Demi Moore just filed for alimony support against Ashton Kutcher in their divorce proceedings. Since Demi Moore is worth a boatload of cash, take this legal move as a big fuck you to Ashton who cheated on Demi with between one and four-hundred and twenty-seven other women, driving Demi to become a Whip-It fiend.
Michael Jordan filed for a marriage license this week to make it all legal with his new squeeze. The last love of his life wife Juanita got $168 million in a divorce settlement that included testimony from the vaginas of dozens of women not his wife. Despite the massive payout, Jordan figures, what the hell, why not take a voluntary dip back into those waters. Dumbass.
There are many things in life that are mandatory, but marriage isn’t one of them. It’s a completely voluntary act that for some reason men with fame, money, and the ability to have endless amounts of sex with tons of women, still enter into willingly despite the immense odds that they will eventually be ass-raped in for their ode to romance. Why?
It’s okay to think with your dick. Just don’t let it start signing contracts.
If you thought that the relationship between Demi Moore, who is 50, and Vito Schnabel, who is 26, was doomed to fail, it turns out you were right. So congratulations, you’re a monster who judges people based solely on appearance, but at least you’re good at it.
Did you ever go to a dance in junior high dance and the chaperones starting dancing too and it freaked everyone out? Well this is like that. Especially since… is that the twist, is she doing the twist? Holy fuck, how old are you, Demi? What, was there not enough room for the Charleston, you damn weirdo?
(image source of demi, stacey keibler and lenny kravitz at the chanel party at soho house in miami = splash)
Ashton Kutcher has been criticized lately because he’s essentially done nothing to show any kind of support for Demi Moore since she was hospitalized last week, but keep in mind that Ashton Kutcher is a jackass. Seems unrealistic to think that was just gonna magically stop now.
Thankfully, E! says he’s finally found time in his busy schedule to swing by.
On Wednesday, Bruce Willis was spotted paying a visit to (Demi). Later in the day … Ashton Kutcher was seen pulling into the actress’ driveway in a blacked-out Lexus.
That’s not a bad impulse actually. Just do that Ashton. Just follow Bruce Willis around and do whatever he does, since he seems to know what he’s doing, and you’re practically retarded.
Had he played his cards right, 24-year-old Zac Efron could have been the next young Hollywood hunk having three-ways with 49-year-old Demi Moore. Or, played his cards wrong, whichever the case may be.
“(Demi) has been really down (since separating from Ashton Kutcher), and she’s surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better,” an insider tells Us magazine.
One of Moore’s favorite young stars to party with — and flirt with — is daughter Rumer Willis’s longtime friend Zac Efron, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33.
A wired, gaunt Moore “tracked down” Efron at a party in Venice. “She seemed out of her mind at this party.”
So this could have been just like the scene in ‘New Years Eve’ when Zac kissed Michelle Pfeiffer, except this time, the game is for real!!!
It was a real wake-up call when Demi Moore collapsed Monday night, because if someone as strong and vibrant as Demi could pass-out, then it could literally happen to anyone.
But now the audio from that 9-1-1 call has been released, and it turns out her friends saw her smoking something which may have caused all this. Either salvia or potpourri from the sounds of it.
Explains the caller: “She smoked something. It’s not marijuana…It’s similar to incense. She seems to be having convulsions.”
When asked if Moore was breathing normally, the caller replies, “No, not so normal…[She's] shaking…burning up.”
The unidentified woman adds that Moore “has been having some issues lately.”
That had to be a scary time for Demi. And today won’t be much better since the operator spent 80 percent of the call giving out Demis address, directions to her house, and how to get in.
After they said it for the 90th time, I deduced that she lives at 9740 Oak Pass Road in Beverly Hills. Here. Just take Benedict Canyon to Hutton; her house is the second right. I’d hate for Megan Fox to have to call 9-1-1, but if she did and got this guy, that would be terrific.