LINDSAY LOHAN - last week when she narked out Justin Timberlake on Twitter, it may have been because earlier that night, she “tried to dance with Timberlake, but he shooed her away.” I’m surprised. Lindsay seems like a perfect one night stand. The epitome of discretion. (source = ny post)
THE ACADEMY AWARDS - will expand the Best Picture category from 5 nominees to 10. Hopefully this means twice the actors on stage describing the movie and how amazing the acting was, and less time with shit like Best Screenplay or Best Score. Those people don’t even do anything. (source = e online)
EDDIE MURPHY - used to be so funny that he’s made unwatchable crap for almost 20 years, you’d actually have more fun at the theater if you went and paid and sat down and then the movie never started, and yet he’s still considered a comedy genius. Luckily choosing to do a movie by randomly picking a script out of a hat leaves lots of time for situps. (source = splash news)
Look, no one loves the London tabloids and specifically the Sun more than me. They're trashy pieces of shit who will find any excuse to talk about sex and show tits. They could have a story about a serial killer cannibal, and in the first paragraph they would say, "Jack 'The Ripper' Lombardi would find his victims near a local college, where BUXOM YOUNG CO-EDS ALSO GET AN EDUCATION IN THE BEDROOM". And then they would show an unrelated topless girl with big tits, with the caption, “WHO WILL BE THE NEXT VICTIM?” But today the Sun is printing sheer insanity that not even I can defend.
FUNNYMAN EDDIE MURPHY will play The Riddler in the next Batman movie, The Sun can reveal.
The Beverly Hills Cop star, 47, has been signed up by British director CHRISTOPHER NOLAN to reprise the role played by JIM CARREY in 1995’s Batman Forever.
The surprise move follows speculation linking Pirates of the Caribbean star JOHNNY DEPP to the part.
The film, set for a 2010 release, is being developed under the working title Gotham.
Execs have also signed up rising Transformers star SHIA LABEOUF, 22, to play Robin.
Meanwhile, Brit RACHEL WEISZ is said to be up for the Catwoman role.
Just … what? Okay, the reality is, and these are all facts, Nolan has not agreed to make a third Batman. He probably will but there’s no deal yet. There is no script, there is no story, there are no villains picked out. If he does he will make an unrelated movie, probably "the Prisoner", between now and then, as he did with "the Prestige" between "Batman Begins" and "Dark Knight". Most importantly, he has said in no uncertain terms, as has Bale, they hate Robin, and he will NEVER be a part of these movies. The Sun needs to step up. I’d like to think they’re capable of better reporting than this. I'd also like to think that a monkey could be trained to make me a decent god dammed breakfast, but apparently that takes a monkey who's not a total fucking retard. Yeah, Mojo, that's right, I'm talking to you! Oh, sure, start screaming, fine, oh yeah, yeah slam that down, that's right, real mature Mojo, real fuckin mature!
For months, Melanie Brown - aka Scary Spice - has claimed that Eddie Murphy is the father of her now three-month-old baby. For months Murphy has denied it. And today Murphy is due to appear in an L.A. court to submit to a paternity test to see who is telling the truth. The Sun UK says:
A source said: “If he tries to duck out of this test there will be all hell to pay. This isn’t just another girlfriend he is messing around, this is his own flesh and blood. Mel knows the baby is Eddie’s and can’t believe it has got to this point where she has to force him to acknowledge there is a chance he could be the father. He has left her with no choice. She doesn’t want Angel to grow up questioning who her father is. This isn’t about the money, it’s about Angel knowing for sure who her dad is.”
Is there really some mystery as to why Murphy is denying having sex with this? I'd rather fuck a beehive.
Melanie Brown gave birth to a healthy baby girl this morning in Los Angeles. Mother and child are both doing well, although the identity of the father is still unknown. And by that I mean unknown to everyone, including the mother and father. Whom you might assume would know. But I guess not. This shit is hard! Hello magazine says:
It follows a tough few months, during which Melanie and her former partner Eddie Murphy fell out over the paternity of the unborn child. They now face a court battle to prove whether Murphy is or isn't the baby's father … "The baby is completely healthy with a good head of hair," said the singer's spokesman. "No name has been decided on as yet, and she is purely known as Baby Brown."
Wow this bitch doesn’t sweat the details does she? Doesn’t know who the dad is. Never bothered to pick out a name. And she looks like a damn bear. Honest to god, if I saw this in the woods, I would run directly at it and kill it. I’m brave!
Just three months ago, Eddie Murphy and Melanie Brown (aka - Scary Spice Mel B) were set to get married, but then Mel got pregnant and Eddie got suspicious. Eddie had Mel followed and was quickly handed pictures of her on "an illicit date with the male friend in Los Angeles." Mel still insists Murphy is the father of her child, but Sunday a Brit tabloid printed pictures of her taken in May, just weeks before she started dating Murphy and announcing her pregnancy. The pictures show Mel on a beach in Hawaii with this same unknown man (more from that set of pictures here). News of the World says:
"Mel and this fella were all over each other and quite obviously a couple. They couldn't keep their hands off each other." A source close to Murphy adds, "Everyone thought it was suspicious that Mel fell pregnant so quickly after getting together with Eddie. Now he thinks the same. After seeing these photos he's convinced he's not the dad."
Um, well the dude she's accused of cheating with is white, so it might not take a master detective to figure out if Eddie is the dad. Heres how you can though:
Step 1 - Look at the baby.
And that's pretty much it.
I swear I've been hearing about this piece of crap movie for a year now, as if its some miracle finally captured on film. What the hell is wrong with you, Hollywood? Who thinks this is a good idea? Who thinks this this is gonna be anything but a complete and total failure? No one is gonna go see this boring faggity nonsense. I wanted to kill myself just watching the trailer. Wait, no, not me - them. I'd rather watch x-rays of a tumor in my nuts than this movie.
