Joe Paterno died

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 7:30 AM

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Joe Paterno died early Sunday morning, though not of shame like you would have thought. It was actually lung cancer. A statement from his family says, “he died as he lived.” By mumbling and shielding a pedophile.

Dr. Conrad Murray sentenced to 4 years in jail

By brendon November 29, 2011 @ 4:29 PM

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Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to 4 years in jail today, the max allowed, for his part in the death of Michael Jackson. Which seems like a lot since he was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. “Involuntary”. It’s not like he was trying to kill Michael Jackson. Sometimes emaciated drug addicts just die, ya know. No one knows why but they do.

(source = usa today)

Patrice O’Neal died last night

By brendon November 29, 2011 @ 2:48 PM

It’s official now, but Patrice O’Neal died last night due to complications from the stroke he suffered last month, and sorry I’m so slow to update the page today but someone told me about this this morning and I’ve been surprisingly depressed about it. I hate that the word “genius” gets thrown around so much, I heard it this weekend about a guy who was really good at bbq, because Patrice was a fucking genius. This really sucks.

Robert Wagner killed Natalie Wood or something

By brendon November 18, 2011 @ 1:24 PM

Natalie Wood was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood when she drowned in 1981 during an overnight trip on a yacht with Christopher Walken and her husband Robert Wagner. Her death was ruled an accident but now the case has been reopened as a possible homicide.

In part this is due to a book written by Marti Rulli and Dennis Davern, who was the captain of that yacht and who eventually told ‘the Today show’ this morning that Wagner was responsible for Woods’ death. And by “eventually” I mean that David Gregory had to drag every word out of this idiot as if the Today show kidnapped him.

Here are the cliff notes on Woods death, and how what Davern says now conflicts with what he said then, and this shit took me forever so please refresh the page again and again and read it several times:

Read more >

a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz died

By brendon November 16, 2011 @ 2:52 PM

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Actor Karl Slover, who was the munchkin playing the lead trumpet when the Munchkin mayor arrives in the land of Oz, died yesterday at the age of 93. “He has a genuine immortality,” said author John Fricke, who apparently did not mean that literally. There will be no funeral for Slover, since midgets are just flushed down the toilet when they die, and because people would chase the midgets if they all congregated in one spot, due to the fact that midgets have to grant you a wish if you catch them. Another danger is that midgets can become aggressive if they’ve just laid their eggs.

(source = getty and moviefone)

Dr. Conrad Murray found guilty of manslaughter

By brendon November 07, 2011 @ 6:19 PM

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Michael Jacksons personal physician Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty today on one count of involuntary manslaughter after Jackson overdosed on a combination of drugs, notably the highly controlled anesthetic propofol, that were administered by Murray.

E! says

Murray faces up to four years in state prison and the loss of his medical license, although a recent rule adopted in the state of California could result in the cardiologist being sent to an L.A. County jail, where he would almost certainly spend only a portion of his sentence behind bars.
The offense was buoyed from testimony by Jackson employees who witnessed the panicked scene in the artist’s room when he stopped breathing, the detectives and forensics experts who led the investigation and, perhaps most poignantly, from anesthesiologist Dr. Steve Shafer.
Shafer testified that he found 17 areas in which Murray violated medical protocol and ethics, from Murray’s inexplicable decision to treat Jackson’s insomnia with the anesthetic propofol to his lifesaving attempts in Jackson’s final moments.

This still seems like a witch hunt. Michael Jackson has looked dead for 10 years. Propofol must be packed with vitamins because it’s a miracle he even stayed alive this long.