Presidents Day headlines

By brendon February 18, 2013 @ 3:38 PM

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CHARLIE SHEEN – will pay the $10,000 needed to buy a golden retriever specially trained to turn on lights, pick up objects, and other everyday situations, for a 15-year-old girl (that he has never met) who was crippled in an accident. In a related story, I waved someone though in traffic today. I’M AN AMAZING MAN! (nydn)

MAYA RUDOLPH – is pregnant for the fourth time. Which beats the number of times I assumed anyone (much less the brilliant Paul Thomas Anderson) would have sex with her by 4. (hollywood reporter)

JERRY BUSS – has owned the Lakers since 1979, during which the team won an amazing 10 championships, died today at the age of 80. Kobe Bryant will try several dozen times but eventually miss the funeral. (la times)

DREW BARRYMORE didn’t wear any makeup to visit an art gallery in Beverly Hills with her husband Will Kopelman, who had to be thrilled by the endless reminders that even ordinary things can be kinda pretty if someone adds some color and applies even the slightest bit of fucking effort. (fame/flynet)

Drew Barrymores still got it

By brendon May 01, 2012 @ 5:43 PM

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Speaking of shapeless lumps named Drew that no rational person would ever consider sexy, Drew Barrymore had a photo shoot at the Huntington Library in San Marino yesterday.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Drew Barrymore is getting married

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 6:55 PM

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After dating for just about a year, Drew Barrymore got engaged to Will Kopelman, who is probably gonna kill her for her money. Because he’s an art consultant, which sounds like a phony job, and he just looks like the kind of guy who would marry someone and then kill them for their money. So don’t be surprised if Drew and her big stupid face have a little “accident” next year. It’s amazing no one thought of this sooner. She’s rich and dumb as a rock even when she’s not high, which is always. Even painting a big X on the floor and then telling her to stand on it under the safe dangling from a rope would work.

Drew Barrymore is the most overpaid actor

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 11:30 AM

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No one went to see Justin Timberlake try to make serious faces in the movie ‘In Time’ over the weekend, and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that made me. Was that really a surprise? That guy is a dick, and he can’t act for shit, and I have no idea why any producer thought he could ever carry a movie.

Anyway. Speaking of actors no one actually likes, Forbes has a list out today of the 10 most overpaid actors. They went back three years and found out how much their movies made, then divided that number by how much the star was paid. I have no idea why they did this. I guess just to be bitchy. But here’s the list. It’ll make more sense in a minute.

1. Drew Barrymore – $0.40
2. Eddie Murphy – $2.70
3. Will Ferrell – $3.50
4. Reese Witherspoon – $3.55
5. Denzel Washington – $4.25
6. Nicolas Cage – $4.40
7. Adam Sandler – $5.20
8. Vince Vaughn – $5.20
9. Tom Cruise – $6.35
10. Nicole Kidman – $6.70

So for every dollar Tom Cruise was paid, his movies made $6.35 in return. Drew Barrymore however, only brought in 40 cents for every dollar she was paid. Which is a polite way of saying that she lost 60 cents for every dollar you gave her. Though I question any list without Jennifer Aniston on it. The only movie I’d ever watch her in is if she god kidnapped by Al Queda.

Charlies Angels got cancelled

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 3:35 PM

ABC canceled ‘Charlies Angels’ today after just 4 episodes and… wait, does this maybe mean that Drew Barrymore is just some stoner dipshit and NOT a talented producer? Because that seems impossible to believe.

source = E online

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon August 03, 2009 @ 1:14 PM

JESSICA BIEL – made her stage debut this weekend in the musical “Guys and Dolls”. That’s her above singing “If I Were A Bell”. But her run was just for three nights. I hope she does more performances next week. Because while she was doing that, I could break into her house. (source = ok)

DREW BARRYMORE – has over 200 dolphin figurines, and is convinced she was a dolphin in a previous life. Another possibility is that she smokes way too much fucking weed in this one.  (source = yahoo uk)

BRITNEY SPEARS – went back to her blond hair yesterday. This is why I think the “headline” posts are so important. So something truly important doesn’t get lost in the fluff.  (hq jump here. source = splash and fame)