By Lex July 28, 2014 @ 11:13 AM
It’s so sad when something as beautiful as the pure unadulterated commercialization of Hollywood fare becomes corrupted by the ugliness of handsy nerds. But it’s happened. Scantily clad women in homemade superhero costumes are being touched, cat-called, and even photographed without their consent at Comic-Con. Somebody must rise to the aid of these bare assed exhibitionists. That somebody is Geeks for CONsent, a random group of convention going girls who want to put an end to the unexpectedly high rates of ungentlemanly behavior from the throngs of horny virgins. Well, not an entirely random group. The Geeks for CONsent girls actually happen to sell a comic book designed to help teach the wrongy wrongness of sexual harassment again women and gays and gay women and feral rabbits. Quite coincidentally, these ladies in the business of spotting harassment spotted tons of harassment at Comic-Con.
“It’s a separate, more specific issue within the convention space. It’s very much connected (to the larger problem) and it’s the same phenomena, but manifesting a little more sexually vulgar in the comic space.” — Rochelle Keyhan, vaunted leader of Geeks for CONsent
Keyhan noted that scantily clad women were used in presentation panels, including ten belly-baring women who were ‘slaves’ to Dwayne Johnson when he pimped out Hercules. I’m not making this horror up. These women were showing off their navels and pretending Hercules was their master. You’d have to go back to institutionalized rape in the Bosnian war in the 1990′s to compare this kind of wanton evil.
For her part, veteran cosplayer and former Peter Brady wide Adrianne Curry saw a guy sneaking his finger into her fellow costumed friend’s bikini bottom so she beat the crap out of him with her cosplay weapons. Which I guess is similar to the Geeks for CONsent game plan, only actually effective.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex July 25, 2014 @ 10:03 AM
As hip and cool as the days at Comic-Con, much like the Spring Break in Lauderdale or United Nations junkets, it’s what happens after the sun goes down that really defines the craziness. Seventeen virgin males assembled at the Sin City 2 party to witness girls bussed in from Tijuana at five bucks a head to dance with pasties on their tits. Fat Wonder Woman was there again. There are actually over 2,000 Fat Wonder Women at Comic-Con so this may not be the same one. It does seem to be the superhero of choice for the women who’ve come to be comfortable with how God and Haagen-Dazs made them. After the hookers danced, a donkey was brought up on stage and in a surprise twist, went down on one of the girls. El burro es un animal majestuoso IGN later passed out Magic The Gathering cheats and diet Yoo-hoos and everybody was tucked in by 9:30 at the Marriott. Comic-Con is the best of us.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex October 14, 2013 @ 12:45 PM
Comic conventions and fanboy events are the perfect place for not so attractive girls to costume up and feel the drooling gaze of a thousand pudgy horny pale men. If that’s your thing. And why the fuck not. Pudgy horny pale men tend to have jobs and decent credit and no arrest records. If I was a chick, my distant second choice of mates, after I’d run through every single other woman in the world, would be a pudgy horny pale man. That’s 50 shades of a dude who will get me whatever shit I want as long as I wear a cheapy nylon get-up and call myself Jean Grey. Mistress commands you to get her some beers and turn on the ballgame and then get the fuck out of your own place for a few weeks. Now, mortal.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Getty
By Lex July 22, 2013 @ 11:45 AM
Here’s everything I hate about Comic-Con. Phoebe Price is about as alluring as a run-over squirrel. But she gets attention outside Comic-Con as a dime store Black Widow while Scarlett Johansson is whisked through the Convention Center back door to a tightly scheduled show pony event you can’t see. She’s in and out in eleven minutes like Obama. I won’t go so far as to say Comic-Con was ruined by the Hollywood invasion. Not when it used to reek of third-day sweat socks and aspartame. But now you can no longer get desperate Phoebe Price back to your hotel room just by pretending you’re a movie producer. So, yeah, 2005 was much better.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Travis July 22, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Former Top Model winner Adrianne Curry returned to Comic Con 2013 in San Diego this year to defend her title as the Best Girl Who Walks Around In Really Tight Outfits With Her Tits Partially Hanging Out To Tease Those Poor Nerds So They Can’t Stand Up For The Next 20 Minutes, and judging by the photos she posted to her Twitter account, she was successful.
Adrianne had several costumes this year, including Mileena from Mortal Kombat and Psylocke from the X-Men, but like all good parties, Comic-Con eventually ended and Adrianne was forced to go back to her day job of nothing.
Photo Credit: PCN
BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD – will return to MTV later this year, and now there’s a 5 minute preview of the new season. In related news, Pauly Shore will box a kangaroo this weekend at the Des Moines Chevrolet “Dealin Days”. (hollywood reporter)
STEVEN SPIELBERG – made his first ever appearance at Comic Con today, and used it to announce that the movie no one has been waiting for, ‘Jurassic Park 4′, will be out in a year or two. “Here’s some shit about a group of people who get trapped and chased and occasionally eaten by dinosaurs for the fourth time because I want more money,” I assume he said. (usa today)
KATY PERRY – has dyed her hair blond. Because what’s more edgy and outrageous than a girl in LA with big tits and dyed blond hair. (e!)
DEXTER – has a trailer previewing season 6, and it looks to be as great as ever, with the kid at the hardware store still not wondering why he needs so much plastic drop clothes and cling wrap. (youtube)
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AND BLAKE LIVELY – are apparently not broken up as was previously reported, and were actually together in Santa Barbara on Wednesday. So you might as well deal with it and have sex with me, Bar Refaeli. (us)
VANESSA MINNILLO AND NICK LACHEY – are on their honeymoon in St. Barts today, and it’s not entirely clear but these might be some shots of Nick forcing Vanessa to throw rocks at some black kids on a raft. So be sure to let everyone know that Nick Lachey hates black people. I mean, what are you fucking blind, look at the pictures! (fame)