Eddie Murphy Keeps on Breeding

Eddie Murphy's Australian model girlfriend is setto give birth to Eddie Murphy's ninth kid by his fourth breeding partner. So stop asking where the fuck is Eddie Murphy. He's fucking. You don't have nine kids by accident. Reproduction'sa thing you sometimes see women... read more

Bill Cosby And Eddie Murphy Simpatico

Eddie Murphy was supposed to do a Bill Cosby impression on Celebrity Jeopardy for SNL's 40th anniversary show. Instead hebailed on it and decided to awkwardly stand on stage for a 80 seconds leading to speculation that he lost his Mojo in 1989. Cosby was grateful for... read more

Eddie Murphy Won't Mock Cosby And Shit Around The Web

Grim faced former funny person Eddie Murphy refused to do his famous Cosby impression on the SNL40 anniversary show over the weekend. Sweater clad rapist Bill Cosby publicly thanked Eddie Murphy for showing such restraint then invited Murphy's hot young white girlfriend... read more

Eddie Murphy's Fake Son Drops Lawsuit

Some unknown comic named Brando Murphy filed a defamation lawsuit against Eddie Murphy for $50 million dollars for telling everybody that Brando wasn't his son, just one super unfunny motherfucker who should be working the guacamole scooper at Chipotle. For some time... read more

Eddie Murphy Was Harassed By Crossdressers

Eddie Murphy and his model girlfriend Paige Butcher were hanging out in Los Angeles yesterday, when they were greeted by two crossdressers who were trying to give them roses, and it's funny because Eddie was once caught with a transvestite prostitute in his car one... read more

fuck you Nicole Murphy

Nicole Murphy, who has been divorced from Eddie Murphy for 6 years yet still uses his last name to open doors, enjoyed some leisure time in Beverly Hills yesterday, which was possible since her only job is occasionally blowing rich guys (currently Michael Strahan). Here... read more

Eddie Murphy out as Oscar host

Brett Ratner is the one who convinced Eddie Murphy to host the Academy Awards on February 26th, so now that Ratner has been fired for saying "fag", Murphy is stepping down too. Maybe because he really really likes saying "fag". (source = hollywood reporter) read more

Eddie Murphy quits family films, might return to stand up

Eddie Murphy rarely does any interviews, you'd think he was in SEAL Team 6 for fucks sake, so when he sat down with Rolling Stone recently for this one, he really made it count. On if he'll do any more kids movies... "I don't have any interest in that right now. There's... read more

Steve Martin has advice for Eddie Murphy

Steve Martin went on his website (wait what?) and posted some advice for Eddie Murphy when he hosts the Oscars this year. Some if it is funny (mocking losers), some of it is not (a hanging chad reference?) but at least he tried. Unlike you, who just sat there this whole... read more

Eddie Murphy will host the Oscars

Eddie Murphy has been named as the host the 84th Academy Awards, which will air on ABC on February 26. This is a huge improvement over last year but it would have been even better if it was Charlie Murphy. Then they could have done that clip/montage segment they always do... read more

Afternoon headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - last week when she narked out Justin Timberlake on Twitter, it may have been because earlier that night, she "tried to dance with Timberlake, but he shooed her away." I'm surprised. Lindsay seems like a perfect one night stand. The epitome of discretion.... read more


Look, no one loves the London tabloids and specifically the Sun more than me. They're trashy pieces of shit who will find any excuse to talk about sex and show tits. They could have a story about a serial killer cannibal, and in the first paragraph they would say, "Jack... read more