By Lex February 18, 2014 @ 7:21 PM
Even though the film about ass spanking couldn’t find an actress with an ass, I’m feeling pretty optimistic about Fifty Shades of Grey. Twenty million suburban housewives simultaneously flicking their beans can’t possibly be wrong. Remember when those same ladies started becoming moist over Boston Market? Next thing you know that mediocre meatloaf was available with two sides on every corner of this great land. These ladies’ clits are like modern day sybils at Delphi, dispensing the final word on what shall live and what shall die in our economy. Fifty Shades of Grey will make bank, even if we all have to wait another full year to see Christian Grey discipline that flat ass.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex September 03, 2013 @ 12:44 PM
I tried getting my lady to submit to my dominance one time. For my efforts I received a fist punch to the sac and having to listen to her giggle to her girlfriend on the phone about how stupid my cape looked. Part of the equation is definitely being just one good looking kind of man. Then women will let you get away with all kinds of shit. Like believing you when you say they’re the only girl you’re seeing. Or letting you go bareback because if they ever got knocked up, you’d be there for her every step of the way. Normal looking shlubs can’t get away with obvious lies. Let alone spanking their secretaries. You’ll get slapped with a harassment claim and an unkind office nickname that never goes away. In summary, try to be good looking if at all possible.
Charlie Hunnam with the stupid cowboy walk and Dakota Johnson got cast to be the leads in 50 Shades of Grey. Now I can be doubly excited about never going to see this movie.
Photo Credit: Details Magazine