Be sure to copy and paste this onto Word and then prepare for an explosion of color as spellcheck underlines every third word in red. It's Courtney Loves latest myspace entry, and it says something about a phone number, I think. Like, her phone number was posted online, or something. I'll be honest, I read this like 8 times, partly because I can barely read, but mostly because she's either retarded or high, and neither of those is very good. "I get the lawyeres whow eresorty of moseying"? Whow? Eresorty? Erestory?! I know I can't type or spell for shit, but "erestory"? What could that possibly be? You'd have to put on mittens and balance on a ball and then just bang your hands against the keyboard to come out with "eresorty". Anyway, Courtney says…
someone posted a friend of mines phone number and says its mine this jackass Karmi, on a website that is coming down but frankly i have waaay more relevanat things to do than worry about a website with insanely inflated viewing numbers some tiny clusterfuck of annoyance that i only ever rememeber when i ( rarely ) go on the internet as i am making music films and raising a child conducting my life getting laid and tivoing suze orman- so wtf? STOP CAllING MY FRIEND KATHERINE, SHE HAS THREE KIDS AND HAS NO TIM E FOR INTERNET BULLSHIT- SHE SPOKE TO SOMEONE AS ME TO PROTECT ME OUT OF SHEER CURIOUSITY TO SUSS OUT THE PERSONS VIBE AND SAQID HE W2AS A TOTAL SOCIOPATH LOSER AND NOW SHE HAS TOC HANGE HER NUMBER AS THIS RETARD POSTED IT as if ID ac=tually speak to Karmi personally! PUHLEASE ( aka chris) i never ever ever speak tp [people off the internet myself i have people who do that for me, and she also has a husband and thank god this is her secondary phone as shes basically thrown it away- and i will make sure i get the lawyeres whow eresorty of moseying to hurry and take thaT fucking site down as the webmaster ( trannie named brooke) lied at the icann hearing and now irt has to get dponw throughthe federal squatters law theres just been more important things but seriously this is stupid , obviously none of you here have engaged in terrorising Katherine or her kids with stupid phoners about we cante evr figur eout what- just "oooheee i have a famous persons phon e number and im in bumfuck Maryland" its just stupid obscene and RUDE, remember m,anners are free. youve fucked someones secondary cell up but it aint mine but its still insane and rude and Chris whoever the fuck you are i dont write back on this site personally so whoeevr was on shift was obviouswly fucking with you it takes about 8 people to run this site for some reason and tho i do read the comments i dontrtend to write lengthy letters back personally although occasionally i wrote a friend or somneone i like or post at someones space b ut not too often, trhats just how these my spaces work- so dont go offended - i love this my space and i dont need this karma wierdness- get off my cloud.
Karmi + CHRIS your just creepy, leave me alone leave my friends alone and go post with your people. until they get kicked off the net.
as fro ou guys here i love you and support all our efforts to im prove our lives an d i welcome all the new people here and its really awesone that id ont have to use one of those computer programs id die of embarsssment to add a million friends - i dunno i just think thats retarted id rather have it happen slow and organically so we can all getto know one another
loadswof love and be nice or leave
nam myoho renge kyo
Courtnoi
As you might imagine, the myspace community is outraged. Jenn the Cat Lady says, "Im sorry you have to deal with this shit", but one post later Nikki Kohler disagrees, and says, "Im sorry you had to deal with this". Better Things Are Yet To Come says that he's "sorry to hear about that", and you may or may not agree with his sentiments, but I think we can all agree that he’s managed to take the gayest possible myspace picture. But Tyffany Lynn Amato sums it all up nicely by saying, "Geeze thems people went all Tommy Tutone with the wrong number!" To which I replied by laughing nervously to stall until I figured out what the fuck she was talking about. "Hahaha," I said.
I think a good movie would be one where Courtney Love plays someone from earth. And they use a bunch of makeup and stuff to make her look vaguely human. Everyone would enjoy a movie like that. And they'd be all like, "holy moly, how do they do that!"
Courtney Love has written another drunken and high, poorly thought out and executed entry on her official website, this time musing over a range of topics from computer viruses to Buddhism to her weight loss and her former obsession with physical perfection (as seen above). A sample:
i see these pics (the new ones) and something must be wrongw ith me co si know what i wweigh and i still dont feel quite thin enough, im gonn go for tewn more pounds and then ill mainatin at that imd oing weight training and pilates and more tough stuff so ic an tone more, you lose this much weighta nd get saggy skina nd im in no mood for saggy anything thank you very much sdo i need ot firm up and get my butt in shape and tummy and arms, and fdo the heavy lifting - the hardest part the first 50 pounds is over- now i just gotta put the w3ork in to get where i wanna be-= but i m a rockstar and my job isnt to be perfect - in fact he addictiont o the idea opf “perfection” has infested my life in the past and im over it- its never thnk god infected my music but its affected my outeard appearance and self esteem and i need to know that as long a s ido somnething fo rsomeone else every day as longa s my duty ist o make others less miserable in fct helo them to be happy=- by what we call “kosenrufu: ” wich means world peace - and value creation wherever we go( nichiren buddhists) its so important to be of service to others , so very very important for purely selfish reasons- one gets more from the universe the more ones heart is opne and all that stuff.
Clearly one of us has no idea what the word "perfection" means. In fact, one of us isn't even close. I thought it meant something about being super hot. Courtney seems to think it means something about being a terrifying monster. True story: when I opened the picture above, my plants all died and my dogs howled, then crawled under the bed. "C'mon girl, it's okay, the monster can't hurt you sweetie…"
Courtney Love has issued a scathing response to all those naysayers who claim she got her new body with the help of plastic surgery, specifically a gastric bypass. Love denies this out of hand, and insists her hot new curves are the result of nothing but discipline and healthy living, and she slams critics with a lucid, well thought out entry on her website. Love writes:
ots bullshit
i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it
FDA says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being 100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.
I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,
i started weight training three days go to get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong nd not weak,
Thizs is bullshit as is the tummy tuck rumour or the 200k in liopo rumpur ( you dont lose eoght all over from lipo) ( noone loses more than 15 lbs from lipo ever they “resculpt”) thi sisjust nnoying gross BULLSHIT. from people who cant lose wieght through ld fashioned discipline but dont think for second if it was legal i wouldnt think bout it sure i would but losing ll you rintesines doesnt appeal to me and im ton macro so i dont get cancer ( i kno wthe smnoking hs to go) banding s supposed to up your vchances for colon cancer as well as other terroble health problems,
again this is BULLSHIT. i worked my ss off and m always fucking hingry though ive gotten used to it, bno dr in the world would give me gastric bypass or gastric banding i dont meet the pproval of ny western country , it would be illegal and im[ossible fvor me to find dr to perform this surgery on me.
zso thats THAT.
Jealous Cynical people who anta cceopt that somneone cn lose alot of weight the old fshioned wy ive exercised mya ss off obv iously not enough in my stomach but xdone tons and tons aof cardio, so enough said on this nonsense jealous cynical lie.
good night.
Wow. Seriously, I can't type for shit, but you could be on horseback with boxing gloves on and type better than that. And also the horse is on a roller coaster. And the roller coaster has come off the tracks. And also your drunk. And you don't actually speak English.
Courtney Love is insisting that her dramatic weight loss recently was nothing more than the result of smart choices and healthy living, and I'm inclined to believe her, because when I think Courtney Love, I think "smart choices and healthy living". But some others aren't so sure. Page Six says:
Love insists her fabulous new figure is due to diet and exercise, but a friend said, "She's telling people she got the gastric band surgery. She even said she had to sleep with a towel by her because the surgery makes her [vomit] all the time and is worried she won't be able to make out with anyone because of her breath." But a rep for Love, who says she's dragged him to healthy macrobiotic restaurants, insists, "Not true. She says she never got surgery."
It doesn't even matter how it happened because she's a damn monster. I'd rather have sex with a beehive. But in other terrifying news, Shar Jackson somehow found 15,000 dollars and blew it on plastic surgery in a last ditch effort to cling to whatever fame she may have once had. She got lipo and a breast lift. And the resulting pictures (more of these over on Splash) are the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. She must be some kind of immortal because I don't think you can just have chucks cut out of you like this. Seriously, if my calculations are correct, she's a damn zombie.
WARNING - seriously, picture 5 is disgusting. Dont open it. But if you do … is that fur? What the hell is she?
PICTURE SOURCE = Splash
Man, I don't know if it's just the effects of spring or these pictures of Courtney Love lookin all sexy in her bikini, but my heart is alive this morning, seemingly for the first time. She's soooo pretty. I want to marry her. Then I can kiss her all the time. If you could get a close up of my heart right now, you'd see me twirling around in a meadow on a mountain top. And there's lilacs and edelweiss and little bunnies all around. Then Courtney and I would do that thing where we hold hands and spin around, laughing and smiling. You may not understand the beauty of our love but it's all part of being human. I've never been so happy!
