Ebola Now Ruining Naked People Vacations

November 10, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If there’s two things you don’t want to run into on vacation, it’s sand dunes filled with pasty white naked Europeans and a boat load of sickly looking African immigrants. Baywatch Canary Islands enacted protocol Numero Holy Shit when... READ MORE

Christie, Cuomo, and Bon Jovi Decide a Little Ebola Couldn’t Hurt

October 27, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Governors have to occasionally eat in sandwich shops with regular people who scream at them so they have a different view on people with Ebola hanging out at their bowling alleys. While the President seems hell bent on importing... READ MORE

Ebola Takes Manhattan

October 24, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

New York has Ebola. Wonderful. Now the rest of us get to hear about how New York Ebola is better than Ebola everywhere else. Dr. Craig Spencer traveled to Guinea last month to help patients with Ebola. Medical workers... READ MORE

Cam’ron Hawks Ebola Gear

October 21, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

For every national media scare there is a promotional product for sale. That’s what makes this country great. We turn ginned up cable news stories into opportunities for licensed merchandise.¬†Occasional rapper and assault victim Cam’ron is selling an Ebola... READ MORE

The Handsomest President Bitch Slaps Ebola

October 15, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Shit gets real when the President cancels fundraising trips. You don’t just turn down the chance to be virtually fellated by decked out sycophants unless it’s time to don the cape and get ready for action. The entire U.S.... READ MORE

Ebola Chapter 2: Wherein the Unspreadable Virus Spreads

October 13, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A nurse who treated Ebola Guy in Dallas¬†has tested positive for Ebola. The CDC, who exists now entirely to assure people they can’t possibly contract Ebola, blames the transmission to the nurse on an error in protocols. Specifically, while... READ MORE

Ebola Be Gone!

October 10, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The White House acted fast in this Ebola criss that started a long time ago by reversing their policy of encouraging West African travelers with raging fevers to come to America to purchase our custom slogan t-shirts to now... READ MORE

Ebola Seems to Be Doing Well in Dallas

October 1, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It turns out Ebola patient zero, Thomas Duncan, went to the emergency room in Dallas last week with a high fever and the admitting staff kind of forgot to note that Duncan specifically informed him that he was visiting... READ MORE

Ebola Seems to Be Going Well

August 18, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Liberia seems like a fun place. Mobs of people who like to do things in mobs broke down a newly built ebola triage center in a Monrovia slum over the weekend because they believe the ebola outbreak is all... READ MORE

Ebola Coming to the U.S.

August 8, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Centers for Disease Control in the U.S. now says that it’s inevitable that the Ebola virus will be spread into the U.S. This seems like a confident assertion given the CDC is flying people spitting Ebola out of... READ MORE