Dita Von Teese Wants Women To Smell Nicer

By Travis November 22, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Because the world doesn’t have enough generic fragrances made for celebrities who want to pretend they had any input in them, Dita Von Teese debuted her fourth perfume, Erotique, at a store in West Hollywood last night. I guess it’s a pretty impressive feat that this is her fourth fragrance, because I can’t imagine that women are buying her other three brands if they smell like assholes. Then again, the Kardashians could probably bottle their farts, call it something stupid like “Kardassian” and people would clean the shelves of every Sears from here to Little Rock, so what the hell do I know?

Photo Credits: revolutionpix/WENN.com

Tuesday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 15, 2013 @ 6:55 PM

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JESSICA SIMPSON – is in talks with NBC for a sitcom that “would feature Simpson playing a version of herself in a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style look at her life”. And it can’t possibly fail because improv is the perfect vehicle for this quick-witted legend of comedy. (tv guide)

RUSSELL CROWE – might be dating “burlesque goddess” Dita Von Teese, who has somehow totally escaped her past as a “spread-eagle girl having sex with a popsicle goddess”. For the record, it might not be the best idea in the world for a guy with his temper to date a girl who is super super pale.(page six)

BEN AFFLECK – will have a tough time winning the Oscar for Best Picture even though his movie ‘Argo’ just won the Golden Globe for Best Picture. His best bet is for lots of old voters to think they’re voting for ‘Fargo’. (huff post)

TAYLOR SWIFT – has a crush on Bradley Cooper, so she had Jennifer Lawrence ask Bradley if he wanted to go out with her. The response: “Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor.” So then Taylor asked, “What does he mean ‘no intention‘? So he really wants to date me but thinks you can’t plan love? Oh my gaad, why do guys always have to play these games, why can’t they just be honest!” (radar)

MICHELLE KEEGAN – is an English actress in the new issue of Zoo, and she’s in a bikini but who cares about that? What I wanna know is if her eyes are the same size, and what insect does her eyebrow look like? This magazine is really out of touch.