I don’t know why Dr. Phil is still allowed to host a show after creating Danielle Brigoli. Isn’t his schtick centered on helping the deeply troubled? And not turning teenage terrors into successful Soundcloud rappers then walking away. Clean... READ MORE

Danielle Bregoli getting her own reality TV show should make you feel like a failure. You’ve followed all of the rules your entire life and look how that’s paid off. You’re not an outlier like Danielle, who happens to... READ MORE

Danielle Bregoli is officially the man of the house now. She paid off her mother’s mortgage so she’s free to openly use as many potty mouth words indoors as she wants. It’s the perks of being the primary provider... READ MORE

The Fall of the Roman Empire took an excruciatingly long number of tiresome pages to explain. The fall of Western civilization can be more tersely attributed to an interview of Danielle Bregoli criticizing Logan Paul for his dead Japanese... READ MORE

When I hear stories about 14-year-old females accidentally making enough money to pay off the rest of their parent’s mortgage I get the feeling like I chose the wrong career path. Danielle Bregoli is the same teen that went... READ MORE

Those parental cliches about eating your vegetables and studying and early to bed to ensure success in life seem particularly bullshit in the face of Danielle Bregoli landing a music contract with Atlantic Records. 

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There's a relativist conundrum when you're involved in an art form that is so incredibly shitty and shady that anybody can be amazing or lousy entirely based on subjectivity and payola.

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Danielle Bregoli, who has been fourteen with fake tits for the past five years, copped to some fairly serious charges in juvenile court in Florida, where she simply had to be from.

 

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Danielle Bregoli continues to insist she's fourteen, though the doctor who did her breast implants won't cop to anything under sixteen. Bulgarian surgery rules.

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You never know what zany antics will happen when you get your violent middle school daughter breast implants and unleash her on the world. If you work backward from the inevitable death by eighteen, you have a timeline of... READ MORE