Drake Repulsed By Old Woman’s Tongue (VIDEO)

April 14, 2015 | video | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Madonna joined Drake on stage at Coachella and kissed him on the mouth, causing him to gag and wretch and talk to Jewish Jesus and then immediately go get his dick sucked by a nineteen year old pixie dust spreader.... READ MORE

Drake Narrowly Avoids Cherp Herps And Shit Around The Web

January 28, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Former Canadian teen dramatist Drake supposedly struck out with Lebanese porn star Mia Khalifa. She was moved by his music, but less impressed with the not black part of his junk. He’ll likely create a new rap that shades the... READ MORE

Drake’s Dad Is Dirty Old Man

January 23, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Drake’s old ass dad, who’s name is Dennis Graham, spends all his time drinking and soliciting handsy photos with any piece of ass in his diminished line of sight and then posting them. Outside of that he is apparently an... READ MORE

Drake Crashes The Stage (VIDEO)

January 8, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Comedian Red Grant was on stage doing an impression of Drake at The Comedy Store which entailed dancing nondescriptly to one of Drake’s songs. It is unknown whether he was doing this precisely because Drake was in the audience... READ MORE

Diddy Punches Drake, Nobody Dies, There Is No Santa

December 9, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rap music was always good for some murders between disrespecting douchebags with bad chin hair and questionable upbringings. Now the best you get is a Twitter feud, maybe a bottle tossing incident at a club with underaged Kardashians if you’re... READ MORE

Drake Better Than The Beatles

October 6, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

In stunning confirmation of Satan’s plan to unleash mediocre hacks onto earth to diminish our cultural standards, Drake surpassed The Beatles in number of Top 100 hits. Few over the age of fourteen would argue with a straight face... READ MORE

Rihanna Is The Devil And Shit Around The Web

August 6, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Canadian douche rapper Drake put up a picture of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna with the numbers 666 superimposed on her badger face during one of his shitty concerts. Rappers have basically become the guys who can’t let go of office... READ MORE

Drake And Macklemore Shot Into Space And Shit Around The Web

July 17, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

The inexplicably popular Drake used his forum as host of the ESPYs to throw shade at Macklemore. He’s still jealous that the talentless shitburger beat him at the Grammys to which he wore his very neatest suit. I wish... READ MORE

Drake Is Simply The Boy Who Loves Too Much

May 20, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Last week, rapper Drake and his on again/off again girlfriend Rihanna reportedly ended things again because he “loves her too much,” which is the sort of thing that is said about a guy before he’s sent away to prison... READ MORE

Drake Is Officially Plowing Rihanna

March 17, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Canadian chode Drake is now officially and exclusively dating Rihanna. The two annoying superstars have been rumored to be hooking up for a while. This has reportedly caused tension between Drake and Rihanna’s former lover, Chris Brown, who thinks... READ MORE


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