If the past couple weeks of Coachella have reminded us of anything it’s that celebrities have a hard time fitting in with regular people. Even at Coachella, a real soft-serv version of an old school indie music festival, all these over-handled primadonnas simply can’t dress down or get down with normal folk. But Courtney Love can. She’s the first famous person I’ve seen at Coachella who looks born of the sweat and drugs and dirty sex that forms the foundation of any great outdoor public cultural event. She could suck on a cactus branch, tamp cocaine into the bloody folds of her shredded mouth, and wash it all down with a bottle of Jack and the cum of five strange men. And do it all with a blank smile and a ten-thousand yard stare. In fact, Coachella doesn’t even deserve her.
It shouldn’t be surprising that Paul Mccartney fucking killed it last night when he filled in for Kurt Cobain and played with Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and Pat Smear, the 3 surviving members of Nirvana who haven’t played together in 20 years, at the concert for Hurricane Sandy relief at Madison Square Garden, but it is. HE’S FUCKING 70. And they were great. Courtney Love complained about of course, but fuck her. Can’t we just kill her and replace her with some drifter from the train tracks? It’s hard to imagine that anyone would even notice.
Lana Del Rey did a cover of Nirvana’s ‘Heart Shaped Box’ during a concert in Sydney last week, and though it’s down now, Courtney Love–pardon me–Courtney Love Cobain, went on twitter today to smugly ask if Lana even knows what the song is about. And then explained it was about her vagina. The phrase ‘heart shaped box’ refers to a ladies vagina. Who would have guessed.
After that she said Kevin Spacey is Keyser Söze and Bruce Willis is a ghost. The theme was: things drunk heroin addicts find amazing but everyone else figured out 15 years ago.
Salvatore Ferragamo probably had everyone stand in front of this wall of roses last night at their launch party in New York, but if they were smart they made Courtney Love stay there all night. She’s like something that just crawled out of a grave, and maybe the roses will hide the smell, but also this sorta makes it look like she just won the Kentucky Derby.
Frances Bean Cobain, the 19-year-old daughter of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, described her mom as unstable and an unrepentant drug addict in court papers filed to get a restraining order in 2009.
I know, right! I was surprised too!
“(Love) has taken drugs for as long as I can remember,” Cobain said. “She basically exists on Xanax, Adderall, Sonata and Abilify, sugar and cigarettes. She rarely eats … She often falls asleep in her bed while she is smoking, and I am constantly worried that she will start a fire (which she has done at least three times) that will threaten our lives.”
And the restraining order wasn’t just for Frances; it also applied to her pets, because “Love’s wreckless behavior caused the death the family dog and cat.”
“The cat died after getting entangled in Love’s messy piles of ‘Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash and other possessions,’ (and) the dog swallowed several of Love’s stash of prescription pills.”
Yes. That’s exactly how I pictured life for a child being raised by Courtney Love. Frances would have been better off living in that cave at the beginning of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’.
DARREN ARONOFSKY – will no longer direct the Wolverine sequel, stating that it would keep him in Japan for over a year, and he didn’t want to be apart from his family for that long. Also Japan glows in the dark now. (e.w.)
THE X FACTOR – has found their first judge to join Simon Cowell, and its LA Reid, arguably the most powerful man in music. While chairmen of Island Def Jam Records (he resigned today to take this and move to Sony) he signed Rihanna, Kanye West, Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, and The Killers, among others. The only way the third judge could be more respected is if they got Yoda. (huff post)
COURTNEY LOVE – considered snorting Kurt Cobains ashes. She should just shit on them, since that’s what she’s doing figuratively anyway. (p.e.)
KARISSA SHANNON – is always up for some attention whoring, and St. Patricks Day is no exception, so she went to Malibu in a green bikini. Maybe for Easter she could wear a white bikini and come out of a cave. (pcn)