Dita Von Teese Not Boxed In

By Matt October 22, 2014 @ 7:17 AM


When you are known solely for banging celebrities and stripping your clothes off it goes without saying you’ve gone down on a few chicks. Dita Von Teese felt the need to clarify she is no longer into pussy, most likely because whoever she’s currently blowing is a jealous dipshit who pressured her into saying this and just derailed a steamy FFM session. Rest assured having made sweet love to a bevy of women doesn’t make you a lesbian, much like having blown a few dudes in college doesn’t make you gay. Wait, one of those must be wrong:

“I feel like that’s something I experimented with when I was younger. I think knowing myself, I realized that it was something I was doing experimentally or because I thought it was cool. But I’m not a lesbian.”

I know the Von Teese type. They’ll do anything that involves their lady parts getting attention to momentarily quell the voices of inadequacy in their heads. That doesn’t really make you a lesbian or a pansexual or whatever category Facebook comes up with next. It just means you are DTF whatever half decent thing walks in the door. So, essentially, you’re a man.

Photo Credit: Instagram



Dita Von Teese Flashes Nipple In The July 2014 Issue Of Flaunt Magazine

By Lex July 15, 2014 @ 7:46 AM

Dita Von Teese Flashes Nipple In The July 2014 Issue Of Flaunt Magazine

Photo Credit: Flaunt Magazine

Dita Von Teese Looking Chesty With Her Creepy Boyfriend At Coachella

By Lex April 21, 2014 @ 10:10 AM

Dita Von Teese Looking Chesty With Her Creepy Boyfriend At Coachella

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Dita Von Teese Wants Women To Smell Nicer

By Travis November 22, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Because the world doesn’t have enough generic fragrances made for celebrities who want to pretend they had any input in them, Dita Von Teese debuted her fourth perfume, Erotique, at a store in West Hollywood last night. I guess it’s a pretty impressive feat that this is her fourth fragrance, because I can’t imagine that women are buying her other three brands if they smell like assholes. Then again, the Kardashians could probably bottle their farts, call it something stupid like “Kardassian” and people would clean the shelves of every Sears from here to Little Rock, so what the hell do I know?

Photo Credits: revolutionpix/WENN.com

Tuesday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 15, 2013 @ 6:55 PM


JESSICA SIMPSON – is in talks with NBC for a sitcom that “would feature Simpson playing a version of herself in a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style look at her life”. And it can’t possibly fail because improv is the perfect vehicle for this quick-witted legend of comedy. (tv guide)

RUSSELL CROWE – might be dating “burlesque goddess” Dita Von Teese, who has somehow totally escaped her past as a “spread-eagle girl having sex with a popsicle goddess”. For the record, it might not be the best idea in the world for a guy with his temper to date a girl who is super super pale.(page six)

BEN AFFLECK – will have a tough time winning the Oscar for Best Picture even though his movie ‘Argo’ just won the Golden Globe for Best Picture. His best bet is for lots of old voters to think they’re voting for ‘Fargo’. (huff post)

TAYLOR SWIFT – has a crush on Bradley Cooper, so she had Jennifer Lawrence ask Bradley if he wanted to go out with her. The response: “Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor.” So then Taylor asked, “What does he mean ‘no intention‘? So he really wants to date me but thinks you can’t plan love? Oh my gaad, why do guys always have to play these games, why can’t they just be honest!” (radar)

MICHELLE KEEGAN – is an English actress in the new issue of Zoo, and she’s in a bikini but who cares about that? What I wanna know is if her eyes are the same size, and what insect does her eyebrow look like? This magazine is really out of touch.