Tori Spelling Making More Babies

Tori Spelling is having yet another child because her horny husband needs to fuck somebody. Her reality show profile is broke-ass cheated on wifewith anxiety disorders and an arm still fried from going bushwhack on a Benihana hibachi. Makes sense to bring another child into this world to suckle on the left teat then travel ten paces to find the right. This isn't like those Catholic women on my block growing up who...read more

Tori Spelling Tried Some Kinky Shit to Keep Dean Interested (VIDEO)

I don't care if it's a request for basic bit of shtupping or some kinky ass shit she heard from a sex doctor on Sirius, you never turn down a woman. It's like a Japanese sushi chef requesting you sample his signature roll. You turn that toro away and you might as well draw swords. Unlike men who dangle their cocks in the pond waiting for anything to latch on, women feel vulnerable when they initiate sex. If your...read more

Dean McDermott Faces Another Challenge In His Marriage To Tori Spelling (VIDEO)

The main theme of True Tori has been that Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are trying to work through his infidelity and addictions so they can continue to have a good marriage and make enough money on TV shows so she doesn't have to sell their crap to strangers anymore. In the latest clip for this awful show, Dean has been offered a chance to return to Toronto for the second season of Chopped: Canada, but that's...read more

Dean McDermott Gets Tori Some Lingerie

It's always a little awkward as a man shopping for the little lady in a lingerie store alone. Even if you had some idea what she might like, you have no clue what might fit her. If you're Dean McDermott, you're stuck there awkwardly pantomiming for a sales girl, 'Yeah, she's about your height, but with big ole crater tits, and she's somewhat slight, like that China girl they tried to kick out of Yale, if she was in a...read more

Dean McDermott Had The Best Reason For Cheating On Tori Spelling (VIDEO)

Tori Spelling's troubled husband, Dean McDermott, claims that he has a brain that "wants him dead" in the latest clip from Lifetime's "docu-series" True Tori, which tells the scripted and money-needing story of this married couple struggling to get past Dean's addictions and infidelity. But before we can move on and rebuild, we need to know why Dean even cheated in the first place, especially when he has such an...read more

Tori Spelling Just Isn't Enough In Bed (VIDEO)

Thanks to Oprah Winfrey taking advantage of Lindsay Lohan's pathetic desperation for money and attention, the "docu-series" is the hot new way of referring to a washed up celebrity's reality show without making it sound like she'd eat shit off a sidewalk for $100. Lifetime gave Tori Spelling, who admitted not too long ago that she basically pissed away all of her money, a new "docu-series" to tell her story almost as...read more

Tori Spelling's Husband Is Headed to Rehab

I bet if they changed the name 'rehab' to 'giant pussy convalescent center' less celebrities would issue heartfelt public statements about heading off to Malibu for three weeks of cigarettes and counseling. Tori Spelling's husband is going, though it's not exactly clear why. Still, it's part of the Hollywood contrition cycle, so he issued a statement: I take full responsibility for my actions and have voluntarily...read more

Tori Spelling's Boobs Could Use a Shot of Super Soldier Serum

I bet Tori Spelling is feeling pretty stupid about ditching her first husband, banging a married Canadian and convincing him to drop his wife to make fresh babies inside of her. Or maybe not. Because her next five life-story books are going to be even better than her last five now that baby-making Dean McDermott has apparently moved out of their house (not the one they were evicted from, the other one they snuck into)...read more

Tori Spelling's Husband Might've Made A Baby With The Chick He Banged

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to impregnate women not our wives. That crazy Dean McDermott just can't quit making babies. His last wife, his current wife, random Canadian chicks in hotel rooms who can't find real celebrities to make them feel empty and used. A source close to the aptly named Emily Goodhand who Dean banged in a Toronto hotel room in between Celebrity Chopped promos confirms the...read more

Tori Spelling's Husband Is a Dick

Fuck you, Dean McDermott. Mostly for making me feel bad for Tori Spelling. I'd like to heap a whole lot of condolences into her gaping chest maw this morning after reading of her husband cheating on her. Generally, I could care less who sleeps around with who. Married, unmarried, people get horny and lonely and pissed off and greedy and all those other lesser angel crap that makes them do things at night they probably...read more