The last time there were bikini pictures of Denise Richards, she once again kept her stupid denim shorts on, and so I summoned up my courage and said I’d had it with her non-ass showing shenanigans. Then I posted pictures of different girls who weren’t so stuck up. It’s part of my tough love program. And now, well what do we have here? Denise with her pants off and all wet, looking hot again. Mariah Carey was right, I am a hero, in fact we all are in our own special way.
(7 more pics here. 3 bonus pics because it would have been a shame to crop them here and here and here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)
Denise Richards hit up the beaches in Hawaii again today, and again she dragged her dumb kids around and never took off her shorts. So if she’s not gonna bother to care about these pictures I’m not sure why the hell I would. Especially when last night was the 2009 Face of Origin pageant in England or maybe Australia. Oh I know. Can you believe it’s been a year already? Time sure does fly when you don’t know what the hell is going on. The big favorite of course was Rachel Burr, but could she live up to the hype and take the crown? The answer is a definitive, “yes presumably. If that is indeed her kissing the trophy. The caption wasn’t all that clear.”
(12 more pics here. hq jump here. source = getty and pacific coast)
JON AND KATE PLUS 8 - the new season began just 4 weeks ago, and TLC planned on 40 new episodes this year, but the show is now going on hiatus until August. This should give Jon and Kate time to repair their relationship, as long as Jon is willing to talk, and “Kate” is recast by someone who isn’t a condescending bitch. (source = star)
TRANSFORMERS - is racist. “These new robots … have a simian appearance, with wide faces and huge ears. One of them has a gold bucktooth. They (talk) in some sort of modern day rap-age jive, calling each other ‘bitch-ass’ or ‘punk,’ talking with an exaggerated, crunked-up ’street’ accent. They appear to be stoned all the time. And they can’t read. (They) are completely illiterate … Simply put they are offensive beyond measure.” Why stop there? Why not have them date two overweight white robots, and maybe a scene where Optimus can’t find them for the battle at noon because they’re still asleep. (source = chud)
DENISE RICHARDS - is in Hawaii with the kids she had with Charlie Sheen. Those kids are doomed. We should bleed them, give them a complete transfusion, see if that get’s all the crappy genetics out of them. Get blood from someone good. Maybe make it from Paul Newman DNA. I don’t know if that would work but I think we should try.
(7 more pics here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)
DENISE RICHARDS IS DOING GREAT – the first pictures of Denise Richards starring in a Bollywood movie are making the rounds today, and I've never seen an entire Indian movie, but I like to assume they’re all still like this. Because I’m incredibly racist.
MATTHEW MCCAUGHEY IS DOING EVEN BETTER – "Surfer, Dude" was the movie Matthew was filming when he was running around shirtless every day a few months ago. And tomorrow it gets released on DVD. It's skipping theaters (mostly) and going right to DVD. One reason for the movies failure might be because MM was cast as a baked surfer, and therefore almost certainly had no idea whatsoever that he was in a movie or why these cameras were following him.
ED WESTWICK IS CLEARLY GAY – "Gossip Girl" star Ed Westwick had a chance to meet David Beckham but he was too flustered and overcome with emotion to say hello. The only way that could sound any gayer is if when he saw Becks, he put the back of his hand on his forehead then fell backwards, then made a little fan out of a flyer as he tried to catch his breath.
JENNIFAA YOPEZ IS NOT GETTING A DIVORCE – JelLo is now denying reports that she is set to get a divorce. In related news, no one gives a shit either way.
Remember the rumor that Denise Richards used to be a call girl for Heidi Fleiss? That’s not really relevant to anything but still it was pretty cool. Anyway, yesterday some voice mails left by her ex Charlie Sheen magically appeared online. And the guy who once told her to "go cry to your bald mom you fuckin loser" while her mom was receiving chemotherapy is still as charming as ever. He apologized yesterday, but on the voice mail he said…
"Yeah, I just got your other email and I’m a little confused because you told me that was something you only told a couple of people and this and that and I just, again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky, and you're a fucking liar. Okay? You're a fucking liar. So, you know what it's like, fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You're a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You're a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright, so fuck you."
Well at least he hasn’t burned any bridges. I still think these two can work it out.
Last night on the Denise Richards reality show, Denise ended things by calling People magazine reporter Lycia Naff a "cunt". And quite frankly Naff deserved it because she sat there smirking like an ass and blowing her off while Richards was trying to explain something. I would have called her a cunt too. Then I would have bonked her on the head and ripped open her shirt to reveal her terrible secret. Lycia Naff is actually … THIS WOMAN! Dun-dun-dun!!! That’s right. Lycia Naff was the hooker with three boobs in "Total Recall". Eat my righteous fists, Future Whore!
