Jolie won’t be Marilyn, but Mara will be Salander

By brendon August 17, 2010 @ 1:58 PM

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Yesterday everyone in Hollywood was freaking out over the casting of Angelina Jolie as Marilyn Monroe and Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander. Oh I know, right! It was crazy! You can’t make this stuff up!

But today Jolie has announced she will not be starring in the biopic that was to cover the last two years of Monroes life as told from the perspective of her dog (seriously). It’s easy to assume she passed because that idea is clearly retarded, but it’s still 10 times smarter than that Loom of Fate bullshit in “Wanted” so who knows.

Rooney Mara however, is absolutely taking the lead in David Finchers version of “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. She beat out Natalie Portman, Ellen Page, and Scarlett Johansson for it, and now she has to at least equal the performance by Noomi Rapace in the popular Swedish versions of these movies. Meaning she has to look at the ground when she talks and pretend to type on a computer. Better keep Portman on deck just in case.

wednesday headlines

By brendon July 21, 2010 @ 11:00 AM

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THE RIDDLER – will be the villain (probably) in Christopher Nolans third Batman movie, and might be played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who Nolan just worked with in ‘Inception’. A better choice from ‘Inception’ would be Tom Hardy, who played the forger (and was unfuckingbelievable in ‘Bronson’). That dude is one of the best actors alive. But not as good as Sinamon, this stripper I met Friday. Turns out she just wanted my money. (first showing)

THE GOON – is one of the coolest looking comics around, and now the movie produced by David Fincher finally has a teaser trailer. Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown voice the leads as mob enforcers who battle monsters. Like zombies. And I guess ghosts. Maybe the monster of bigotry. Or Eskimos, and litterbugs. Wow this is gonna be a long movie. (latino review)

BRITNEY SPEARS – was at a Crate and Barrel in Sherman Oaks yesterday, and I don’t usually post full size pictures in a post, but former sex objects don’t usually wear cut off dockers and hunting boots either. She probably left empty handed because she wanted to buy an actual barrel. The Spears family moonshine recipe is very specific about that. (fame)

thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 19, 2009 @ 8:11 PM

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Todays headlines are sponsored by Barney, the fattest Dalmatian in England. He’s not the fattest black and white mix breed in England though. Hint hint, Mariah Carey. (barney pix here and here and here. source = splash)

DAVID FINCHER – was called in to create a menu screen for the BluRay release of ‘Fight Club’, so he copied the one from ‘Never Been Kissed’ starring Drew Barrymore. He meant it as a joke, but they do have things in common. They both make me want to punch someone, for example. (yahoo)

CHRIS BROWN – is struggling to fill even small venues during his comeback tour, and scalpers outside are selling tickets below cost. Maybe because lyrics like “babe pretty thick, that need to be hit” seem more threatening than sexy now. That’s either about a pretty girl he’d like to make love to, or a slow learner who needs a little reminding. (ny daily news)

BRAD PITT - turned down a $5M appearance fee and a trip to the United Arab Emirates because it was on Oct. 31st, and he wanted to go out with his kids on Halloween. What I’m trying to say is, Brad Pitt is an idiot. (msnbc)

BEHATI PRISLOO – is a pro. The model shot for Victorias Secret in New York today, and notice how everyone else is all bundled up and she’s essentially naked. Bullshit like this is why I got out of swimsuit modeling. (inf daily)