MICHAEL VICK - will have a reality show on BET to chronicle his life since being released from prison. It will be “serious and somber” and “revisit the Virginia property where he ran and financed a dogfighting ring.” This show sounds fun. I like shows where, after they’re over, I sit in my bath tub hugging my knees and crying. (la times)
DINA LOHAN - has a new line of shoes, called Shoe-Han. “Lo” and “shoe” don’t rhyme of course, but when you have a name people associate with drunken whores and hastily thrown together money grabs, you’d be wise to mention it on your product. (page six)
TINA FEY - will bring back her Salin Palin impression now that Palin has written a book, giving Fey all new material to not be funny with. (ny daily news)
SOPHIE READE - won Big Brother 10 in the UK, and yesterday hosted the opening of a new Ann Summers store. I don’t know what this is, but considering she’s in a bra strong enough to contain her massive tits, I assume Anne Summers is some kind of weapons grade lingerie store. (21 more here. hq jump here. source = getty and wenn)
If you think there’s no bias against the Lohans, maybe you can explain how people are always saying parents should spend time with their kids, yet when Dina brought her 15-year-old daughter to a bar, THEY REFUSED TO LET HER IN! What is this, Russia?!?!
When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports. “Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age. “You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.
Oh what! I hope that dude enjoyed his job. Management is gonna be pissed when they find out he didn’t let in a minor who is closer to 12 than 21. He better hope they only fire him, and don't sue, or even kill, him.
The most amazing thing about this clip from yesterdays "The View" is that Dina Lohan is still claiming that her daughter Lindsay is pretty much an average 21-year-old, and her problems are the kind of things “we all did” at 21. Like, remember the time we went to rehab for the third time when we were 20? My goodness! We laugh about it now, but in hindsight I guess it was pretty serious. Or when we partied away a million dollar Hollywood career because instead of working and studying, we decided it would be more fun to get drunk and high and fuck a couple hundred guys, then later we decided we were gay. What a cliché we were!
The only question that remains now is, can Dina fuck up her second daughter’s life as completely as she fucked up the first? I think I'm gonna find some crazy online sports book and bet that, yes, she can. I can’t explain it, I’ve just got a lucky feeling.
God only knows how or why, but the reality show starring Dina, Alli and Codi Lohan is set to air on E! this summer. The premise of the show is that maybe one day Lindsay will show up unannounced while wearing something slutty. "Oh please god call Lindsay", said one of the producers probably. People magazine says:
Tentatively titled Living Lohan, E! (and) debuting this summer, the series will follow the Lohan matriarch as she juggles family life with business, attempting to launch 14-year-old daughter Ali’s entertainment career. Like her famous sister, Ali wants to sing and act – and plans to record songs at Las Vegas’ Palms Casino on the show. The program will also focus on Lindsay’s 11-year-old brother Cody and Michael, 20, who is in college. “The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” Lisa Berger of E! said in a statement. “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”
In defense of all the other moms who struggle to balance family life with business as well as Dina, keep in mind it's much easier if you do a horrible job and raise a bunch of fuckups. If you don't actually do anything, parenting and a career is a snap. Raising a daughter who sleeps around and is in an out of rehab and jail a half dozen times before the age of 21 isn't as hard as you may have thought. "Let's not get all crazy about this" seems to be Dinas parenting motto.
Is it any wonder Lindsay Lohan is a damn mess. Her mom Dina is even more of a train wreck than she is. Todays Page Six says:
(Dina was) spotted in a "really short dress and boots," made some fellow diners at Kobe Club lose their appetites Wednesday night. A guy sitting next to Dina was "all over her," we're told. "Dina had a napkin in her lap and hiked up her dress," our source says. "The guy put his hand under her napkin … It went on for like five minutes."
At least she had the decency to wear a dress. She probably wanted to wear Daisy Dukes and some mirrored cop sunglasses. She probably thinks she’s some hot MILF, when in reality you could get a hotter piece of ass by calling the phone number on a bathroom wall. Especially if you call the one that says “for a hot time call Brendon”.
