I HATE YOU - Even though everyone knew it was going to suck, “G.I. Joe” made over $100M this weekend. If there was any doubt before, this is undeniable proof that people in this world are mostly stupid. (source = variety)
DANE COOK - got boo’d at the Teen Choice Awards after he said to Vanessa Hudgens, “Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” It wasn’t clear if the crowd was supporting Vanessa, or if even little kids have figured out that screaming the set-up line and then moving on is not the same thing as telling an actual joke. (source = radar)
MASCHA VANG - is a Dutch model who wore a bikini to the beach in LA this weekend, and that’s more than enough to get on Tyler. She’s also apparently a “sex expert”, though I have no idea what that might mean in this case. When guys are sex experts, it usually means they’re clinical psychologists. Girl sex experts are usually just sluts with a bunch of piercings who wanted to be on TV. (hq jump here. source = fame)
In this clip from My Best Friends Girl, out today on DVD and Bluray, one thing that becomes obvious is that there are worse ideas than to have a scene where Kate Hudson rides a guy and takes off her top. A scene where John Goodman rides a guy and takes off his top, for example. if (typeof ord==’undefined’) {ord=Math.random()*10000000000000000;} document.write(’‘); document.write(’‘); <a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/buz.wwtdd/video_blog_tracking_pixel;sz=1×1;ord=123456789?" mce_href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/buz.wwtdd/video_blog_tracking_pixel;sz=1×1;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"> <img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/buz.wwtdd/video_blog_tracking_pixel;sz=1×1;ord=123456789?" mce_src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/buz.wwtdd/video_blog_tracking_pixel;sz=1×1;ord=123456789?" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt=""></a>
Here's another clip from "My Best Friends Girl", out on DVD and BluRay this Tuesday, but, be warned, the language would probably be considered NSFW. I guess it depends on your workplace's policy for videos where Kate Hudson sings, "fuck that pussy, heey, fuck that pussy…". I'm assuming they'd be against it. So if you hit play before you read this, have fun down in HR.
Okay so I'm supposed to write an ad for "My Best Friends Girl", which comes out on DVD and BluRay on this Tuesday, but it would seem their faith in me was misplaced because it turns out I’m an idiot with no idea how to write ads. I wrote 5 different intros, and this was the best one, so what the hell does that tell you. But back to the point at hand, which is this clip. The only point I'd like to make is that, at one point, a girl offers to give a guy a handjob for 60 dollars. 60 dollars? Her hand better have 18 mink-covered vibrating fingers for 60 GD dollars. Even half that would be outrageous. For example, last night on craigslist your mom said she would do it for 10. Zing!
We’ve all felt cheated by Dane Cook over the years, as he robbed so very many of us of our good moods and laughter, so it only seems fitting that someone would rob him too. Except in this case they didn’t steal millions of smiles, they stole millions of dollars.
The business manager for Dane Cook was arrested by Massachusetts state police Tuesday for allegedly stealing millions of dollars from the nationally known comedian. Darryl McCauley, 43, of Wilmington, Mass., is scheduled to appear in Woburn District Court Wednesday morning. He is scheduled to be charged with two counts of larceny of over $250, forgery and larceny by continuous scheme, according to a news release by the Massachusetts Atorney General’s office. Cook said in a September 2006 interview that his older brother was named Darryl McCauley. Documents available Wednesday night did not say definitively whether the McCauley who was arrested is related to Cook. Other published reports list a Darryl McCauley as Cook’s brother and the best man in Cook’s recent wedding.
I guess this is sad because it's his brother but I don’t like Dane Cook so I don’t really give a shit. And you have to admit, this Darryl guy found a way to increase his profit margins, so in that sense Dane should be proud of his brother and his accomplishments. Stop being so selfish Dane.
It's with no small amount of pride that I mention I've hated Dane Cook since the first minute I saw him. He's always sucked, he's never been funny. This dude couldn't make me laugh unless he got me high and tickled my feet while puppies licked my face. And before anyone defends him, watch the video Best Week Ever put together for Danes new single. You read that right, by the way. Dane sings. Not only that, but he sings some emo cry baby nonsense. All he's missing is eyeliner and a heart filled with doom. This couldn't be any gayer unless he sang it with capri pants on and some snakeskin boots with little bells on the tips.
