD - You probably know by now that Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were shot to death in Chicago on Friday, presumably by her brother-in-law, who is also the prime suspect in the disappearance of Jennifer’s 7-year-old nephew Julian. She has now offered a $100,000 reward for Julian’s safe return. This shit is depressing. Moving right along.
HSM3 MADE 82 MILLION DOLLARS - "High School Musical 3" made $42 million in the US, another 40 overseas. I saw it late Friday night and personally I was a disappointed. I haven’t seen the first two, but I have seen "Fresh Outta High School" 1 – 10. I thought it would be the same thing, pretty much. But halfway through the theater manager explained it wasn’t. Also, "where are your pants" and "you better get a mop and clean that up".
SO CAL GIRLS HEART SOCIALISM - pardon me, "wealth redistribution". Even worse, there's just a week left for your chest to cast its vote in CH's governing bodies contest. Here are some of the BREAST so far.A-cha-cha-cha!
