Monday morning headlines

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 10:39 AM

The Town

PETE POSTLEHWAITE – died last night, from cancer. He was 64, and made his career by looking 64 for the past 20 years while being the best actor in movies like the Usual Suspects, Inception, and the Town. Called “the best actor in the world” by Steven Spielberg, he gave a movie credibility and made at least part of it good. I’ll get you for this cancer! (people)

LINDSAY LOHAN – gets out of rehab today, and this time will be totally different from the other 90 times she’s broken the law or gone to rehab or both. This time she even went to Whole Foods and read a magnet, then posted it on twitter. “The future depends on what we do in the present.” Oh shit. She’s so different now. If she tweets the Emerson one about what lies inside of me, I’ll vote for her to be President of Earth. She’s an amazing woman now!!! (huff post)

DAVID ARQUETTE - has entered rehab for addiction to alcohol and depression. Looks like someone didn’t read Lindsays magnet. (e!)

SITE NEWS – OK I’ve clearly been lazy as hell lately. Actually that’s not true, I’ve been working on other stuff for the site, but either way the page has been slow for a few weeks and I apologize. But that’s wrapped up, for the most part, and I still have some stuff to catch up on, like the top 100, but now the page will be back to normal. Which means mediocre. Honestly if I were you I’d go watch some TV or something. Have you seen Nikita. That’s a good show. And they put Maggie Q in yoga pants a lot. I would go watch that if I were you.

Jasmine Waltz is in a bikini, has an amazing ass

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 5:41 PM

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Jasmine Waltz of course is the girl who was famous for a week last month because she was dating David Arquette when it was announced he and Courteney Cox were getting a divorce, and today she was at the beach in a bikini. And it… was awesome.

I know black guys will be like, “Cracka are you crazy? That ass is terrible. Ghosts are scary. Where’s my kool aid? Obama deserves two terms to implement his policies”, but Jasmine has one of the greatest asses I’ve ever seen. I know it’s a white girl ass, but I like white girls, so we’re all set here.

(source = pacific coast)

Monday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 01, 2010 @ 7:01 PM

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LILY ALLEN – has suffered a miscarriage for the second time in three years. This weekend she lost her baby 6 months into her pregnancy. In January 2008, she suffered a similar fate after just one month. (the sun)

COURTENEY COX – told Australia’s TV Week that she is not getting a divorce from David Arquette. “Still, Cox acknowledges that she and her husband of 11 years are no longer on the same page. ‘Sometimes you just realize, Wow, we actually have grown apart,’ she says.” And other times you realize, “Oh hell, I didn’t make him sign a pre-nup.” (people)

BROOKLYN DECKER – was also at Heidi Klums Halloween party. What was she dressed up as? Nobody cares! (splash)

Jasmine Waltz had a sexy mugshot

By brendon October 14, 2010 @ 10:43 AM

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Jasmine Waltz, the girl who started dating David Arquette after he and Courteney Cox quietly separated about a month ago, is on the verge of being arrested for stealing my heart, by the love police, and hopefully her mugshot will be as hot as the one she took in 2000 (full size here) after being arrested in Orange County, Florida, for, “possession of less than 20 grams of cannabis.”

It was a misdemeanor and she pled no contest, but it’s nice to know that this hot bitch likes to party. Girls will let you do anything you want to them when they’re high. Even more so if you have a gun.

(source = splash news online)

Jasmine Waltz had tons of sex with David Arquette

By brendon October 13, 2010 @ 4:18 PM

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When David Arquette told Howard Stern yesterday that he was dating 28 year old bartender Megan Fox Jasmine Waltz and that the rumors about his impending divorce from Courteney Cox were true, he also said that he and Jasmine have already had sex. Once. Maybe twice.

And for some reason people took that literally because today Jasmine would like to make it clear that she slept with another womans husband WAAYYY more than twice. TMZ says…

The woman with whom David Arquette claims to have had sex with “once … maybe twice,” is indignant, telling friends, “Two Times, My Ass!”
Jasmine Waltz is indignant, claiming she had sex multiple times with David over the course of more than a month.

That’s all fine but what about the real question; is she indignant? I wish I had the answer my friends, but the reality is, we may never know.

(image source = inf and splash news)

David Arquette admits cheating on Courteney Cox

By brendon October 12, 2010 @ 12:01 PM

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Yesterday it was reported that David Arquette maybe had a new girlfriend, 28-year-old bartender Jasmine Waltz, but instead of being happy for him, his wife Courteney Cox decided they should separate after 11 years of marriage.

In her defense, the rumors are true, and Arquette admitted it this morning in an interview with Howard Stern.

(Arquette said) he wasn’t living with Waltz, “but I did have sex with her one time, maybe twice… my sexual encounter made me pretty feel manly.”

Jasmine has also dated Ryan Seacrest, Jesse McCartney and Paris Hilton’s ex Doug Reinhardt. Which is scary. I assume that after you bang Paris Hilton, you pull out of her poisonous vagina and your dick looks like a cigarette that has sat in an ashtray for 30 minutes. A drooping arc of ash that disintegrates when you tap it. Uhh, no thanks. This is my favorite penis. I don’t want anything to happen to it.

(the pictures are Jasmine with McCartney in August of 09 and her alone last night in West Hollywood. source = pacific coast)