Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Might Be Engaged

By Travis November 06, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Now that his divorce from Demi Moore is almost complete, and the 50-year old actress is done actually taking part of his large fortune thanks to no pre-nup, Ashton Kutcher is free to take his relationship with Mila Kunis to the next level. Despite reports that Ashton and Mila were already secretly engaged, the Daily Mail claims that Ashton is now set to propose and make an honest woman out of his former That 70s Show star. And if his proposal will be anything like his acting career, it will be shallow, obnoxious, emotionless and totally void of any passion, reality and honesty. So best of luck to Ashton and Mila on this practice effort for their next marriages.

Photo Credit: TNYF/WENN.com

Demi Moore Won’t Be Getting More Divorce Cash

By Jack October 31, 2013 @ 2:47 PM

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s unnatural marriage is finally over and Ashton will not have to support the old crone financially. The divorce has been in a nasty back and forth for a couple of years now. Demi wanted spousal support from Ashton because he cheated on her and she hasn’t made a movie anybody cared about since 1992. The judge said that since they were married in California, which is a no fault state, he doesn’t have to pay shit. Furthermore she isn’t entitled to any of that Two and a Half Men fortune. Poor Demi. She made $90 million off of her divorce from Bruce Willis. I guess all she got out of this marriage was the dude from Punk’d slopping away on top of her while imagining he was inside Mila Kunis. I guess that’s still more than most women get.

Why Do Celebrity Dudes Get Married?

By Johnny Redd March 08, 2013 @ 6:36 PM

Demi Moore just filed for alimony support against Ashton Kutcher in their divorce proceedings. Since Demi Moore is worth a boatload of cash, take this legal move as a big fuck you to Ashton who cheated on Demi with between one and four-hundred and twenty-seven other women, driving Demi to become a Whip-It fiend.

Michael Jordan filed for a marriage license this week to make it all legal with his new squeeze. The last love of his life wife Juanita got $168 million in a divorce settlement that included testimony from the vaginas of dozens of women not his wife. Despite the massive payout, Jordan figures, what the hell, why not take a voluntary dip back into those waters. Dumbass.

There are many things in life that are mandatory, but marriage isn’t one of them. It’s a completely voluntary act that for some reason men with fame, money, and the ability to have endless amounts of sex with tons of women, still enter into willingly despite the immense odds that they will eventually be ass-raped in for their ode to romance. Why?

It’s okay to think with your dick. Just don’t let it start signing contracts.

Demi Moore got dumped again

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 12:44 PM

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If you thought that the relationship between Demi Moore, who is 50, and Vito Schnabel, who is 26, was doomed to fail, it turns out you were right. So congratulations, you’re a monster who judges people based solely on appearance, but at least you’re good at it.

Demi Moore is quite a dancer

By brendon December 06, 2012 @ 5:24 PM

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Did you ever go to a dance in junior high dance and the chaperones starting dancing too and it freaked everyone out? Well this is like that. Especially since… is that the twist, is she doing the twist? Holy fuck, how old are you, Demi? What, was there not enough room for the Charleston, you damn weirdo?

(image source of demi, stacey keibler and lenny kravitz at the chanel party at soho house in miami = splash)

Ashton has finally visited Demi

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 7:26 PM

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Ashton Kutcher has been criticized lately because he’s essentially done nothing to show any kind of support for Demi Moore since she was hospitalized last week, but keep in mind that Ashton Kutcher is a jackass. Seems unrealistic to think that was just gonna magically stop now.

Thankfully, E! says he’s finally found time in his busy schedule to swing by.

On Wednesday, Bruce Willis was spotted paying a visit to (Demi). Later in the day … Ashton Kutcher was seen pulling into the actress’ driveway in a blacked-out Lexus.

That’s not a bad impulse actually. Just do that Ashton. Just follow Bruce Willis around and do whatever he does, since he seems to know what he’s doing, and you’re practically retarded.