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Eddie Murphy Keeps on Breeding

Eddie Murphy's Australian model girlfriend is setto give birth to Eddie Murphy's ninth kid by his fourth breeding partner. So stop asking where the fuck is Eddie Murphy. He's fucking. You don't have nine kids by accident. Reproduction'sa thing you sometimes see women addicted to, but it's odd for a man who doesn't wear a sports jersey and move from town to townfor a living.Eddie Murphy is rumored to spend his days...read more

Bill Cosby And Eddie Murphy Simpatico

Eddie Murphy was supposed to do a Bill Cosby impression on Celebrity Jeopardy for SNL's 40th anniversary show. Instead hebailed on it and decided to awkwardly stand on stage for a 80 seconds leading to speculation that he lost his Mojo in 1989. Cosby was grateful for Murphy lacking of a sense of humor and issued a statement to ABC News thanking Murphy: "I am very appreciative of Eddie and I applaud his actions."...read more

Eddie Murphy Won't Mock Cosby And Shit Around The Web

Grim faced former funny person Eddie Murphy refused to do his famous Cosby impression on the SNL40 anniversary show over the weekend. Sweater clad rapist Bill Cosby publicly thanked Eddie Murphy for showing such restraint then invited Murphy's hot young white girlfriend over for cocktails to discuss her music career.One of the two of them still has balls. Read all about a lover Cosby didn't have to drug. (TMZ)...read more

Eddie Murphy's Fake Son Drops Lawsuit

Some unknown comic named Brando Murphy filed a defamation lawsuit against Eddie Murphy for $50 million dollars for telling everybody that Brando wasn't his son, just one super unfunny motherfucker who should be working the guacamole scooper at Chipotle. For some time now, Brando has been showing up at the Coffee Beans where Eddie hangs out screaming aloud that Eddie is his father. He probably has plans to kill Eddie...read more

Eddie Murphy Was Harassed By Crossdressers

Eddie Murphy and his model girlfriend Paige Butcher were hanging out in Los Angeles yesterday, when they were greeted by two crossdressers who were trying to give them roses, and it's funny because Eddie was once caught with a transvestite prostitute in his car one morning back in 1997 and we will never ever forget that. At least I think these women are crossdressers, because they're just so gorgeous and exotic, and...read more

fuck you Nicole Murphy

Nicole Murphy, who has been divorced from Eddie Murphy for 6 years yet still uses his last name to open doors, enjoyed some leisure time in Beverly Hills yesterday, which was possible since her only job is occasionally blowing rich guys (currently Michael Strahan). Here we see her showing off the trim physique that will make her a certain favorite if they ever hold a Gold Digging Whore Olympics. (image source = inf)read more

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Eddie Murphy out as Oscar host

Brett Ratner is the one who convinced Eddie Murphy to host the Academy Awards on February 26th, so now that Ratner has been fired for saying "fag", Murphy is stepping down too. Maybe because he really really likes saying "fag". (source = hollywood reporter)read more

Eddie Murphy quits family films, might return to stand up

Eddie Murphy rarely does any interviews, you'd think he was in SEAL Team 6 for fucks sake, so when he sat down with Rolling Stone recently for this one, he really made it count. On if he'll do any more kids movies... "I don't have any interest in that right now. There's really no blueprint, but I'm trying to do some edgy stuff. And I only want to do what I really want to do, otherwise I'm content to sit here and play...read more

Steve Martin has advice for Eddie Murphy

Steve Martin went on his website (wait what?) and posted some advice for Eddie Murphy when he hosts the Oscars this year. Some if it is funny (mocking losers), some of it is not (a hanging chad reference?) but at least he tried. Unlike you, who just sat there this whole time. God I hate you so much!read more

Eddie Murphy will host the Oscars

Eddie Murphy has been named as the host the 84th Academy Awards, which will air on ABC on February 26. This is a huge improvement over last year but it would have been even better if it was Charlie Murphy. Then they could have done that clip/montage segment they always do with the host in the beginning with Voldemort saying, "fuck yo couch, nigga!" (hollywood reporter)read more

Afternoon headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - last week when she narked out Justin Timberlake on Twitter, it may have been because earlier that night, she "tried to dance with Timberlake, but he shooed her away." I'm surprised. Lindsay seems like a perfect one night stand. The epitome of discretion. (source = ny post) THE ACADEMY AWARDS - will expand the Best Picture category from 5 nominees to 10. Hopefully this means twice the actors on stage...read more

GOOD LORD THIS IS DUMB

Look, no one loves the London tabloids and specifically the Sun more than me. They're trashy pieces of shit who will find any excuse to talk about sex and show tits. They could have a story about a serial killer cannibal, and in the first paragraph they would say, "Jack 'The Ripper' Lombardi would find his victims near a local college, where BUXOM YOUNG CO-EDS ALSO GET AN EDUCATION IN THE BEDROOM". And then they would...read more

EDDIE MURPHY IS DUE IN COURT

For months, Melanie Brown - aka Scary Spice - has claimed that Eddie Murphy is the father of her now three-month-old baby. For months Murphy has denied it. And today Murphy is due to appear in an L.A. court to submit to a paternity test to see who is telling the truth. The Sun UK says:A source said: “If he tries to duck out of this test there will be all hell to pay. This isn’t just another girlfriend he is messing...read more

SCARY SPICE IS A MOM

Melanie Brown gave birth to a healthy baby girl this morning in Los Angeles. Mother and child are both doing well, although the identity of the father is still unknown. And by that I mean unknown to everyone, including the mother and father. Whom you might assume would know. But I guess not. This shit is hard! Hello magazine says: It follows a tough few months, during which Melanie and her former partner Eddie Murphy...read more

EDDIE MURPHY IS TRUSTING

Just three months ago, Eddie Murphy and Melanie Brown (aka - Scary Spice Mel B) were set to get married, but then Mel got pregnant and Eddie got suspicious. Eddie had Mel followed and was quickly handed pictures of her on "an illicit date with the male friend in Los Angeles." Mel still insists Murphy is the father of her child, but Sunday a Brit tabloid printed pictures of her taken in May, just weeks before she...read more