Courtney Stodden’s Freakishly Large Breasts Drove Doug Hutchison Away

By Travis November 13, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

With the entire world still in disbelief over the fact that love is truly dead after Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison announced their separation, Courtney was quickly and conveniently in front of a camera to tell E! all about what went wrong. According to the 19-year old who looks like she’s late 30s at best, Doug simply couldn’t put up with the constant changes that Courtney was making to her body, from her stupidly massive fake tits to something as trivial as her ridiculously fake blonde hair extensions.

“He was so in love with me and he was, like, ‘You’re beautiful the way you are,’ kind of like the au naturel, organic thing,” Stodden told E!, adding “He was like, ‘You’re beautifully organically, why would you change something that’s perfect?’ Amazing that they spent all of this money on unnecessary surgeries and procedures for her and they never once thought to get Doug’s eyes fixed.

Photo Credits: Winston Burris/

Courtney Stodden Is Splitting from Her Grandpa

By Lex November 04, 2013 @ 1:06 PM

It seems like just yesterday a 15-adjacent-year-old Courtney Stodden was in an online chat room hooking up with Lost actor Doug Hutchison, the beginning of a desperately romantic relationship between spent, dirty old man and ambitious creepy looking blown-out blond teen. The kind of shit that goes on most nights along the Boulevard but you only ever hear about when the girl ends up found garroted in a drainage ditch. Now, it’s all over.

“Doug knew he was taking a risk with the marriage, but he genuinely fell in love with Courtney and didn’t realize how much his life would be changed after they got married. She is branching out and doing her own thing and Doug is getting left behind.” — a source to RadarOnline.

By branching out, I assume they mean Courtney turning herself into a haggard looking stripper freak show. What’s a pedophile to do? You can’t get it up to that shit coming at you in a rayon nightie.

Damn It, Courtney Stodden Came Back

By Travis September 24, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Well, it was fun to dream. After her failed run on the UK’s version of Celebrity Big Brother, Courtney Stodden claimed that she was going to stay in London for a while and explore some work opportunities. Apparently that just meant she’d get hammered and have one photo shoot, because otherwise it looks like she’s given up being a nobody in England so she could come back home and pick up where she left off in America, being a punchline. What will be next for Courtney and her husband, Doug Hutchison? Probably an appearance on Celebrity Boxing followed by a ruptured implant lawsuit.

(Photo Credits: revolutionpix/

Courtney Stodden’s Husband Stayed Out Past His Bedtime

By Travis September 23, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Courtney Stodden’s London invasion continued yesterday, albeit with far less intoxication than the last time. Instead, Courtney had a photo shoot for reasons unknown, but I’m sure that it has something to do with her trying to become a Page 3 girl, despite the fact that she won’t pose completely nude and she’s not nearly as attractive as most of those models. This time she had her husband, Doug Hutchison, with her, either because he was worried that she’d get fall down drunk with some random guy again or she promised him some tapioca pudding.

Photo Credits: PCN, Zibi/

Courtney Stodden Got Hammered In London

By Travis September 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Courtney Stodden’s reign of terror in the United Kingdom continued last night, as she partied at the Whiskey Mist nightclub in London with one of her former Celebrity Big Brother castmates who looked old enough to be Doug Hutchison’s actual wife. But when it was time to head back to the hotel, the important question became, “Who’s the guy holding Courtney up and why is he so worried about the cameras?” My guess? That’s the guy Courtney chose when Doug told her to go have sex with someone else so people would keep talking about them. Frankly, I’m a little shocked. This could was already long overdue for a cheating scandal.

(Photo Credits:

Courtney Stodden Sex Tape; Ain’t Like They Used to Be (VIDEO)

By Lex July 27, 2013 @ 2:36 AM

This is the so-called Courtney Stodden sex tape. No backdoor action. Just Courtney Stodden talking about how she wants to have tons more sex with grandpa and grandpa talking about how when he first hooked up with Courtney they had sex daily. You know how it is when you start banging a girl who just turned sixteen. The fire within. I barfed a little then got mostly really bored. And then waited to watch the loveologist hand them a check for pretending to be interested in the mindless cliches she was spouting. Honestly, couldn’t either of them have just plowed Courtney in the rump?