its michael jacksons 911 call

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 4:01 PM

Although difficult to understand at times, the call from the ambulance to the hospital that pronounced Michael Jackson dead on June 25th has leaked online, which is bad news for Dr. Conrad Murray, who claimed Jackson was only a little bit dead when the paramedics took him. The Sun says…

The recording is believed to feature a Los Angeles Fire Department medical worker calling the UCLA hospital. The voice says: “Patient is Michael Jackson, the pop star singer. No pulse, no breathing. Unresponsive. Tried to resuscitate him. Unsuccessful.
“We’ve done everything we can. We should be there in five minutes. It doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look good”

If genuine, the tape contradicts the claims of Dr Murray who says the star was still warm and had a pulse when he found Jacko and put him in the ambulance.

Whatever. I still want this dude for a doctor. He’ll give you sedatives normally kept under lock and key in case of a zombie attack and then lie to the cops for you if they ask about it. Name your price, Dr. Conrad.

brittany murphy could have been saved

By brendon February 04, 2010 @ 3:05 PM


The LA County Coroner has determined that Brittany Murphy died on Dec. 20 at the age of 32 due to pneumonia and an iron deficiency anemia exacerbated by multiple drug intoxication. A toxicology report detailing what those drugs might have been is complete but won’t be released for several weeks. Her death has been ruled an accident.

Unofficially it’s being reported that her pneumonia and anemia would not have killed her if she had received proper medical care in time. She didn’t, and when combined with her drug use, they became fatal.

Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia.

Well now I don’t know what to believe because last week her husband said, “She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. There are no drugs involved.” And he looks trustworthy to me. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s so stately and dignified looking, like a noble king from olden days. I just have a good feeling about him.

detective handsome has cracked the case

By brendon January 28, 2010 @ 12:05 PM

Brittany Murphy cracks a smile and kisses her husband at the air

Simon Monjack announced yesterday that he will file a wrongful death lawsuit against Warner Brothers, claiming they killed his wife Brittany Murphy by firing her from ‘Happy Feet 2’. He told the press…

“Does anyone here know … how to get the lids off these pudding cups? Because I’m pulling the tab, you can see the tab here, and all it does is pull away a strip of the foil down the middle. And then when I go to dip the sausage into it, it doesn’t fit in the pudding, and I have to, like, tear away the rest of the foil. Usually with a fork. A fork does the trick.”

You know what let’s just see what the Sun had to say instead.

SIMON MONJACK puts the 32-year-old’s fatal December heart attack down to the stress she suffered after Hollywood bigwigs scrapped her contract just two weeks before her demise.
He said: “They killed her. She was devastated.”

Really because I heard it was drugs.

“She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. Not a line of cocaine, not a hit from a joint, nothing. She was anti-drugs. There are no drugs involved.”

He must mean other than the mountain of prescription drugs in her nightstand when she died. This may be news to Monjack, but drugs are a form of drugs. The judge should take this case, look the paperwork over, call Monjack up to the bench, and then just punch him right in the face.

(source = splash news online)

now tila is :(

By brendon January 08, 2010 @ 3:25 PM


Grief sure is a roller coaster. Yesterday, just 5 days after her girlfriend died, Tila Tequila was on her lawn, flashing her boobs and smiling as she posed for pictures in front of the paparazzi. And lots of people made fun of her for it. But then later she was crying. And taking pictures of it. And posting them on Twitter.

My bed is so empty without her now. I cant live here alone anymore! Losing my mind…

Well it seems I owe Tila an apology. I thought she cared more about fame than her dead girlfriend, but candid pictures that you take when you’re alone don’t lie. Even the most jaded skeptic would concede that this would be impossible to fake. It takes a big man to admit he’s made a mistake, but hey, when you’re wrong you’re wrong. I hope she can forgive me.

fuck you ashton kutcher

By brendon December 21, 2009 @ 10:42 AM


Ashton Kutcher dated Brittany Murphy for almost two years, and they never went public with it but they might have even been engaged before breaking up in 2003, so when the shocking news of her untimely death broke yesterday, he composed himself long enough to write a touching eulogy, in 140 characters or less.

“2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon.”

Don’t dry your tears yet because then he added…

“see you on the other side kid.”

Wow. What a jackass. He turns 32 in just about a month, but he still writes with numbers, just like the young people do. And by “young people” I mean, “12-year-olds.” You’d think he’d be a little kinder. In a month Brittany will be nothing but a skeleton with loose wrinkled skin, and since he’s married to one of those already, I thought that’s what he liked.

1977 – 2009

By brendon December 20, 2009 @ 3:59 PM


Brittany Murphy died of a heart attack this morning. She was just 32 years old. The New York Daily News writes:

She went into full cardiac arrest early Sunday and could not be revived.
The Los Angeles City Fire Department got a call from the home of Murphy’s husband Simon Monjack about 8 a.m.
She was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead on arrival.

It would be hard to describe Brittany’s behavior the past few years kindly. Increasingly odd choices took her life in a strange direction, and as far back as 2005 people were talking privately about an addiction to heroin and a sexual compulsion. It didn’t help when Ted Casablanca of E! Online wrote this thinly veiled blind item:

“If I were you, I wouldn’t invite Jordache Junky to your son’s bar mitzvah. She might lure him into a stairwell and do him. Now, don’t get me wrong, girlfriends. Most boys would be thrilled to get into J2′s prissy undies. I mean, she’s been in, like, a million movies, many of which young boys just worship.That’s why I can’t believe what she pulled at a Hollywood bash last week. Gulp. There’s no delicate way to put it, so here goes: J.J. banged a cater-waiter. And she didn’t take him home in a doggie bag. Nope, J.J. jumped this dude’s bones in the damn stairwell.”

Murphy was the spokesmodel for Jordache at the time.  Jordache + heroin = Jordache Junky.  Her legal team wrote a swift and long winded denial, even though she was never actually named in Casablancas post.

It’s not clear yet why a seemingly healthy 32-year-old would have a heart attack (drugs), but the previous rumors may give a hint (it was drugs).  The details to come in the next few days will probably not be kind (drugs), so I chose to remember how good she was in things like ‘Sin City’ and as Luann on ‘King of the Drugs’.