Amy Winehouses COD is a baffling mystery

By brendon July 25, 2011 @ 1:36 PM

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For some inexplicable reason, there are two very different pictures being painted today about the death of Amy Winehouse. Report after report claim there were “no sign of drugs” at her house (um, except for the dead 27-year-old with all the track marks). In fact the Sun leaves open the possibility that maybe she just ascended into heaven.

TRAGIC Amy Winehouse may have been dead for up to six hours before her body was discovered lying in bed, cops fear.
The star, 27, last spoke to her security team at 10am on Saturday. She was found at home in Camden, North London, at 4pm. Medics said she’d been dead several hours. Police sources reported no sign of drugs at the house.
Amy’s doctor examined her the evening before her death – and gave her the all clear.
A source said: “The doctor was happy with her condition. When he left on Friday night he had no concerns. Less than 24 hours later she was found dead.

I’m not really sure why people are making a big deal of the fact that she was dead for up to 6 hours. She looked like a corpse even before all this, and she was in bed. The guy is a bodyguard, not a necrophiliac.

Anyway, back in reality, the Daily Mail says this dirty junkie died as she lived: high as fuck.

The sordid details of Amy Winehouse’s final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine.
Although the exact cause of death has not yet been released by police, it is claimed she was seen buying drugs from a dealer in Camden just after 10:30pm on Friday.

So she saw her doctor Friday night, then went out and bought a ton of drugs and got high, then came home and checked in with her bodyguard, the overdosed in her sleep. Which is annoying because I would have preferred she died in at least as much pain as I suffer when I hear her god awful music.

Roger Ebert should keep his chin up

By brendon June 21, 2011 @ 12:09 PM

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Just hours after the news broke yesterday that ‘Jackass’ star Ryan Dunn killed himself and a friend by getting drunk and then driving a race car in the dark, Roger Ebert went on his twitter and wrote:

“Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.”

And about 8 hours later, other ‘Jackass’ star/complete pussy Bam Margera replied

“I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of shit roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents.”
“About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, fuck you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat fucking mouth!”

Ryan Dunn was always my favorite member of ‘Jackass’, and I like ‘Jackass’, so I’m actually sad that he’s dead, but if you get drunk and drive, fuck you. If someone gets a DUI, instead of taking their license we should put a big sharp spike on their steering wheel and then force them to drive. This is what other drivers feel like when you drive drunk. Exciting, isn’t it!

Ryan Dunn died in a car crash

By brendon June 20, 2011 @ 12:13 PM

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‘Jackass’ star Ryan Dunn and his passenger were killed last night after the 2007 Porsche 911 he was driving went off the road near his home in West Goshen Township, PA. Though he posted the picture above just 3 hours before the accident, it’s not known if he was drunk and what role, if any, alcohol played in the accident. TMZ says…

(Police) say Dunn’s car was “fully engulfed in flames” when officials arrived to the scene.
Both Dunn and his passenger “died as a result of injuries sustained in the accident.” Cops will release more information on the passenger once officials can positively identify the body.
Cops say “speed may have been a contributing factor to the accident.”
An investigation into the crash is ongoing.

And this is his Porsche after the pulled it out of the woods this morning. I suddenly long for the time when Katie Holmes stomach was gonna be the most mangled body part we were gonna see all day.

Macho Man Randy Savage died today

By brendon May 20, 2011 @ 2:08 PM







Macho Man Randy Savage, one of the most popular WWE superstars of all time, died this morning in a car accident near his home in Tampa, Florida. He was 58.

TMZ says Macho was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler when he had a heart attack, lost control of his car, and collided head-on with a tree. So at least he gave those around him one last thrill and a chance to scream. Although in this case it was the people on the sidewalk.

Monday morning headlines

By brendon December 27, 2010 @ 11:08 AM

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LITTLE FOCKERS won the weekend box office with a lower than expected $34 million, but the real story was that Gullivers Travels absolutely bombed, opening at number 7 with just $7.2 million. Actually “bomb” might not be a fitting description, because I’d much rather be in a room with an actual bomb than a Jack Black movie. (variety)

TENNA MARIE – died of natural causes over the weekend at age 54, and apparently this is a big deal but I’ve never heard of this chick in my life. Here’s her big hit song, and that thing is awful, so good riddance I say. (e!)

HUGH HEFNER – who is 84, is engaged to Playmate Crystal Harris, who is 24. As you can see they certainly make a darling couple. The secret to a good relationship: greed. (us)

gary coleman had a restraining order on his wife

By brendon June 22, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

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(note – this shit is depressing, so a hot girl with big tits sticking her tongue out sent me her picture to help in a “spoonful of sugar” kind of way)

Just in case there weren’t enough reasons to think Shannon Price killed her ex-husband Gary Coleman, Radar reports today that he secretly filed for a restringing order against her, and it proves that he considered her violent, vindictive, greedy, and dangerous. Oh, and he did it just a few months before he suffered a head wound that killed him.

…contradicting the picture that Price has painted of herself as a loving ex-wife, Coleman writes that Price “has shown a tendency to damage, destroy and steal my property and I believe she will continue to do so in my absence and while she is trespassing in my home.”
“I believe if she is given any warning of this pending order to require her to immediately vacate the home, she will cause more damage and destroy more irreplaceable memorabilia, documents, personal papers and other such valuables,” Coleman writes.
“I would therefore ask the Court to issue this order ex parte requiring her removal from the home and restraining her from going upon the premises of my home under any circumstances.”

The official documents were filed under John Doe VS. Jane Doe, which is why they weren’t discovered until now.

There’s presumably some awesome reason why the cops haven’t arrested this bitch yet, but Ill be damned if I can figure out what it is. When it comes to acting guilty, she’s done everything short of making the 911 call from a disposable liquor store cell phone while wearing a bulletproof vest and burning his clothes.