I bet if they changed the name ‘rehab’ to ‘giant pussy convalescent center’ less celebrities would issue heartfelt public statements about heading off to Malibu for three weeks of cigarettes and counseling. Tori Spelling’s husband is going, though it’s... READ MORE

I bet Tori Spelling is feeling pretty stupid about ditching her first husband, banging a married Canadian and convincing him to drop his wife to make fresh babies inside of her. Or maybe not. Because her next five life-story... READ MORE

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to impregnate women not our wives. That crazy Dean McDermott just can’t quit making babies. His last wife, his current wife, random Canadian chicks in hotel rooms who... READ MORE

Fuck you, Dean McDermott. Mostly for making me feel bad for Tori Spelling. I’d like to heap a whole lot of condolences into her gaping chest maw this morning after reading of her husband cheating on her. Generally, I... READ MORE