If you thought that the relationship between Demi Moore, who is 50, and Vito Schnabel, who is 26, was doomed to fail, it turns out you were right. So congratulations, you’re a monster who judges people based solely on appearance, but at least you’re good at it.

It was a real wake-up call when Demi Moore collapsed Monday night, because if someone as strong and vibrant as Demi could pass-out, then it could literally happen to anyone.

But now the audio from that 9-1-1 call has been released, and it turns out her friends saw her smoking something which may have caused all this. Either salvia or potpourri from the sounds of it.

Explains the caller: “She smoked something. It’s not marijuana…It’s similar to incense. She seems to be having convulsions.”
When asked if Moore was breathing normally, the caller replies, “No, not so normal…[She's] shaking…burning up.”
The unidentified woman adds that Moore “has been having some issues lately.”

That had to be a scary time for Demi. And today won’t be much better since the operator spent 80 percent of the call giving out Demis address, directions to her house, and how to get in.

After they said it for the 90th time, I deduced that she lives at 9740 Oak Pass Road in Beverly Hills. Here. Just take Benedict Canyon to Hutton; her house is the second right. I’d hate for Megan Fox to have to call 9-1-1, but if she did and got this guy, that would be terrific.