By Lex October 14, 2013 @ 12:45 PM
Comic conventions and fanboy events are the perfect place for not so attractive girls to costume up and feel the drooling gaze of a thousand pudgy horny pale men. If that’s your thing. And why the fuck not. Pudgy horny pale men tend to have jobs and decent credit and no arrest records. If I was a chick, my distant second choice of mates, after I’d run through every single other woman in the world, would be a pudgy horny pale man. That’s 50 shades of a dude who will get me whatever shit I want as long as I wear a cheapy nylon get-up and call myself Jean Grey. Mistress commands you to get her some beers and turn on the ballgame and then get the fuck out of your own place for a few weeks. Now, mortal.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Getty
By Lex July 22, 2013 @ 11:45 AM
Here’s everything I hate about Comic-Con. Phoebe Price is about as alluring as a run-over squirrel. But she gets attention outside Comic-Con as a dime store Black Widow while Scarlett Johansson is whisked through the Convention Center back door to a tightly scheduled show pony event you can’t see. She’s in and out in eleven minutes like Obama. I won’t go so far as to say Comic-Con was ruined by the Hollywood invasion. Not when it used to reek of third-day sweat socks and aspartame. But now you can no longer get desperate Phoebe Price back to your hotel room just by pretending you’re a movie producer. So, yeah, 2005 was much better.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Travis July 22, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Former Top Model winner Adrianne Curry returned to Comic Con 2013 in San Diego this year to defend her title as the Best Girl Who Walks Around In Really Tight Outfits With Her Tits Partially Hanging Out To Tease Those Poor Nerds So They Can’t Stand Up For The Next 20 Minutes, and judging by the photos she posted to her Twitter account, she was successful.
Adrianne had several costumes this year, including Mileena from Mortal Kombat and Psylocke from the X-Men, but like all good parties, Comic-Con eventually ended and Adrianne was forced to go back to her day job of nothing.
Photo Credit: PCN
BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD – will return to MTV later this year, and now there’s a 5 minute preview of the new season. In related news, Pauly Shore will box a kangaroo this weekend at the Des Moines Chevrolet “Dealin Days”. (hollywood reporter)
STEVEN SPIELBERG – made his first ever appearance at Comic Con today, and used it to announce that the movie no one has been waiting for, ‘Jurassic Park 4′, will be out in a year or two. “Here’s some shit about a group of people who get trapped and chased and occasionally eaten by dinosaurs for the fourth time because I want more money,” I assume he said. (usa today)
KATY PERRY – has dyed her hair blond. Because what’s more edgy and outrageous than a girl in LA with big tits and dyed blond hair. (e!)
DEXTER – has a trailer previewing season 6, and it looks to be as great as ever, with the kid at the hardware store still not wondering why he needs so much plastic drop clothes and cling wrap. (youtube)
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AND BLAKE LIVELY – are apparently not broken up as was previously reported, and were actually together in Santa Barbara on Wednesday. So you might as well deal with it and have sex with me, Bar Refaeli. (us)
VANESSA MINNILLO AND NICK LACHEY – are on their honeymoon in St. Barts today, and it’s not entirely clear but these might be some shots of Nick forcing Vanessa to throw rocks at some black kids on a raft. So be sure to let everyone know that Nick Lachey hates black people. I mean, what are you fucking blind, look at the pictures! (fame)